What He Wanted
by Avenger Hawk
Summary: Everything is changed after the war, but below the surface everything is the same. Sasuke swallows his pride and forgets his ideals because they say it's what he wanted, until the need for him becomes too strong. A different development of canon ending, mature themes, canon ending events are negatively depicted. Sasuita, becomes Itasasu. (icon edited by me)
1. Chapter 1

_**This story will contain malexmale relationship, and the pairing will be SasukexItachi. If you have a problem with that, again, don't read.**_

_**Every fanfiction is an AU. Even if it's set in canon universe, the author will change events according to his own taste. The purpose of fanfictions is to rewrite the parts the writer didn't like and explore new possibilities, and this is what I'll do.**_

_**I didn't like the ending and its pairings so my story reflects my opinion. So, if you don't want to see canon events depicted in a negative light, don't read my story.**_

_**I have no intentions of offending canon fans &amp; shippers, but I have all the right to write my own story without being told "I don't like your view of that X event or character" cause this is MY story and MY view, I don't throw it on anyone's face and I won't change my mind because of your opinion anyway. So, one thing is correcting my writing, another thing is bashing me because you don't agree with my choices. Non constructive criticism of the story itself and my writing where there will be just highly structured concepts like "salty" and "you're just angry cause your ship isn't canon" will be deleted is anonymous, and ignored if signed, so don't bother writing them.**_

_**The lyrics I quote may be related to the chapter with a personal obscure connection so maybe they'll sound weird or misplaced.**_

* * *

_You can tie my hands to the walls_  
_But you can't tie my dreams to this place_

_(White Lies, E.S.T.)_

* * *

Sasuke is where everybody wants him to be: in Konoha.

With the battle and the arm he also lost the urge to fight. He's had enough of traveling. He's tired of chasing and being chased. So tired that even if he meant every word about starting a revolution, being the Hokage and build a new era, he had wondered, though only for a moment, if he would be able to really accomplish such tasks all by himself.

He was lonely. Meeting his beloved brother again, being praised and protected by him, fighting by his side as an equal for the first -and only- time, and finally being told the truth before losing him again, this time forever, left him vulnerable.

Joining the battlefield, where his old comrades were fatigued and scared but together, praising and protecting each other, only added to the excruciating pain for the loss of his most important person.

He felt so lonely that suddenly Naruto's words, although the same as the previous time, didn't sound childish and shallow anymore.

He is brought to Konoha Hospital.

The room he shares with his rival is always crowded. People come and go to see their friend and savior. They are nice to him too. Soon he feels part of the group, even if he doesn't talk much and he glares at those who come too close.

Sakura visits almost every day. He doesn't throw away the apples she gives him, but he doesn't listen to her stories either.

Kakashi is the Sixth Hokage.

His first official act is signing Orochimaru's permanent exile. Even if he helped during the war the Sannin had destroyed Konoha and killed Hiruzen, he can't be pardoned. Team Taka is asked to choose between him and a new life in the village, as Leaf shinobi.

Unexpectedly they all choose their former master.

They all agree that they have no roots there, nor someone to stay for, as Karin adds with a tinge of regret.

Sasuke has something important to stay for, instead: rehabilitating Itachi's memory.

He has already told the truth about him and the massacre to as many people as possible _–those were the only times when the usually silent Uchiha Sasuke became talkative–_but it's not enough.

He wants everybody to know. He wants a memorial. He wants to face the remaining elders and ask them how they managed to sleep at night since that day they forced a 13 years old boy to kill his whole clan. He wants to hear their apologies.

Nevertheless, none of this happens. Kakashi explains it would create chaos and disorder, which cannot be allowed in the aftermath of a war.

Besides, Itachi didn't want it to be public, Naruto reminds him.

He adds that Konoha is his family. Team 7 is his family.

They are alive, right beside him, and they love him as much as his real family did.

The blond cannot forget that Itachi entrusted him with Sasuke's care. He wanted his little brother to live in the village, surrounded by friends and comrades.

Sasuke insists, more and more vehemently. Kakashi lets him talk, but his answer is firm.

He is in charge of the village now; he cannot treat him differently only because he has been his pupil. So he forces the boy to consider the facts.

The massacre would have never happened if the Uchiha clan had not planned a coup. As horrible as it may have been there was no better option. Itachi himself, a prodigy and a genius, had agreed for the same reason.

His brother had willingly decided to stay in the shadows to protect the village. The acknowledgment of the truth would mean dishonoring the clan, destroying everything he had worked for.

The system is already changing, although less dramatically than how he wanted. Besides, Kakashi adds with a stern voice, the last Uchiha is in no position to claim any rights.

The list of his crimes is long. Just like Orochimaru, even if he had been undeniably essential to win the war it doesn't mean he has been pardoned. His friends may have forgiven him despite the pain he had always put them through, but what he did, to them, to the village and to the whole ninja world, was still there.

He must look ahead, not behind. Instead of focusing of what the others can do for him he should ask himself what he can do for the others, and start fixing his errors. This is what Itachi wanted.

Kakashi's speech reminds him of his father's scolding, severe but for his own good, as Itachi and his mother used to say, and suddenly Sasuke feels like the little child he had been, facing his Uchiha Fugaku, chief of Konoha Police, fearing his authority, and desiring to make him proud.

The copy ninja suggests him to leave for a while and come back when his journey of redemption has cleared any doubts on his resolve and loyalty.

Sasuke decides to see with his own eyes how the world is changing for the better. He will help where needed.

He apologizes to Naruto, thanking him for everything. From saving him to letting him live in his dirty and cramped house. He was alone and starved of love –they both were –while now he thinks he is starting to remember what being part of a family means.

The blond gives him back his old forehead protector. He kept the promise made to Itachi. His brother is leaving, but he will come back.

Sakura begs him to bring her along. It is not the first time she says she'll renounce to everything she worked for, just to follow him. She doesn't understand that he's not going on a leisure trip.

He's not starting an adventure; there would not be a place it in for her anyway.

Her pleading look though reminds him of his childhood, when he was constantly seeking his brother's attention. He didn't imagine that his beloved brother was spying both the Hokage and the Uchiha, trying to stop a coup d'état, losing his best friend for the cause, and sacrificing everything for his future. He was too young and ignorant to understand why his brother always kept him away.

Unlike the child he was, Sakura is not so young and she's not ignorant anymore.

Her feelings for him are not a mystery. His aren't, either. He has never been interested in her.

Not romantically. Not even as a comrade, for most of the time they had been in the same team.

Now that he has come back he has learnt to feel gratitude towards her, who forgave him for every single time she had been mistreated. Like Naruto and Kakashi, she, too, is family.

Something close to a little sister craving for attentions.

That's why he makes a gesture he has only received: he pokes the girl's forehead saying he will come back.

It's not exactly what his brother used to tell him. Itachi tried to spend time with him, but he was called back to more important matters almost every time, so he would jokingly poke his forehead, promising to make up "next time". It was his gentle way of keeping him at distance, of shielding his little brother from the terrible situation he was living.

It's not that he cares or wants to protect Sakura, unlike Itachi did to him. He surely doesn't love her like Itachi loved him, like he loved –and loves- Itachi.

Kakashi said he should start giving back to his friends, show them gratitude. This is the right moment to do it.

Not having received much kindness in his life, he can only imitate Itachi's, even if it doesn't have the same meaning.

His brother entrusted him to Naruto to make him live in Konoha, surrounded by friends and comrades. It's what he wanted, and he cannot fail him.

Itachi was perfect. Therefore, he acts like him.

* * *

It was about time, says Naruto, the Seventh Hokage, when Sasuke's journey of redemption is over.

He traveled so much. He traveled so alone. He's tired and lonely.

He saw the world and its people, parents, friends, sisters, brothers _–brother –_and he was always alone.

He looked for team Taka and Orochimaru, but he never managed to find them. The world was bigger than he expected. _His route had been set with indications to guide him, even after he had taken some wrong turns, after all._

Konoha is bigger and more prosperous than ever. The atmosphere is different too. Shinobi look more relaxed, almost happy. After all the deaths they want to think about life, they all say. That's why many of his friends and comrades are married.

Like Naruto.

Kakashi, who retired early but is still a precious advisor, tells him that it's time to settle down like the others.

That there is someone who has waited for him since he left the village _–to kill his own brother and learn too late that everything he knew about him was a lie. To change his path and destroy the village that turned his brother's life into living hell and made him miserable –_in spite of all the times he mistreated her.

She deserves to be loved back. It's his responsibility to make her happy.

His redemption journey may be over, but he still has to make things right with the ones he hurt the most, adds Naruto.

It's weird to hear him talk like this, not only because he was the one always in love with Sakura, when they were younger. He's the Hokage and his words sound like an order.

Itachi would have wanted him in Konoha living a normal life, which is also made of this.

_He never paid attention to girls. He had no time for petty thoughts. He was an avenger._

_He only thought about his brother._

_He only thought about his brother._

This is for him. This is what he wanted, Sasuke tells himself when he asks Sakura to marry him.

She is confused, and delighted, even if there is no holding hands or kisses under the moonlight.

Sasuke is not that kind of person anyway. He finally accepted to stay with her. He will be hers forever, that's all it matters.

_The Seventh Hokage rebuilds the Uchiha shrine as Konoha's tribute to his lost family._

_There is no secret room underground. And the truth is still unknown to most of the people. And those who know have no interest in it._

During the ceremony on Sasuke's an old memory reappears: his father, saying that marriage was a serious thing that has nothing to do with love. His mother, half jokingly scolding him for his words. Itachi, bowing his head. He had been betrothed and he had no right to object. In a week, they would all be dead anyway.

Kakashi's speech was not so different, the young men muses. He owes Sakura happiness, and he owes Konoha peace. This way he can do what's expected of him and get something in exchange.

The restoration of the Uchiha clan. Didn't he say he wanted it?

* * *

Sasuke is bound to the village not only as a shinobi but also as a husband and a father.

If the massacre hadn't been forced upon Itachi's shoulders this is how he would live too. Even if Sasuke has no clan to lead, and his daughter would change her name when married.

Nobody cared anymore about keeping the bloodline pure and strong, in the aftermath of the war, when everybody only wanted to live, and love.

If Itachi had lived, if nobody had been killed, he would have been a wonderful clan leader. His wife would have had the same blood. His children…

_He doesn't know why the thought of his brother with a family makes him so uncomfortable._

_Is it because he's afraid that, as even Naruto did, Itachi would not be close to him anymore if he had a family?_

_Is the thought of his brother being intimate with someone disturbing?_

Sakura is a mother and a housewife now.

She's mature; she doesn't complain when Sasuke volunteers to patrol borders and outer areas, meaning he'll be mostly far away from home.

She doesn't smother him with her undying love when her husband is more silent than usual.

She doesn't even ask what's wrong. She wouldn't listen anyway. She never did.

He wouldn't answer. Or would he?

Would Sasuke tell her that suddenly when he was alone in the woods he felt like his was one of those dreams where one sees himself falling down a precipice knowing it's not real but still being terrified, not being able to save himself and not being able to wake up either?

But he is awake, and things are painfully clear.

He's trapped.

He's bound to the village and to a woman he never cared for.

He's thrown away his ideals. He's living a lie.

The friend who promised to change the system with him –if he stopped rebelling –is the symbol of that same system, and the only thing that has changed is their friendship.

Naruto gets angry at him for talking like that. Is it because Sasuke is disrespecting him, or because he doesn't love Sakura?

With a stern look the Kyuubi vessel says that the Hyuuga clan could be dangerous, if unsatisfied. Their heiress married to the Hokage was a peaceful way to keep them loyal to the village.

Not all revolutions are violent and chaotic. Some are slow paced, and make almost no sound.

Sasuke wonders when Naruto has become so pragmatic. So much to give up on his special person and chose a more convenient one.

That wasn't his idea.

The sixth Hokage Hatake Kakashi had been smart.

He had forced into the Uchiha the idea that the truth about Itachi was not as important as Konoha's safety.

That he had to redeem himself for having tried to change things, even if it was so that no Uchiha massacre would happen again.

He knew it was useless to fight against Sasuke. He was too strong. He also knew it was a risk to put their trust in him. He was too unpredictable. The only way to manage him was to weaken him, or, since that option was out of his reach, to make him feel weak.

His former sensei was Anbu. He was a keen observer and a fine strategist, and just as he knew Naruto's need to be constantly acknowledged he knew his loneliness and his need to stop running.

Kakashi guilt-tripped him into becoming the person he wanted. Someone who wouldn't be a liability for Konoha, the same village for which he turned Naruto and Sakura into pawns.

The Copy Ninja loved Konoha more than his pupils.

_Danzo died claiming he always loved Konoha, and Kakashi is exactly like him._

_Both manipulators, one hid in the shadows and killed swiftly, leaving a trail of blood, the other hid behind a mask of lies, and killed slowly, leaving a trail of minds and hearts unable to properly function anymore._

* * *

_**Author's note: Thanks for reading my story.**_

_**It reflects my impressions on an ending that IN MY OPINION left too many plotholes and didn't do justice not only to my beloved Sasuke but also to Naruto and Sakura. I don't hate her character, by the way, but I hate the pairing with Sasuke.**_

_**The main idea for this story came to my mind a few months ago and I started writing it very slowly. Then the ending came out and since I already thought of including some of its themes I wrote this. My original idea for this fic was that Sasuke came back to Konoha and didn't obtain justice, and Naruto more or less "abandoned" him to his destiny, much like it seems in canon, with N. not defending him against Kakashi's scolding and not preventing him to leave again. In my story though, Sakura got over him and went on with her own life. I am really angry for her becoming again her old self, and I'm really angry at Kakashi for how he talked to Sasuke in the end, he really seemed a part of the old system,that's why I turned him into a new Danzo. The system didn't change at all in the end, so I imagined a new Danzo could be of use.**_

_**Again, criticizing a public work like Naruto is normal and healthy, it's what everyone does every single time a movie or a cd comes out. Criticizing my fic, my characters depiction and my writing is normal and useful for me, it's not useful instead criticizing my opinion on the ending and on the characters, and my choices for them, since this is MY story.**_

_**I dedicate this story to a special Crow.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_He dreamed an entire man-a young man, but who did not sit up or talk, who was unable to open his eyes._

_(J.L. Borges, The Circular Ruins)_

* * *

_Wake up young man, it's time to wake up.._

_(Wake Up, Mad Season)_

* * *

Nobody knows the woods better than Sasuke.

An old cabin, once used by smugglers, becomes his hideaway, his safe haven from the place he should call home.

He places invisibility seals so that no human would detect it. Not animals, for they are different from people.

He likes animals. He doesn't like people.

Animals don't judge him.

Animals don't make promises that they won't intend to keep.

Animals don't force him into whatever they deem fit to restrain him.

Animals don't remind him that his brother entrusted him to someone else to make sure he would walk on an unerring path.

Sasuke is angry with Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura, all Konoha.

He is furious at himself, for having dropped the guard and having let them use him all but too easily.

He is mad and confused at Itachi, for abandoning him again. For telling him that no matter what he would do from that moment on he would always love him, but telling something entirely different to the friend he entrusted him to.

* * *

The Edo Tensei is easy to perform, with enough chakra and a perfect control of it.

Sasuke's eyes have recorded the seals Orochimaru used to summon the past Hokage.

The vessel is one of the many former low class shinobi who became small delinquents, now that the new peaceful times didn't need their services anymore.

These people often attacked villages and travelers, thus the need for patrolling borders.

Sasuke doesn't feel the least remorse when he kills him; no one would miss such useless scum anyway.

Although he excelled in every discipline at the Academy, even theoretical ones, he used to prefer physical and practical subjects such as taijutsu or ninjutsu, more useful, he thought, to defeat his brother.

_Until he realized that they weren't enough against him, and he sought Orochimaru to learn more and more. _

This time is different. His dedication is different.

Orochimaru would be delighted by his improvements in the jutsu. In fact, Sasuke's own version is much better not only of Tobirama's experimental one, but also of his sensei's and Kabuto's ones.

His Rinnegan provides it a greater stability. His Rinnegan makes him incredibly strong. Maybe the strongest.

_Too bad that his powers are raw and unpolished. In times of peace, he's been told, there's no need to use such a chakra draining and powerful weapon._

_Now he understands that Konoha feared his power._

The key for a perfect Edo Tensei no jutsu is waiting, and he's very good at it, even though not many acknowledge this quality of his.

_He waited to become strong enough to defeat his brother, thinking about him every single day, every single moment, briefly distracting himself when training, going on missions or spending time with his teammates, only to return and think about him even more._

The life infused has to fill every cell of the newly transformed body, so that everything will be exactly as it was before dying. This way the skin won't be cracked and the sclera will be white.

Conscience needs time to resurface as well.

At first, it's just a faint breathing, then it becomes steadier and steadier, the regular rising and falling of the chest becomes visible.

The body seems simply asleep.

_Sasuke never saw Itachi sleeping, not even during the rare moments they slept together, he always closed his eyes before his older brother._

_His eyes, for too long closed to the truth about his older brother._

Itachi's body stays like this, still, alive but unconscious, for a whole month. _Maybe he doesn't want to be brought back again._

Then, one morning, he opens his eyes. _He can't ignore his little brother's call._

His pupils flicker from one corner to another.

He opens and closes his hands while his mind awakes in a reality he doesn't know and he can't control.

Unlike last time he feels a warm touch on his shoulder and familiar chakra _–he recognizes him and wonders what happened, his heart beats faster envisioning the possible reasons, hiding his internal struggle behind his usual impassive demeanor- _flowing through him, giving him the strength to lift himself up on his elbows.

Then he sees Sasuke.

"Brother.."

His voice is the same, Itachi thinks, slightly opening and closing his mouth, until he is finally able to speak croakily a couple of strained words.

"Sa..suke. Why?"

The way Sasuke looks at him is the same nostalgic one. He's older, probably the same age as him when he died. His hair are longer, not spiky anymore but still unruly. Long bangs cover his left eye.

He is speechless.

Sasuke admires him like he did when he was a little boy and his big brother performed some difficult exercise, but there is something more, something foreign.

He is proud, like a parent looking at his son doing something perfectly –coming back to life.

Like an artist who stares at his masterpiece, muses Itachi as he studies the faint smile and the unmistakable veil of sadness glazing Sasuke's eyes, which makes his look completely different from the past, when he could see loneliness, despair and a burning anger. Not this quiet sadness, this resigned pain that is so unlike his fierce little brother.

"I'll check your chakra pattern now…"

He says, mastering the emotion that his eyes betray, before activating his sharingan.

Itachi slowly lifts his arm to brush Sasuke's cheek, making him smile a little more.

He tucks the long bang behind his ear –his little brother's face should not be this covered –and he sees his left eye, and his Rinnegan.

Itachi activates his eyes. The cape Sasuke is wearing hides that he is missing his right arm.

Itachi lifts himself up completely and from his sitting position he removes Sasuke's cape and sees the maimed limb. He caresses it, gently whispering:

"What happened to you, Sasuke?"

"I…"

Sasuke doesn't even start answering. He looks away, goes to a nearby table and comes back with a glass of water.

"Your throat must be dry."

He's not ready to talk and Itachi won't force him.

Even if he's been brought back from the dead from his brother, who now has the most powerful eye, is missing an arm and can't even voice his desperation.

* * *

Sasuke's laboratory is a tidy room with a large medical table, a couple of cabinets, shelves and a study table with books and scrolls, nervously stacked still open on one another, that suggest he must have spent countless sleepless nights lost in his studies.

Sasuke brings in a mirror so that his brother can see himself. His skin, his eyes, everything is perfect.

Furthermore, when Kabuto revived him his sensations were dulled, now he has the same perceptions he had when alive.

The younger brother's explains his improvements in the Second Hokage's creation, and his look is proud, again, like a scientist whose experiment is perfectly succeeded.

A pang of guilt strikes Itachi.

Sasuke is good at researching; he did the same to defeat Orochimaru.

If things had gone differently, maybe he would have focused on research like the snake sannin, the Second or the Third Hokage. If things had gone differently he would have had a better life, a family, the chance to discover and follow his true talent. Sasuke had so much potential, and no matter how much time passed, no matter how hard he tried to forgive himself, Itachi would still hate himself for what he did to his brother.

Said brother tells him that he summoned his defeated mentor to bring back the past Hokage in order to learn everything that he needed to know, to understand why he was so loyal to a village that the younger Uchiha hated more than anything.

_To understand you, Sasuke murmurs almost inaudibly, looking away._

Their words made him join the battle and helped the shinobi alliance ending the war.

Itachi ruffles his hair and caresses his stump, knowing that despite the lack of details there is surely much more to say.

"You are brave and strong. You must have been of great help."

Sasuke shrugs his words off.

"Why didn't you heal it?" Demands Itachi.

_Because he destroyed Naruto's arm, because fighting against his best friend was horrible and he needed punishment. Everything he had done needed a lifelong punishment, like being forced into a life he hated._

"Sasuke, let's heal it."

Itachi continues. "I'll help you as well. I am sure you are much better than I in this field, but I'll support you in any way I can."

His long missed brother wanting to work with him. His perfect brother admitting he's worse at something Sasuke is good at.

When he was a child he would have given everything to hear something like that.

Now that he is an adult, even if everything has been already taken away from him, the effect is the same.

They work silently. Itachi lets his chakra flow into Sasuke who directs the few Hashirama's cells in his body towards the missing limb.

The result is flawless.

Sasuke's smile, slightly shy at first, then more relaxed _–because he feels his arm again, because their teamwork is the best he ever had –_is the most open since he was a child, Itachi notices, wondering to himself why, and tentatively asking about the current situation.

Sasuke answers briefly and matter-of-factly.

The masked man he called Madara was Obito Uchiha. He really succeeded in saving Kabuto.

The world is peaceful. Konoha is prosperous. Naruto is Hokage.

He got back to the village.

His brother's smile becomes bitter. "Just like you wanted."

The elder would like to know what pains him, he would like to comfort him like he did in the past, but he knows it's wrong because he is a dead man and even if Sasuke's power is amazing it's not fair to use it to delve in the past.

He's unnecessarily harsh –like he did many times when he was alive –when he remarks that Sasuke shouldn't have brought him back.

"I died the way I wanted to die. I am supposed to be dead, just as you are supposed to be alive, surrounded by people who care for you."

_Surrounded by people who didn't kill your family and destroyed your future._

"They are not you, niisan."

It's Sasuke's heartfelt and honest answer. His feelings are as strong and deep as they parted in that cavern.

Itachi ignores his feelings, as strong and deep as they parted in that cavern, and responds in a cold tone.

"It is irrelevant. I am dead and I wish to be dead. Sasuke, you must let me go."

He activates his Mangekyou Sharingan. Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, thanks to his rebirth.

"No". Sasuke is just as fast.

Itachi wakes up to discover he's restrained to the bed by chakra sucking snakes, another technique inherited from Orochimaru.

Sasuke watches him ambiguously.

"I'm sorry I had to tie you up, niisan. I'll release you now."

The elder's voice is firm but not severe anymore.

"Why did you bring me back, Sasuke? What do you want from me?"

The younger tenses up, and the binding snakes, instead of being released, slowly crawl over Itachi's arms. One rests its cold head on his naked chest, making him suppress a shiver.

It moves back when Sasuke imitates it, crawling over his brother and resting his head on his chest.

He's warm, and even if he's trapping his body and soul Itachi can't deny to himself that his warmth, though heavy, is somehow pleasant.

Still, he must leave, or the one he sacrificed all his life for will be doomed.

Not aware of his intent, Sasuke rests his full weight on him, whispering: "I need you. I needed you so much that I couldn't live anymore."

Itachi says nothing, even if he knows that feeling too well.

He felt it every day of his life, ceaselessly tearing his soul apart.

He would gladly spare that excruciating pain from his brother and take it upon himself again, over and over, but he is dead and cannot meddle in Sasuke's life.

His brother has a whole life ahead, in a peaceful world, and he is just a reminder of a sorrowful past.

* * *

If Karin were still in the village she would have noticed the change in Sasuke's chakra signature.

Since his hate for Konoha resurfaced again_ –it had never ceased to exist, it had only been concealed –_his chakra has become cold again, although this time there is a warm core that flares whenever he thinks about Itachi, which happens often.

Konoha people are all the same to him now. Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura, everybody else are not individuals but interchangeable parts of the same entity that trapped him.

Their complaints for his prolonged absences are voiced in a mild tone.

Sasuke is no longer oblivious to their manipulation tactics, and the guilt they try to instill him doesn't reach him anymore, nor does the calls on Itachi and what he wanted for him.

When the Uchiha comes back to Konoha with the new arm everybody is shocked.

"I can't do my job with only one arm" he simply says, staring at Naruto's one, healed back a long time before.

It makes sense that while he can fight with only one arm, he actually needs two for something like researching and doing experiments, since he refuses an assistant.

From patrolling the borders, he appointed himself researcher without waiting for the Hokage's consent: Naruto's sons were born without Byakugan. He proposes to do some research on the Ootsutsuki clan, which would be useful to improve the kids' potential without an eye transplant, not unlike him naturally developing Rinnegan through Hashirama's cells.

Everybody consider him inept with people, but he's a good tactician when he wants. The subject is interesting even during peaceful times. Indeed the Hyuga clan, though happy to finally have some relevance thanks to their heiress marrying the Hokage, were disappointed that Hinata and Naruto's sons hadn't inherited their precious eyes.

Unfortunately for them, Sasuke has no intention of studying their problem at all. He doesn't care about his former best friend's kids.

He doesn't feel anything for his own daughter either, except the anger for how Konoha tricked him into becoming what he isn't and the shame for letting them do it.

His emotionless research proposal comes with a menacing cold shift in his chakra, which causes the Seventh Hokage an unconscious discomfort.

Sasuke with two arms and the full ability to perform seals is potentially dangerous, that's why Naruto accepts his conditions, such as the freedom to work in a secret facility and to stay months away from the village, even he reminds him of Orochimaru.

He doesn't know the difference between them, for Orochimaru loved knowledge and wanted to defeat death to be able to live and learn forever, while Sasuke loves a person, and he has actually defeated death to bring that person back to him.

The blonde's feelings towards Sasuke are no longer the strong brotherly-like bond he used to flaunt, the friendship that was so important that he lost an arm to stop him from falling into the darkness.

_Would living in the shadows and governing as a dictator over the shinobi world really have harmed Sasuke more than becoming a loyal shinobi with a family and without a purpose?_

Naruto is an adult now. He is no longer the lonely hated child who wanted to befriend the lonely prodigy. He is no longer the kid who promised the teammate he loved to bring back the boy she loved instead.

He is popular, he's finally Hokage. He has real family and a village to protect. He has someone who really loves him, whom he _probably_ learned to love back.

He has no time for his former friend's antics. The best thing to do is let him be.

Even if said best friend has a family that misses him.

Sakura is a shinobi after all. She should be able to endure, the Hokage thinks with a tinge of sadness.

There is no sadness in Sasuke when he determines that he is not needed anyway; not for his brain, since his ideas are considered dangerous and subversive, not for his strength, too powerful and unpredictable.

His family _–he can't even think about that word without discomfort-_ doesn't really need him either, with the baby beginning to stand upright, and his wife playing housewife and mom, so focused on their daughter that she doesn't notice any change in him, since, for her shallow perceptions, he has never been the affectionate type.

Karin, on the contrary, would have noticed everything.

Sasuke never had romantic feelings for her but he considered her a valuable teammate and a caring friend. She would have been a better wife, if his purpose was to revive the clan one child at a time.

Which was not.

Konoha tried to manipulate him into believing it even if he had been clear about it: he wanted his old family back, not start a new one.

Now he has his family back. _The most important part of his family._

That's why the Uchiha seems almost happy now.

Even during the rare short times he is back into the village that destroyed the family and turned his beloved brother's life into hell.

The idea that Itachi is back and that he doesn't have to share him anymore with anyone or anything else gives him an uncharacteristic happiness and an incredible sense of power.

He feels so good that he even pretends to listen to his wife's small talk.

It's surprising how two beings that haven't seen each other for such long times have nothing to talk about.

When he's about to leave again, after spending so little time with her and the baby, as she complains, she's bold enough to reach out to kiss his lips, but he turns his head slightly so she finds his cheek instead.

He could cast a genjutsu on her, to give her what she wants. It would not be the first time. He wants to save his chakra though. He wants to speed up and arrive soon.

He has to wake Itachi up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: this chapter contains maleXmale, brotherXbrother, SasukeXItachi, ItachiXSasuke having sex. ****In other words, don't like don't read.**

**I dedicate this chapter to a special Crow.**

* * *

_Help me you make me perfect_

_help me become somebody else_

_I want to fuck you like an animal_

_I want to feel you from the inside_

_I want to fuck you like an animal_

_My whole existence is flawed_

_You get me closer to god_

_(Nine Inch Nails, Closer)_

* * *

Sasuke loves their routine.

During his life he either wandered or lived alone in an empty house.

_His family life is no different to him._

Simple everyday activities give him great pleasure because his brother is there with him. He likes cleaning, taking care of the orchard, chopping wood.

He especially enjoys going hunting with Itachi. It reminds him of his childhood days.

It also reminds him of the time they fought together as equals.

While they stroll in the woods, Sasuke points certain plants and explains to his brother everything he knows about them. Itachi pretends to ignore what he already knows; he likes to make Sasuke feel useful and important.

He likes to make the young man smile with satisfaction.

"If you die, I die". "Only when I'll die you'll be free"; Sasuke made it clear.

Should Itachi disappear he would follow soon after.

Even without the horrible threat the elder can't return to his peaceful nothingness after having witnessed the younger's distress.

He can't stand to see Sasuke suffering anymore. This feeling, this bond, is stronger than any jutsu.

That's why he doesn't try to set himself free. _To set Sasuke free._

Even though his chakra is intact, for Sasuke doesn't want him to be a weakened and restricted imitation of the old himself.

Sasuke wants his aniki to be as powerful as he has always been.

* * *

They often spar.

The young Uchiha could be even stronger if he used the Rinnegan.

It's not that he wants to hold back, but that power is chakra draining and not wholly controlled.

Most of it all it is for real battles.

Like the one he fought against Naruto, where he admitted his loss because he was too tired to continue fighting alone, where the blonde promised to help him build a new world and he believed him, because he missed Itachi and didn't want to feel alone.

Rinnegan was associated with bad memories. Like believing Naruto when he declared he considered him as a brother.

_As if he knew the feeling of love for a real brother. As if he knew how far he would go for his brother…_

Besides, taijutsu and genjutsu are a true Uchiha's fighting style.

Fast and powerful blows against precise and graceful ones.

_If things took a different course they would have grown up sparring like this, in the clan's training fields, teasing each other and going home with a few bruises, eating dinner with their family, going to bed early to go on a mission the day after. It was a nice thought for Sasuke. If he ignored that the village would have barely tolerated them._

Itachi praises Sasuke's abilities every time he lands a good blow; Sasuke asks his brother to show him his trademark techniques. The older obliges explaining each passage thoroughly.

He would have been a perfect teacher, if things went differently.

Some of those techniques bring Itachi bad memories.

Their fight. Sasuke's frightened expression when he staggered towards him, struggling against time, stealing from death a few agonizing seconds just to give him his powers.

Just to touch his forehead again, their special gesture from a time so long gone to seem another life, and at the same time so vivid.

Just to smile to him again, just to speak to him again like a brother, not like an enemy.

As painful as those memories can be nothing is more important than Sasuke's peace of mind.

* * *

Sasuke loves when Itachi reads for him.

When he was just a little boy and he couldn't sleep he used to go to his big brother's room, where he found the elder polishing his weapons or studying some scrolls.

Sasuke used to ask him to read them out loud just to hear his voice. With time, Itachi started reading for him adventure stories or fairy tales, certainly more appealing for a child than boring politics and history manuals.

If their father knew that his genius son engaged in petty activities instead of productive ones he would surely have scolded him. If only their father hadn't been so obsessed with the coup; if Shisui's sacrifice had stopped the clan from going on with their plans…Sasuke sometimes thinks, but it's a fleeting thought.

Konoha is at fault, not their dad.

Sasuke started bringing the books from the village after noticing that Itachi likes reading. In their house there were only a medical scrolls and books that he studied to perform Edo Tensei, a couple of history volumes and a document on the Ootsutsuki clan, research material that he required so that his excuse for being away researching is more plausible, and that only his brother will read.

Lying is not in Sasuke's nature. Yet, he avoids telling the truth, because Konoha doesn't deserve it.

Konoha doesn't understand him, so why should he bother? Pretending is easier.

Even if he is not a good liar, and he doesn't even care if he gets caught.

The only thing he cares about is that they might find Itachi.

That they might take his beloved brother away from him. Again.

The following time Sasuke returns with history books; the next, with poetry, and a fairy tale book, which belongs to his daughter, who still can't read.

When her mother started reading it out loud for her the Uchiha realized it was the same story his brother read for him.

_He also realized that he never wanted to be a father._

_He is not fit to read stories. Deep down inside he still wants to be the one stories are read for._

_It's not his fault if his childhood has been robbed by the very village he pledged an oath of allegiance to._

Itachi reads for him.

The subject doesn't matter to Sasuke, as long as he hears the elder's low and melodious voice; as long as he is lying on the bed and his brother stays beside him.

The young Uchiha would listen to him forever.

Upon his request Itachi kneels on the bed, his back straight, his posture impeccable.

He would stare at him forever. His high cheekbones, the tear troughs that instead of marring it, add an earthly hue to his ethereal beauty. His perfect nose and lips, his slender hands.

Itachi's clothing is similar to what he used to wear in the past, dark shinobi garments that not many people wear anymore, when not on duty.

People wear fancier and brighter clothes not that the times are peaceful.

Sometimes, when his brother reads a poem, Sasuke identifies with the feelings expressed.

He caresses his brother's leg.

Itachi feels the same but he hides it and keeps on reading.

Sometimes Sasuke doesn't let him continue.

He pushes the elder on the bed, crushing him under his weight, kissing him feverishly before stripping him of his clothes and taking him.

Sasuke doesn't know how and when he started to see his own brother like this.

Itachi is his own property. He can do whatever he wants with him.

But it's not just that.

* * *

Sasuke doesn't know how and when he started to love his own brother like this.

He has always loved Itachi more than anyone. It's only natural that his love takes various shapes.

Admiration, hate, desire for revenge, desire to avenge him, possessiveness, protection, imitation, attraction. Everything is included in the same word: love.

A word so powerful, a word so magic, that he never pronounced it out loud before.

_A word that his wife never heard from him._

Nothing is forbidden for Sasuke.

Nothing is dirty, or sinful. He simply does what he wants, like bringing back his brother from the dead. Like taking him. Repeatedly.

His ideas on sex are confused: he always discarded it as a useless distraction for the weak-minded, something to do alone, in hiding.

His experience is scarce: a few intercourses out of duty, mere gymnastics done to prove the village he was changed. That he was no longer a threat.

That he was able to do what his brother wanted.

_What it was that you wanted, brother? He hasn't asked him yet. He's afraid of the answer –go back to the village, get married and go on with a tranquil life, don't think anymore about justice and truth. Obey the rules and be loyal to Konoha. Forget about me –he wouldn't follow his will anyway. Not anymore._

* * *

Everything is forbidden for Itachi.

Everything is dirty and sinful. Especially physical intimacy. Especially pleasure.

Especially with his brother, whom he made suffer so much, to whom he did so many horrible things.

He is a monster who deserves pain and solitude.

The blood on his hands will seep out on Sasuke if he gets too close.

Itachi is the young man's older brother. He was supposed to protect him from the bad things of the world, not to sully him.

Sasuke is pure. He has always been. Itachi is not, he has never been.

Sasuke's desires and feelings are confused. He must be, otherwise he wouldn't have brought him back from the dead. Despite his desires Itachi still considers his little brother a pure being.

Even if his first inexperienced actions on him are forceful, brutal, and impatient.

Itachi is unwilling. He ignores that before gaining consciousness he has lain on the bed for a long time, naked, while his brother traced every inch of his lean but perfectly built body, from collarbone to hipbones, from shoulders to thighs.

He doesn't know that his pure brother has straddled him and masturbated countless times, whispering his name and ejaculating on his toned chest and stomach.

He tries to stop the younger at first.

He doesn't care about himself, but he doesn't want Sasuke to do things he may regret later.

On the contrary, Sasuke has neither regrets nor shame when claiming his brother's mouth. He has no shame when taking off both their clothes.

He shoves him on the mattress, hands roughly roaming over his body _–eliciting sensation that he must not have –_mouth licking and biting his neck, where the marks won't heal, they will be covered by new ones.

Itachi pushes him back with a stern expression _–hoping he won't notice he acted a little too late –_ telling him to stop, that he doesn't know what he's doing.

Sasuke returns on him unfazed.

"I know exactly what I'm doing, niisan."

Itachi hesitates _–just an instant –_because he has never seen his brother's look hazed by lust, and it's mesmerizing. Yet, he has to be the stronger one and reject him.

"I won't let you do something you'll regret".

He declares, mustering an impassive face that doesn't impress Sasuke. He is strong; relentlessly he pushes his way onto the elder, binding his hands with the snakes he promptly summons.

Thus restrained Itachi is tense and silent, the forceful action bringing to surface past memories he doesn't want to remember.

"What is it, niisan?"

Sneers Sasuke, stripping them both of their clothes and tossing them away.

His little brother is an attractive young man. The elder was almost blind during their fight, and during their encounter in the woods he had denied himself to properly look at him, for guilt, for fear that Sasuke _–only Sasuke? –_might suffer when they would part.

This time he can't look away; Sasuke wants to be looked at.

He wants his pale, chiseled body, his fine features that time has made only slightly sharper, his large almond-shaped eyes, to be looked at.

"It is alright to be used as a tool by Konoha but it is not to be used by the one who loves you more than his own life?"

His little brother has just declared his love in the most sincere way, without even realizing, like the time he told Itachi he was perfect. Even though he is pulling the elder's hair back so that his throat is exposed to his merciless teeth.

Itachi doesn't give in to Sasuke because of his words of love.

He gives in because Sasuke hurts him and pain is what Itachi deserves.

There is no preparation; his brother doesn't know anything about it.

Itachi bites his tongue until he draws blood, his fingers clutch the sheets _–he can't touch him, he would soil him –_as his brother rams into him, again and again.

A stinging pain, in both body and soul, hits him with every moan and broken word he hears.

The guilt for being a hindrance to his brother's life is mixed with the guilt for adjusting to his brother's length inside him, and slowly starting to feel sensations he shouldn't feel, that he shouldn't deserve.

Not from the one he hurt the most, even if he is the one he loves the most.

Sasuke does not feel any particular pleasure in being brutal. Itachi knows that he just doesn't know another way.

He has been beaten more than any other shinobi, by his rivals, his adversaries, by him. Throughout his life he has only known violence, so much that he doesn't perceive it anymore.

Sometimes Sasuke voices his wants, like an order –_suck me, niisan –_or like an aching need _–I need you so bad, niisan –_the elder will obey, one way or another.

Sometimes Sasuke doesn't speak at all. His eyes, his hands are eloquent enough. He thrusts him against the closest prop, the wall, the ground, a tree, and pounds into him until he's completely satisfied.

Until both are, for Itachi's mind fights against his body, trying to hide, to inhibit the pleasure, until he must surrender to the sensation that flood through him, inside him.

At times Itachi knows that Sasuke's rage, which he vents through desperate and rough sex, is caused by and directed to him. He can feel watching the mixture of defiance, fury and despair in his eyes.

Other times he understands that the younger's internal storm comes from a different cause, and he would give everything to know what it is. He would give everything to make his brother's pain go away.

* * *

Sasuke doesn't regret his actions, except for once.

Scooping himself up he looks at Itachi: his breath is labored, his body full of bruises, his look hazed.

The young Uchiha recalls having slammed his head against the floor.

He saw how beautiful Itachi was and he became jealous of everyone who may have ever touched him; not just that. The jealousy extended to Konoha because even if that damn village used and discarded him like a disposable tool, his brother was still loyal to it. A surge of anger blinded him, making him crazy because it didn't matter how much time had passed, it didn't matter that Itachi's new life was all for him.

Konoha was still in his heart.

Only Sasuke had to be in Itachi's heart.

That's why he hit him, while fucking him so hard that his brother is now struggling to keep his eyes focused, and to hide the pain he is in.

Sasuke heals him and apologizes, something he has never done.

The elder downplays the event as if nothing happened, but Sasuke's mind is working fast.

Itachi needs payback. He has to punish him, hurting him in the same way he has been hurt.

With a caring smile, he caresses his brother's cheek and tells him that there is no need for such measure.

_Itachi will not do that to his brother._

Sasuke is stubborn. His mind is set.

He teases Itachi, kissing his collarbone and neck, but the elder resists the temptation.

He is a shinobi. He is used to conditioning his body to not feel, to endure torture.

_He must not feel this._

_Allowing his brother to use his body as he likes is different from using his brother's body for his own undeserved relief._

When Sasuke kneels down and fondles his half hardened length Itachi grabs his wrists with force.

The young Uchiha struggles to set himself free, inwardly cursing his decision to give him his original strength when he brought him back.

He grazes his brother's clothed groin with his lips, but Itachi kneels too, not letting go of his hands.

* * *

Sasuke's look changes like a sudden storm: sadness, frustration, and something more. Fear.

"Why don't you want me?"

Itachi swallows at the sudden question.

_Sasuke is pure, he cannot understand, but he does. He knows this is wrong._

"Why don't you love me?"

Sasuke's eyes are pleading, like the times, during his childhood, when he asked him to play.

_How could he soil that child?_

"I love you, Sasuke."

It's not the first time he says those words.

"More than you can imagine."

Everything he did was for him. To spare his life. To ensure his safety. To make him strong.

"Besides, you didn't ask for love. You asked for retribution."

"I'm asking for you, niisan."

His voice is broken, but his look does not waver.

For Sasuke love is not the ridiculous feeling that makes girls blush.

Love is a powerful force that can turn into revenge, violence, and pain.

Itachi know very well Sasuke's turmoil.

To him, love is self-sacrifice. Love is protecting someone to the point of accepting everything, of doing everything to keep that person safe. No matter what the price is.

He knows that love can turn into violence and pain.

* * *

Without a word Itachi takes Sasuke's hand and leads him to their bedroom.

He helps him lay on the bed and starts taking off his brother's clothes very slowly. Every time a part of the young man is exposed he places butterfly kisses on it, then removes a part of his own clothing too.

Until they are both naked.

"Listen,Sasuke. You can stop me anytime. In fact…"

Sasuke doesn't let him finish. He pulls the elder close to him, arching his back so he can feel his body on him. So he can feel his strength on him, anticipating the pleasure and fearing the pain, because the punishment is going to be rough. It has to be.

Itachi balances his weight so not to be too heavy. His lips, his hands, are light as feathers as they brush Sasuke, but they leave on the young man a burning ache for more.

_He would have never imagined that such delicate gestures could give so much pleasure._

_Indeed his older brother is perfect in everything he does. Has he practiced it with others?_

Sasuke's jealousy becomes impatience. He urges Itachi to do more and to do it faster.

The older Uchiha's hands travel around his pale body, making it shiver.

His lips worship every inch of his lower abdomen, making Sasuke moan loudly.

His mouth engulfs his length, tongue encircling it, teeth grazing it ever so slightly, driving Sasuke crazy.

Itachi has pleasured him with his mouth countless times, but not like this.

It was always Sasuke who established the pace.

He hated letting others control him –and yet it happened so many times –but his brother is not the others.

Itachi is a part of himself. Itachi is the one he loves. The one he hurt. The one who needs payback.

_Should he be more afraid of leaving him in complete control?_

When Itachi's lips go lower Sasuke tenses, not imagining what's coming next.

He is not prepared to receive a pleasure so intense from his brother's tongue penetrating his hole.

He mutters incoherent words between the moans.

Itachi's skilled mouth sucks him again, his head bobbing up and down, while his fingers prepare him, the initial discomfort soon replaced by a mind numbing orgasm.

It's not ironic or paradoxical that even if when swallowing his seed, even after having watched him writhe under his hands, Itachi will always see Sasuke as the pure and precious child who brightened his miserable life made only of rules and duty, war, and death.

That's why he gestures to leave the bed. Instead, Sasuke pulls him by the arm, not letting him move.

"I won't continue, Sasuke."

_I can't soil your perfect body with my loathsome seed._

_I can't taint you with my bloody hands, for my dirty pleasure._

Itachi will obey to each and every of Sasuke's desires but he will never pursue his own pleasure because he doesn't deserve it.

Sharingan –and Rinnegan –flaring, the younger pulls his brother so violently that he ends laying on his back.

Sasuke always gets what he wants. He makes sure the elder understands it by brushing his naked lower body with his own.

Itachi uses all his willpower to stay still and not buck his hips against his brother's, not yank his firm buttocks against his groin to increase the friction.

Sasuke acts in his place, and it feels incredibly good. And incredibly bad, because he is not supposed to feel this way.

Sasuke aligns his entrance directly on his brother's hard member.

He is ready for his punishment.

Before he continues further Itachi takes the lead, again.

He gently guides his brother down on him, slowly, giving him time to adjust before making a single move.

The same man who didn't want to hurt his brother again. He can't let Sasuke be in any kind of pain anymore, even if this means going against himself.

The younger rides him, shamelessly, sensually, while the elder struggles between the extreme pleasure and guilt. He is inside the one he loves, and it's tight, and warm, and it's all for him.

Sasuke has never given himself to anyone. The thought of being the first to take him is intoxicating.

It's also toxic, because he must not be possessive of his brother, because he is dead, because he should find a way to disappear and leave this wonderful person alone and free to go back to his life.

_Even if it was this wonderful person who brought him back._

Just before reaching his peak Itachi pulls Sasuke close to him, locking their lips in a long kiss. He then whispers in his ear, before surrendering to his body and its sensations:

"This is love, Sasuke, not a punishment."

"You don't have to be punished."

* * *

Despite usually enjoying the calm intimacy that comes after sex, this time Sasuke needs some time alone.

He doesn't want his brother to see him cry like a child.

Since he came back to Konoha his whole life has revolved around punishment, in one way or another. They called it redemption to make it sound just, to make him feel guiltier. They added that it was the right thing to do. That it was what Itachi wanted.

Itachi is the only one who said he doesn't have to be punished.

* * *

**Author's note: this is my first SasukeXItachi lemon. **

**I want to thank my beta reader and comrade in hell Admiral Izusasu, Krystal Tsuki and Crystallinee, and ASWF for reviewing. As for the guest who hoped to see more possessive and domineering Sasuke, I hope this was enough.**


	4. Chapter 4

_My soul will soar above the trees._

_(White Lies, To Lose My Life)_

* * *

Itachi's finest feature has always been insight, the inner vision that allowed him to understand the deepest motives and secrets in situations and people alike.

Nevertheless, no talk, no observation has revealed Sasuke's.

"Every jutsu has a weakness", he used to think, even if this Edo Tensei seems to have none.

_Sasuke has really grown into a fine, smart young man. He perfected the technique that the Second Hokage invented, at a level that neither Orochimaru, nor Kabuto reached._

The idea of trapping his brother in Izanami's loop is no more disturbing and wrong than using Kotoamatsukami, but it's a necessary evil to save him; a dirty move that must be done without a single mistake.

Sasuke's Rinnegan should be stronger than sharingan, but his brother never trained it much, as like Kakashi's sharingan it was too chakra consuming. Thus Itachi's plan will surely succeed. He will cast a genjutsu on Sasuke, who will soon realize it's an illusion, but by the time he'll release it he'll find himself inside Izanami.

It won't be traumatic: Itachi wants him to understand his mistake by making him experience the beauty of the present and the hope for the future, so he'll be free from the regrets of the past.

* * *

His body is asleep while his brother is away. His conscience should be asleep too.

Instead it's not; he's half awake, thinking of Sasuke, like a long time ago, when he was sleeping deeply after coming home tired and sore from a mission, but woke up abruptly, with the impression that Sasuke had called him.

_He wasn't. Not directly. But it rained and being cold outside and he welcomed with a big smile and sparkling eyes his big brother who came to his rescue._

Itachi's body is heavy, and still, and cold. His mind is tired, his soul is weakened, but he manages to cling with all his might to a glimmer of light.

_Sasuke, the brightest star, the light of his life since the day he was born._

He clings to it even if the sweet nothingness calls him, trying to lull him into a peaceful slumber.

Somehow he detaches himself from that body –_he doesn't want to consider it his body. He shouldn't have a body _–and rises above, outside the house and his bodily boundaries.

The sensation is exhilarating, like flying.

Like freedom.

_Like love._

_But it's not doing it for himself. He doesn't deserve anything pleasurable._

_Even if Sasuke gives him more than he would ever ask for, even if that pleasure is mixed with pain, and guilt._

He thinks about Sasuke.

His eyes, intense, full of passion and sadness.

His voice, always on the edge, capable of delivering both the greatest hate and the most naïve words. His hands…

Itachi recognizes a thin trail of light and follows it, hovering his way through the woods.

He finds his brother there, walking slowly, bangs over his left eye.

_Unrestrained by the body, feelings and sensations are stronger._

_Itachi feels overjoyed at the sight of his brother, even if he ignores why he doesn't hop from branch to branch and hurry home. Why he covers the Rinnegan eye, as if his power wasn't accepted._

_Itachi ignores that he is the only one who accepts him, who admires him, who loves him as he is._

_If the younger were in trouble he could do nothing, the older thinks for a fleeting moment, before remembering that Sasuke is no longer the little boy out in the storm without the umbrella. He doesn't need him anymore, or so Itachi thinks._

_To him, Sasuke is strong, and beautiful, and smart._

_Sasuke is perfect._

* * *

_Sasuke walks alone in the woods when he feels something._

_He is not alone._

_He turns around, hand clutching the hilt of his sword._

_It's ironic that in times of peace he, maybe the most powerful shinobi, is still so wary of potential enemies._

_He learnt that there are enemies and dangers not only among shinobi._

_Many are allies and close friends. He should have known: to become stronger he promised Orochimaru his body, but he betrayed and killed the sannin when he had nothing more to gain from him._

_Anyway there is no enemy, not here, not yet._

_Sasuke keeps walking with a hand on his cheek, where he seems to have felt a caress._

* * *

They are indeed connected.

They are united by blood, for Sasuke used his own blood to bring him back.

They are united by their hearts. Their bond has always been stronger than any other, so much that neither of the two has ever been able to feel anything even remotely similar for anyone else.

They are united by the eyes, because Sasuke's eyes were once his own.

Once he claimed to see the things engraved in Itachi's eyes, this time it will be the elder's turn to do the same.

* * *

It's not just the huge buildings that make Konoha different from the old village.

It's people. Itachi has never seen shinobi chat and laugh out loud while doing their duties.

His were different times indeed. In war times people had to suppress emotions.

The Hokage's office hasn't changed much. It was expected to find Naruto there.

The two friends stroll around, greeted by many.

There are quite a few couples, some of them have children.

Peace is a greatest achievement society can reach indeed, Itachi can't help but think.

Passerby's eyes reflect admiration for the Hokage and uneasiness for his brother, who is polite but very quiet. An attitude that works with acquaintances, but not with the best friend.

Shisui would have noticed something was wrong.

The blond reminded Itachi of his cousin, because of that he felt safe entrusting Sasuke to him.

His empathy is no longer there now, otherwise he would notice that Sasuke is incredibly troubled and needs his help.

He would notice that people's smiles are somehow forced, as if they felt compelled to show happiness.

Itachi is quick to understand why.

They all grew up in a world that glorified strength and considered war necessary to obtain peace.

They were all raised with their clan's expectations and Academy's values.

Like the previous generations they fought a war; a frightening, but also an enlightening experience.

Standing in the battlefield, surrounded by enemies and yet surviving while others fell, made most shinobi feel alive and powerful.

Fighting against a common enemy made them feel they all belonged to a group. Now that it's over they have become academy teachers and trainers –for kids who are not even supposed to become shinobi anyway –or have ended up selling weapons to a village that has no use for them, but they subconsciously miss the rush of adrenaline, the sense of belonging.

They feel like they don't have a purpose.

The world changed, but the system stayed the same. It's evident to Itachi's all-seeing eyes.

Konoha is still separated from civilian villages.

Now that there is no need for constant protection, and only a small number of mission requests, it would be wise to give new occupations to the many shinobi who only know how to fight, instead of letting them do useless jobs and telling them that this is the best of all possible worlds, even if something is missing.

* * *

Despite a few jokes, Naruto's attitude is serious. He is probably a good leader, but he's not the cheerful boy who promised to take care of Sasuke on his behalf.

His words suggest he married the Hyuuga heiress, the way he speaks suggests it was not for love.

A marriage of convenience; Naruto is a Senju, the highest authority in Konoha. It was most likely a measure to ensure their clan's tranquility.

World peace is still different from clan peace.

The needs of the many outweigh the need of the few. Or one.

The new world order too needs sacrifices, and an arranged marriage is not the biggest sacrifice ever required to maintain peace.

_Before circumstances changed, Itachi had been betrothed to a distant cousin, whose father was influential among those who didn't completely agree with the coup. Thanks to that marriage though, that man would have gained prestige, and this was enough to change his mind, bringing his allies on Fugaku's side._

_Itachi would have married the girl and led the clan, he would have chosen traditions and duties over his freedom, so that Sasuke wouldn't lose his._

Sasuke keeps walking aimlessly, listlessly, as if he doesn't have a house to return to, even after the blond leaves.

* * *

What Itachi sees next hits him with waves of different feelings.

Joy, because Sasuke lives in a peaceful Konoha with a wife and child.

It's what he has always fought for: a bright future for Sasuke.

Pride, because his little brother has become a man.

The child whom he cradled in his arms is now a father.

Embarrassment, and something darker that he is quick to push back; said child whom he cradled in his arms is also the man who claimed his body and ordered him to do the same. Who said he loved him more than anyone in the world. That he always did. That he always would. Yet, he never told him he had a wife, a family, despite having always been outspoken.

Shame, for his –_desperately suppressed_ –jealousy. He is not even supposed to exist anymore, let alone to think that his brother would want –_would love –_a relic of a tragic past to be forgotten, such as he is.

Guilt, because he has been tainting his precious brother's body and soul with his own, he's ruining his life with his very existence. He is like a venom that has to be eliminated, and he would throw himself in the fire right now if Sasuke hadn't tied their lives so tightly.

Bitterness and disappointment, because it's evident that his brother is unhappy.

It takes Itachi only a moment to realize it.

Sasuke's wife chats about the latest news in her life, their child's, other people. Her pupils dilate, meaning attraction, when her eyes rest on him, but not even once they show care or worry when crossing her husband's troubled eyes.

Not even once she asks her husband if he is doing well. If he is at peace. If he is happy.

_Shouldn't a woman in love notice everything about her beloved one? Why doesn't she see that her man is broken on the inside?_

She just looks at him _–Not like a human being to cherish and take care of. Like a prize, an object in her possession –_and keeps talking.

Their daughter is a silent child with a peculiar lack of sight, consequence of her mixed blood.

Not that Itachi considers this a problem in itself. Uchiha strength has always brought more troubles than benefits. What concerns him is that the little girl views her father as a stranger, with curiosity and wariness.

Not with respect. She must have taken this trait from her mother.

Sasuke is not affected by her anyway. He is cold, even if he felt neglected by their father as well.

However, he doesn't act like Fugaku at all. He is simply uninterested, apathetic.

* * *

Later that night, when his family is asleep and Sasuke stares at the stars outside the window, Itachi's conscience delves into his brother's.

It's a dirty move and he knows it, but he has to save him.

He can't dwell on the magnificent sight of the moonlight, shining on the young man loosely wearing a yukata that leaves his pale chest exposed.

He can't linger on how the younger whispers: "Niisan…", sliding his slender hand under the fabric and stroking himself, not even bothering hiding from who might see him.

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**I took the inspiration of the double jutsu from the movie Inception and I used a quote from Star Trek.**_

_**maybe it's not clear that the cursive parts, especially Itachi's, are his deeper thoughs, his sense of guilt, not my thoughts or me judging him guilty, cause I defend him completely. I see him through Sasuke's eyes, and I think he had no other choice but to act like he acted. Same thing for Sasuke's supposed punishment. I supported Sasuke in everything he did because I think he was right in wanting justice.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_I sense your presence in this room, I feel that you are near._

_So hold me close and whisper love is forever._

_(Apoptygma Berzerk, Love Never Dies)_

* * *

Sasuke's conscience is chaotic.

Itachi can't pick what he needs to know about his brother, thus sparing him from his intrusion as much as he can.

It's the memories that come to him, flooding his heightened perception like deep rough waters drowning him. All of them are related to him, directly or not.

The games they played when they were children; the times he pretended to study besides him, when he didn't even know how to read; the "missions" Itachi assigned him to keep him quiet, like collecting cats' paw prints.

His childhood crumbling, the night of the massacre; the desperation of losing his family, the fear seeing his beloved big brother changing into a demon and leaving him all alone in the world.

_If only he knew that after he passed out Itachi hugged him tight, crying all his tears before disappearing._

The loneliness hidden by a mask of indifference that the boy used to take off only at night, when he cried himself to sleep and woke up ashamed and angry at his weakness.

The need to become stronger, the endless training, and the humiliation when he realized that he was still weak.

_If only Sasuke knew that the pain he felt with each hit he took, Itachi felt it too._

_It was not supposed to go that way. He made sure of it._

_To kidnap the kyuubi vessel he purposely waited for Naruto to be away from Konoha, so that his brother would be safe. He hated the idea of killing another innocent child, but he had no choice. He needed to be a member of Akatsuki, to spy on them and keep them away from the village._

_He would have never imagined that Sasuke would come looking for him. That time he thought it was out of worry about his friend that he rushed into that hotel with no strategy, no fear and no idea of how weak he still was, compared to someone who witnessed the horrors of war at 4, killed people for a living at 10 and massacred his whole clan at 13._

_Itachi had turned his back on Sasuke because he couldn't afford to show any emotion at the sight of his brother growing up and becoming strong –because he was, and he would have become stronger in due time._

_Ignoring him exacerbated the boy, who kept coming at him, screaming his hate, shouting his anger without a single chance of beating him._

_Itachi's heart ached when he broke Sasuke's wrist; it ached when he threw him against the wall with a kick, breaking some ribs. It ached when the younger lifted himself up again, cradling his hand, coughing blood, threatening anyone, even a legendary sannin, to not attempt to fight him because that was his fight._

_Back then Itachi didn't know that to Sasuke his indifference, his "preferring" Naruto, who was weaker than him, who wasn't even his brother, was __more painful__ than any blow._

_Itachi's heart almost cracked when he tackled the boy up against the wall, crushing his throat, leaning on him and whispering how weak he was, how weak was his hate, before torturing him with Tsukuyomi._

_He had to adjust his long term plan for his brother according to this unforeseen meeting._

_Every word, every blow, every second of that jutsu was necessary so that Sasuke would be compelled to keep training, his hate for him even stronger, so that when time would come he would give him his life and powers, so that no one would suspect of anything._

_Every second his hand made contact with the boy's body was necessary to him, who hadn't been able to touch him for years, who had no other way to get close to him._

_He couldn't foresee that Orochimaru had set his eyes on his brother and promised him more strength than Konoha could ever offer, and that to have his revenge Sasuke would flee the village, cutting off his bonds, because the only bond he needed was the hate for him._

_He couldn't foresee that he wouldn't have been able to control himself, that he would have indulged his craving, putting too much of his weight on his injured brother, breathing the air that the boy struggled to exhale under his grip._

* * *

The years with Orochimaru, when all that Sasuke felt was cold hate, and thoughts he didn't understand, where the memories of that meeting took a different shape, and gave him different sensations.

Itachi's body leaning on him, his warm breath brushing his face.

If only the hand on his throat were a little looser; if only those semi parted lips came a little closer…

As he became more powerful, as his victory became achievable, so his dreams became of him submitting Itachi, their roles reversed: Sasuke pinning the elder, crushing his windpipe, punching his stomach, making him cough blood, leaning against him, panting for air, whispering his hate before trapping his mouth with his lips, feeling him gasp and struggle under his hold.

* * *

Their fight, where his brother's body and soul were completely focused on killing him.

Of showing him how strong he had become.

The void when it was all over.

_While Itachi had planned that after killing him Sasuke should have returned to Konoha like a hero, Sasuke never imagined anything after that moment._

_Dying from the wounds, or killing himself were acceptable options for him._

_His life never mattered anyway, without him._

The despair when he got to know the truth, and the resolve to destroy Konoha because it made his brother suffer.

A_lways moving, always planning the next step, for stopping and thinking about what he lost, for Sasuke meant accepting it was gone forever._

The first reckless steps of his revenge: Hachibi, the Hokage meeting, Danzo. So focused on avenging Itachi to sacrifice his teammate, to attack his former team.

_There was only the memory of Itachi. Everything else didn't count. Not his life, not his sight._

_He lived only to carry on his revenge in Itachi's name._

Their meeting in the woods. Rage and longing mixing together. Their newfound brotherly relationship, combining their forces to beat Kabuto. The praises, finally received by his_ –dead and revived, but why should he care? He was there and that was all_– brother.

The confusion and the heartache when they parted, and the humble decision to learn what he didn't know from the past Hokage.

His pride, telling them what his brother had done for the village.

_Sasuke didn't care to be disrespected, he just defended Itachi. He told the first Hokage, the strongest among all shinobi, that his brother was better than him. He meant it. No one was better than his beloved brother._

His will to protect Konoha –not because he didn't hate it anymore. He still hated it more than anything –but to honor his brother's wish.

His decision to become Hokage, ignoring the scorn and disbelief of his former comrades who saw his little brother who just joined in the battlefield as a threat, and his words as a bad joke.

His determination to survive after Madara's fatal hit, not for himself –_his brother still cared about his own life so little_ –but to change the system so that no one would ever go through Itachi's hell.

_Although grateful to Kabuto, a part of Itachi wishes he would have been there instead, to soothe Sasuke's pain; to stop him from carrying on his real intentions, after the enemy's defeat._

_He doesn't judge his brother._

_He told him "no matter what happens" before he disappeared, and he still means it._

_He will always love him._

_Even if he has to disappear from his life._

* * *

Sasuke wanting a revolution, to destroy the old shinobi world –_including villages and people. Sasuke is pure, he doesn't think about the losses, he only thinks about reaching a goal that is not even his. He only thinks about making Itachi's dream a reality. He has no dream for himself, besides making Itachi proud of him_ –and build a new one, uniting the survivors under the hate for the same common enemy, a potentially almost immortal dictator who watched over everything.

He wanted to follow Itachi's footsteps, to sacrifice himself and bear people's hatred, even if that wasn't what the elder wanted for him, as Naruto yells during a fight where his brother is strikingly bewildered and unfocused, where it was evident that he couldn't show off his strength anymore, as tired and lost as he was. Itachi feels the longing for him, the numbing desperation, the hopelessness in Sasuke's words, even if to prove himself worthy of being Hokage the young man claimed he overcame his loss, without realizing he was speaking about him again.

Naruto was tired too, of going after his little brother, of fighting, of losing friends in war. Despite his promise to build a new world together his voice, once warm and forgiving, this time was exasperated and impatient.

He had no intention of dying with him, unlike what he said once. There was too much at stake for him.

This time, either Sasuke would change or he wouldn't accept him. The prove was the destructive force of his blow.

They both ended up on the ground, missing and arm, blood loss putting them in a delirious state where they did not feel pain or anger anymore, Naruto reveling in the victory against his lifetime rival, Sasuke seemingly serene in the knowledge that his friend would help him change the world, because someone who never gave up on him, even if he never reciprocated the same commitment _–there's only one person he's always been committed with_ –was trustworthy indeed.

_Even if he wanted to beat him into becoming what he wanted, without giving him real reasons to see the world under a different perspective and then change._

* * *

Sasuke's attempts to persuade the Sixth Hokage Hatake Kakashi and the elders to disclose the truth, from Konoha ostracizing the Uchiha clan to their resorting to Itachi to stop the consequent coup d'état that was about to happen.

Although relieved that the clan's honor is intact Itachi understands the deception his pure brother felt, the restrained anger when the elders refused, the obedience forced on him, when Kakashi told him to keep waiting.

His rebellion –_he just can't help it. He lives by his rules, not theirs_ –when he started telling the truth to every shinobi he knew.

Itachi sees his future wife's hungry eyes on his brother's beautiful features, shaken by the flood of emotions he was trying to control when disclosing the events forever engraved in his memory, his look fixed on a distant point, his fists tightly closed. He already informed his comrades and academy teachers when he saw the young women and approached them because he wanted everybody to know the truth, even those he didn't care about.

_The truth was the only thing he cared about. Itachi was the only thing he cared about._

A girl wearing the Yamanaka crest shed sincere tears. The others showed sympathy, although a wary one.

Not the one who would become the mother of his child.

She listened carefully to his story, then she touched his hand for comfort, lingering on the contact, and saying: "…But why didn't you tell me before? Did Naruto know?"

_As if the most important thing was not the pain, the struggle that were painted on his brother's face, but the fact that she, too, should have known before. As if what she just heard was an interesting story to whisper behind one's back, not the event that changed forever the life of the person she claimed to love._

_Clearly she didn't know what love was, back then, and from what Itachi saw of their present, she hadn't changed much._

Sasuke neither replied or registered her touch.

He had never talked so much in his whole life.

_Everything to clear the name of his most beloved one._

His efforts were useless anyway.

_Sasuke thought that a mass murderer and a clan feared for its power and hated for its arrogance would be pardoned. Itachi knew it wouldn't happen even if the reasons were disclosed, and he did everything to disassociate his little brother from everything._

Sasuke got into a fight with an Inuzuka young man who voiced the opinion of many: the Uchiha clan was dangerous; even if Itachi did it for the village it was still mass murder, easier and faster than a diplomacy that no one really tried. Besides, if the Hokage thought it was better to avoid this subject surely it was for the best.

"Why can't you do what's expected of you instead of screwing things up every time?"

The Inuzuka said.

"…to think that they considered you a genius. You're a failure, just like…"

He never finished the sentence. Sasuke was on him so fast that the other has no time to react. It took three people to separate them.

It was predictable to be summoned by the Hokage after the aggression, and it was only fair that even if Kakashi had been his brother's first sensei, having become now the head of the village he had to be impartial.

Except that Itachi's former senpai was not severe at all.

He reminded Sasuke of all the times he didn't follow the rules and broke the law, causing troubles to the village, betraying the shinobi code and his comrades' trust, making those who loved him suffer for no reason.

The village had pardoned him and his friends had forgiven him many times already, but this wouldn't happen forever.

He was expected to change, to behave properly, to show respect to his superiors and loyalty to Konoha. Not having done anything of the sort yet, he should have cleared his mind and reflect on his wrongdoings and their consequences.

Away from his village, Kakashi added in a darker tone, before returning to a more informal attitude, to explain the importance of a journey of redemption to atone for his sins, so that he would come back with the right disposition, in order to start a new, joyful and productive life surrounded by his real friends, like his brother would have wanted.

_Itachi would have wanted Kakashi to treat his brother differently, with either tolerance or impartiality. Most certainly not guilt tripping and manipulating him, using sympathy to take advantage of Sasuke's loneliness, confusion and scarce understanding of other's people's feelings._

_The older Uchiha wouldn't expect any favoritism. The younger was an adult and he had to take responsibility for his actions._

_Punishments can be harsh, but they also need to reeducate so that one won't commit it anymore, not because he is been told that he made someone suffer –wrongdoings cause suffering, nevertheless there are some that can't be avoided –but because he understands his faults._

_The Second Hokage was a better leader than the Sixth._

_Tobirama was harsh with Sasuke until the young man decided to protect Konoha. Then, he treated him like a comrade, fighting beside him and trying to defend him from Madara._

_Like Hashirama he was an honorable man, who had deeply loved the village and cared for its people. He had died to protect them all. He had studied the Uchiha clan in order to find something they could do to give their unique contribution to society, wanting them to feel they had a purpose._

_He created segregation though, because no matter his good intentions, his methods were wrong._

_Itachi doesn't judge him. He can't, when he is trying to fix his latest damage: not foreseeing that the person he entrusted Sasuke to would have failed him._

* * *

Sasuke's journey was long and so filled with silence and loneliness that each time he entered a village his voice, not being used anymore, was low and cranky.

He almost didn't dare approach anyone because Kakashi _–no, the Sixth Hokage –_the day he left had said he should have been imprisoned for life if it hadn't been for him. He was worthless, and nobody had denied it, not Sakura –too busy asking to follow him to actually defend the person she claimed to love –and not even Naruto.

_For the blonde the obsession of bringing him back started fading the moment he woke up in a hospital bed next to Sasuke. His friend was still asleep, and Sakura watched over him with a look that spoke volumes about how pointless his confession would have been._

He would have never imagined to miss Suigetsu and Karin's bickering, or Juugo playing with birds.

His team members would have defended him. Or maybe not, since they had left him alone too, Sasuke used to think with unexpected regret. He always considered himself completely self-reliant, but he was not Itachi. He was not a talker, but he always spoke about his intentions when he felt like doing it.

And he always had someone around. Even if it was never whom he really wanted.

_Sasuke ignores, and so does Itachi, that Orochimaru intended to support the young Uchiha's cause. He had been pardoned too, having saved Tsunade's life, but he accepted exile in order to protect Kabuto, otherwise destined to jail. He ignores that team Taka followed him because to them the creepy snake sannin and his former assistant were closer to family than a village that offered them a place to stay but wanted them not to meddle with its most prized members, not revealing that Karin was an Uzumaki, and not spending time with Sasuke, already a troublemaker on his own; all this while never stopping thanking Konoha's charitable spirit._

When Sasuke came back to Konoha, withered and dejected, he was so inwardly relieved –almost happy –to not be alone, that he didn't even object when Kakashi suggested that his redemption was not over yet, because now that he had truly understood his mistakes he had to make amends.

This meant behaving properly with friends, comrades and authorities, not bringing up the massacre again, but it also meant rewarding the one who suffered most from his actions, who always waited for him no matter how badly he treated her.

Everybody had already settled down, he should have done it too, like Itachi wanted.

_Sasuke married a woman he didn't love –a woman who didn't love Sasuke either. A woman who was ready to kill him when he became an enemy of Konoha, not because of her loyalty to the village, but because if she couldn't have him, nobody should. If she couldn't have him, he didn't even deserve to be alive; it was all written in her eyes –out of punishment, manipulated into thinking that this was his brother's will, by his former mentor, who knew that he wanted to make that beloved brother proud, that he wanted to be like him._

_Itachi can't allow himself to wallow in guilt because everything Sasuke suffered is directly or indirectly connected to him. He can't stop, even if the pain he feels is beyond words._

* * *

What Itachi sees next is glimpses of moments, blurred and blended together as if they didn't count enough.

_They don't._

_To Sasuke his whole life became an atonement for his sins, a duty to fulfill, a proof that he was doing what Itachi wanted -not knowing that Itachi never wanted such a life for him- before breaking with the realization that his life was a scam he'd been tricked into._

_After that the resolution to bring him back, a sequel of studies and attempts, until the Edo Tensei took form and his heart burst with happiness, anticipation –lust- and love, strong, mazy, deep._

_Endless, for someone who doesn't deserve it because he ruined his life._

_It envelopes Itachi -it burns him - like Amaterasu's black flames, before he retreats, consciousness waning, his body and the sweet nothingness calling him from the cabin._

_Not unlike inside his Tsukuyomi, even if to him it looked like an eternity, in the outside world only a few minutes have passed._

_The yukata nonchalantly loose on his pale chest and slender legs, Sasuke is still stroking himself with no care of being caught, with a hazy look and his brother's name on his wet lips._

* * *

When Sasuke comes home they stare silently at each other for a long time.

Now they both know everything.

Sasuke feels unexpectedly lighter, now that Itachi has discovered his secret.

He is not angry for what his brother did. He has always hated secrets and lies.

If he hadn't spoken before it was for the shame he felt, for having been weak and stupid, to not understand Konoha's manipulations. For not having been strong spirited and insightful enough to see their lies and react to them.

He feels relieved of the heavy burden he's been carrying all along; nevertheless he's slightly nervous, not knowing what Itachi will say.

_What Itachi wanted for him._

Although there are countless things Itachi would like to say, he only smiles a reassuring smile and swipes the younger's bang behind his ear, to admire the shine of both his big onyx eyes on his beautiful, sad face.

"Welcome home, Sasuke"

Sasuke nods without a word. His look is fixed on the alluring features of the elder, his high cheekbones, his elongated eyes that never let go of the mysterious, unreadable expression even when they show tenderness, the lines that give him the appearance of a fallen angel, his lips…

He kisses Itachi deeply, pushing him against the wall, his hands traveling under the elder's shirt, letting loose his hair, unfastening his pants.

Their lovemaking is heavy like his brother's desperation and intense like his love.

Itachi arches his back to let Sasuke fill him deep, pouring all his troubles into him, slender hands caressing his back –unwillingly grazing it, lost in a kaleidoscope of sensations, but Sasuke doesn't mind. He only wants those hands on him. He wants his nails on him– and burying themselves in his hair, lowering him down for countless wet kisses.

Sasuke moans almost breathlessly in Itachi's mouth, while under his body the older Uchiha follows the rhythm of his movements, holding him tight, complying not only to the other's need to be pleasured, but also to be comforted.

_And then, to be taken. To be desired by the one he desires so badly. To be filled with the tangible proof of Itachi's existence, although for the elder his seed is cursed and wrong because he's Sasuke's brother and he's supposed to be dead._

* * *

If Itachi told Sasuke that this should have been the last time they made love, that Sasuke should have gone back to Konoha and his family because that's what honorable men do, the young man wouldn't have listened.

That's why Itachi's plan was to take advantage of him while all his guards were down, while he was lost inside him.

He should have used Tsukuyomi on his brother while they were making love.

He should have cast Izanami soon after, and while Sasuke was stuck in its loop, understanding his mistakes, let him undo the Edo Tensei.

He would have been free from the visual jutsu when he would have freed himself from the obsession of him.

_Itachi knows it's not just an obsession, even if he almost can't believe that Sasuke, the brightest star, loves him, a shadow, so much that everything pales in comparison._

Yet, he didn't carry on his plan.

Itachi saw everything.

He saw inside Sasuke's heart.

Just as he once wanted to become Hokage and change the system to honor his brother's wish for peace, even if the state of the world had never been his priority _–there was only room for two in his life: himself, who had to improve, become strong, become perfect, and his brother, the perfection to reach, the person he loved _–the only reason he lived in Konoha as a good citizen, despite the grudge for the village, the disappointment for Naruto's change and the indifference towards his family was the respect for his will.

_For what they said was his will._

_He wanted Sasuke in the village, healing from the wounds of the past that he inflicted on him, finally free of the memory of a brother who despite loving him more than anything else in the world, had blood stained hands, a brother who didn't deserve to be remembered._

_He wanted Sasuke surrounded by friends and mentors like Naruto and Kakashi, who forgave the mistakes of the past and supported the good deeds of the present._

_He wanted Sasuke to experience joy, contentment, love, everything that life had to offer to the wonderful person he was._

He saw through Sasuke's eyes, which once were his own.

Even if the younger should have never brought him back –not only he used a forbidden jutsu, he also betrayed Konoha again, essentially chasing after him once more –and even despite Itachi's unwavering loyalty for the Leaf, he can't overlook that what the village did to his brother is neither honorable nor really excusable.

It was just a precarious measure to contain what was perceived as danger –_his brother –_by belittling him so that he wouldn't realize _–remember –_the extent of his full potential.

_He didn't want Sasuke to be guilt tripped for his crimes instead of being rehabilitated._

_He didn't want Sasuke to be abandoned like a troublesome burden to take care of only because of a promise, someone who once come back could be left to himself because the job had been completed._

_He didn't want Sasuke to be manipulated into doing what he would have supposedly wanted, mimicking the lives of other people, whose history was different from his brother's._

_He didn't want Sasuke to be forced to marry a person who called love her selfishness and desire , who thought he owed it to her._

_Love is not something that can be owed._

_Itachi knows it well, because he doesn't deserve Sasuke's unconditional love and yet he keeps receiving it._


	6. Chapter 6

_**Warnings: malexmale(SasukexItachi) , incest (you should have realized by now), anti-ending and its pairings.**_

* * *

_He says 'the only thing I've ever found_

_That's greater than it always sounds_

_Is love.'_

_(White Lies, Is Love)_

* * *

Even though for a long, long time, his goal has been to avenge them, Sasuke's memory of the clan is vague. Maybe because he was so young when he lost them all.

Maybe because he forced himself not to think about them as actual individuals but as an entity, an almost abstract concept to give him purpose and strength, not memories.

He never grieved them. He never stopped to mourn the loss of the people he loved.

Not even his parents, for when he visited the cemetery he never prayed them, or pray for them.

He only changed the flowers on their grave, mentally repeating his oath of revenge, carefully blocking out every happy memory.

_He didn't stop to mourn Itachi either. He couldn't. Not only because he had to avenge him, but also because grieving would be admitting he was gone forever, and thinking about it was like having a piece of his soul ripped away from him._

* * *

Sasuke is curious about everyone, from influential figures to ordinary people.

Learning about them is his way of grieving.

He likes especially the anecdotes about people he interacted with, but his favorites are those where he and Itachi are involved.

There aren't many because his brother has always been busy, divided between with missions for the clan and missions for Konoha, and when he was free he used to train, alone or with Shisui.

The young Uchiha loves to hear about their cousin.

He remembered the young man, resolute but kind, always with a big smile and nice words towards him, who was often jealous because he was older, stronger and allowed to take his brother out after dinner, while he had to go to sleep early.

Back then he ignored that instead of doing funny things the two boys discussed about the grim future that was about to crush them all.

Sometimes Itachi explains him events of historical and cultural value for the clan, such as their ancient religion, their founding fathers, everything happened long before Madara.

Sometimes, noticing that Sasuke can't remember the details of his childhood, Itachi takes him there using the same genjutsu he used to show the story of the mangekyou sharingan.

With his brother he roams in the compound, through its streets and people, taking in all the colors, the sounds, even the tastes of the place he called home in a forever gone past.

Sometimes he is overwhelmed by the guilt of not having been able to keep the promise and avenge them, to have justice for all of them.

When it happens Itachi's presence is the only thing that brings him back from his darkest thoughts.

_He often squeezes his hand, or he hugs him without a word. Other times the darkness is deeper and stronger, and he only finds comfort getting close, closer, impossibly so, in the elder's warm body._

For him, Itachi is more important than anything and anyone.

He is his love, his reason, his past, his future.

He is everything.

* * *

Even though he never buried it, for Itachi digging up the past is more painful.

_Just like Sasuke, he never stopped to mourn their family and their clan. Unlike his brother though, he remembered every single person living in the Uchiha compound._

_Every single person he killed._

_Their faces, their voices, the moments shared with each of them._

_There were nights they still haunted him, with their faces covered in blood and their voices cursing him._

Sasuke stopped considering him guilty for their deaths when he knew the truth.

For Itachi it's different: despite he is the one who talked about the importance of forgiving oneself, he feels guilty because he drew the sword and killed them.

More than one time he saw his brother trashing in bed, drenched in sweat, whimpering, begging for his life and their parents'.

_He ignores he is almost no longer the perpetrator of the massacre in Sasuke's dreams. Sometimes it's Danzo, the Third, or Kakashi, to pierce his mother and father._

_Sometimes it's Naruto, grinning evilly, kyuubi's evil chakra flaring and instantly eliminating everyone around, while in his house, looming over his family, over Itachi, there are his wife and daughter, the first with a nonchalant expression, the second with a maleficent grin._

_He ignores that his brother considers those nightmares a reminder of his grudge towards the village; a reminder that he must not trust anyone but Itachi._

_Even though he's afraid his brother will find the way to leave him forever again._

* * *

_Itachi can't forgive himself, even if he didn't have a choice._

_Sasuke would have been killed otherwise, by Danzo or by the consequent war._

_Despite having told his brother that maybe together they could have changed their father's mind, he knew that for Uchiha Fugaku and many others the coup had been a cause greater than themselves._

_A prodigy and his little brother wouldn't have been enough to stop._

_Their pride as a clan had been stepped on for too long. They preferred dying to be oppressed any longer._

* * *

_Sasuke's memory, his heart and soul, bore no trace of hate for him._

_Nevertheless, whether it was a spark from the unconscious, or a conditioned reflex from his body reminding him of the old fear, at times the elder can see his brother's eyes darkening._

_It is just a moment, like a passing cloud over a bright sky; until the younger reaches out to him._

_Sasuke always touches him to chase his somber thoughts._

_As if he still wanted to prove to himself that his brother is not an enemy._

_Itachi knows that to chase the cold blooded killer from his mind sometimes a hug is not enough, and he doesn't try to tame the younger when he is driven towards him by a racing, desperate passion and he bits and scratches, as if he wants to tear him apart._

Itachi knows Sasuke's healing is a long and hard process.

_It should have started long before he was brought back._

He tells himself that it doesn't matter that his brother wants him; he is not what Sasuke needs.

He is a dead man. He belongs with the dead.

He is a constant reminder of the massacre.

It doesn't matter how much he loves him. It's selfish to even think about it.

Sasuke deserves much better than him.

It pains Itachi to think that the younger can't heal in this Konoha either, where he is not even a tool, just a troublesome wild animal to be kept in a cage made of tricks and manipulations.

Sasuke deserves much more than this.

Now that there are no more secrets he opened up; he honestly talks about everything, replying to every question with no reticence or embarrassment, reminding the elder of the times he was a child.

He is not a child anymore though, and he is not hiding in fear of being punished for breaking a vase.

He is hiding from a family he doesn't want. From a village that betrayed him.

The peace his brother experiences while living with him is frail, like a bubble swung by the breeze, that a stronger wind would easily burst.

An illusion, like a genjutsu; with him Sasuke forgets about the ties imprisoning him, but outside they still exist.

Outside Sasuke has a daughter, an innocent child who should not suffer for reasons she can't even understand.

Outside, the wrong choice might unbalance the painfully acquired world peace.

Outside, Sasuke might be judged a criminal and chased again.

An older brother's job is to protect the younger, but what is the right protection now?

For the first time Itachi doesn't know what to do.

In the past he thoroughly designed everything so that his beloved brother would stay safe, become strong, and when the time was ready kill him and be granted with his power.

Despite Orochimaru's disturbance he was able to adapt his long term plan so that Sasuke would be free from the sannin's curse and could return to Konoha as the hero who killed him, its most wanted criminal.

Not even his brilliant mind and his unique insight though, predicted Sasuke's decisions.

Itachi underestimated how important, how irreplaceable, he was for his brother.

He didn't predict how badly Sasuke would have suffered without him. How far he would have gone to reach him.

_It was all his fault._

And now all he wanted was to shield him from every problem, to bear them all on his shoulders so that the other can be free.

* * *

Maybe the cabin where Sasuke and Itachi lived hadn't always belonged to smugglers.

Maybe it was built by a solitary soul who missed the elegant beauty of cherry blossom trees, and watching them with a loved one.

Maybe he planted some in a nearby clearing to enjoy them every year.

That person is long gone but the trees are still there, blooming with pink flowers whose delicate petals are carried by a gentle spring breeze.

Itachi can't help running his fingers through Sasuke's black mane, that apparently attracts and traps said petals, unlike his silky locks.

They walked here holding hands, the younger telling the older about a wonderful place he had discovered.

Itachi thanks Sasuke for showing him to such a beautiful scenery.

Its beauty reminded of him, the young man adds, love written all over his face. Itachi smiles.

The beauty his brother sees in him is not what he sees when he looks in the mirror.

_He sees the reflection of a man with blood staining his hands and body._

Sasuke's beauty is much more stunning to him. The young man is delicate and strong at the same time.

His features are full of contrasts, the paleness of the skin against the raven black of his hair; the coldness he shows around everyone, and the warmth he saves only for him.

Cold, like the bittersweet metal bite around his neck, while Itachi's eyes are closed just like the younger commanded. His fingers recognize the pattern: an exact replica of the one he used to wear.

It was their father's gift to their mother. When she looked at it she saw the three men of her life, Mikoto told him once, putting it back to her drawer, preventing little Sasuke from constantly pulling it.

"Something was missing without it. Now everything is perfect."

His brother says, proving the older that he didn't lose that habit.

_Nothing is perfect, Itachi reminds himself._

_Even if that particular place and time –the most beautiful scenery he has seen in his life, with the most important person of his life –looks like a glimpse of heaven for his damned soul._

_He can't lose contact with reality though. He can't forget who he is and what he did._

_He can't forget he is the one his beloved brother must be saved from._

"Just like you are."

Warmth, like that of the hand caressing Itachi's cheek, tracing the contour of his lips, while the other pulls him closer for a slow kiss that becomes long and heated and leaves them both panting for breath.

"Sasuke…"

This area is slightly outside their invisibility seals.

Sasuke takes off his shirt and stands still for a moment, to admire the sight of Itachi's bare chest, and the marks he left on it.

"You are mine now, niisan. Isn't it? Only mine."

He frees the elder's hair and runs his finger through the dark silky strands. He rests his hand on the other's shoulder, and guides him on his knees.

_He loves the sight of Itachi, the perfect shinobi, the perfect brother, the one he always dreamt of, kneeling in front of him._

_Submitting to him._

_When he looks at him like this, it seems almost true._

Itachi belongs to him, Sasuke repeats in his mind, freeing his arousal.

He clasps his brother's hair and pulls his head back.

The elder slightly parts his lips; he brushes them with his hard length, and enters with a low moan.

His mouth is hot and moist. Sasuke knows he should be gentler, he should let him breathe. He should let him take the lead and enjoy the sweet addictive pleasure he is so good at giving.

_So good that more than once he voiced his jealousy in the roughest way, because Itachi knew everything about sex, about everything, about him, while he knows nothing about Itachi._

Instead, he fucks Itachi's mouth, almost choking him, barely letting him take in some air, never loosening the grip _–the other might leave if he did_– not even when he spills his seed with a muffled cry.

Itachi swallows it all and looks at Sasuke from below.

He's graceful as ever; he's strong as ever.

His look is as puzzling as ever, as if a part of him is there, with him, in the here and now, and another one is far away, maybe in the past or maybe in the future. Never entirely with him. Never entirely his own.

_Itachi may be on his knees but he is not submitted._

_He may allow him to guide his body down but he is not weaker than him._

_He may let him do what he pleases with him, but he is not submissive._

When he stands up Sasuke devours his lips again, plunging his tongue into his mouth –tasting himself in him –pressing their bodies together, forcing him to take a few steps backwards and lean against one of the trees.

"Sasuke. We should go back. Someone …"

Sasuke kisses his neck, pushing him harder, possessively tilting his brother's head on the side, to have a better access to his throat.

Unfazed by his words, he replies with a low growl that vibrates on the elder's skin.

"Let them come."

**A/N:**

**Naruto next generation, as my inner Trekkie soul calls it, is out. Sasuke has been away for 12 years without a single word to his family and I feel like my story has a point, somehow.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Warnings: malexmale incest, characters' death, non-passive Itachi.**

* * *

_We are the ones with the radiating eyes._  
_We are the ones who have a fire inside._  
_We are the ones only we can recognize._  
_We've been rejected (we've been rejected)-_  
_Suffered the ignorance, suffered the selfishness,_  
_been pushed so far down now comes our time to surface._  
_Turn from the light, that made them all go blind._  
_We've been protected (we've been protected)_  
_ALL ARISE TO WHAT WE BRING,_  
_OUTSTRETCHED HANDS, UNFOLDED WINGS._  
_We've hurt ourselves, and I feel the sting of_  
_broken hearts and burning wings... (A.F.I., Keeping Out Of Direct Sunlight)_

* * *

It's impossible that Sasuke hasn't sensed anything.

_Unless he did it on purpose._

The more Itachi tenses up _–Anything could happen. He can't lose control now –_the more Sasuke's kisses become feverish, sucking and biting his neck and collarbone, while his hand leans on his chest, and the other one slides lower…

The odd hair color gives her away. Her shrill voice, filling the silent grove, does the rest.

"Sasuke…what have you done?"

Sasuke straightens his back in a relaxed manner, looking at his wife with an arrogant smirk.

Her question is unclear.

What has he done admiring flowers in the woods instead of working on his so called extremely important research?

What has he done bringing Itachi back with a forbidden jutsu?

What has he done just passionately kissing a man, his own brother, his own formerly dead brother nonetheless?

_His own brother, used and thrown away like a disposable tool, forgotten by a village that should have treated him like a hero._

_His own brother, the only one he ever loved, unlike her._

What has he done being so stupid to fall into Konoha's manipulations and believing that he was really supposed –that his brother wanted him to –to marry her annoying self?

In fact it's quite surprising to see her on a mission since she resigned a long time ago.

Not that the village missed her abilities anyway.

Sasuke never understood the praise she received. People used to talk about what a strong medic and fighter she was but all he saw was someone who thought that everything was as simple and shallow as she was.

This was the first time she proved him wrong. Maybe because it was about what belonged to her.

She never noticed how bad Sasuke felt in Konoha –how bad Sasuke felt at home –but she was quick to notice that there was someone else in his heart.

_As if his heart has ever been hers anyway._

_Even when he was not among the living his heart belonged to Itachi._

_Even when he knew nothing about the truth his heart belonged to Itachi._

"This is…"

The rest of the squad arrives: two Anbu, a member of the Aburame clan wearing a peculiar visor that covers half his face, and the same Inuzuka whom Itachi saw fighting his brother.

Barely dressed, Itachi feels exposed, but it's easy for him to hide his discomfort, after all the years spent in Akatsuki.

_After having fought against his own brother, the light of his life, pretending he wanted to kill him and take his eyes while he was planning the opposite._

He carefully observes Sasuke. How unnaturally calm he is despite the situation. How he protectively -possessively -stands before him, only slightly shifted.

"Let them see you, niisan..."

He adds, ambiguously.

* * *

He planned everything.

Itachi ignores if after his disembodied soul returned to his body that time, Sasuke planted the seed of doubt in his wife's mind on purpose or not. What he knows for sure is that his brother didn't give away their cabin's position, and lured them just outside the sealed area.

Even though his strategy is extremely reckless Itachi recognizes that just like he did in the past, underestimating him and treating him like a child, he underestimated him and his strategic ability again.

_He's a good tactician, but not a flawless one. He let his own feelings get in the way._

_This wonderful place, the necklace, the way he caressed his cheek, his words, the light in his eyes…none of these were an act._

_The love they would have made if those people hadn't arrived wouldn't have been an act._

_He would have done it differently, were he in his place._

_He had done it differently, and Sasuke still had scars because of how flawless he had been._

"Why are you doing this to me?" She questions, holding back the tears.

"I'm not doing anything to you. I'm doing something for me."

The young Uchiha matter-of-factly replies.

_How can she be so blind to think that everything revolves around her?_

The squad behind her takes a fighting stance. They are not here to discuss.

To them, Sasuke is a traitor and Itachi an uncalled-for creepy setback, another proof that he must be locked in jail forever. Their mission is to stop them before they harm the village.

To Sakura it's almost the same.

Except that for her Konoha comes before her husband but after her marriage.

Except that Sasuke is a traitor towards her and Itachi an uncalled-for threat to her happiness.

"I thought I…and Naruto…healed you from the darkness! How could you do something so…wrong?"

He doesn't bother replying that wrong is what they did to him. She wouldn't understand anyway.

"He's dead! He's your own brother!"

How unfitting of a shinobi, to shamelessly yell like she is doing, frustrated by his lack of …anything, towards her.

"He…your brother is a monster!"

She finally made it to stir a reaction out of him. She should have known that Sasuke doesn't care about insults, unless they are directed to his brother.

He springs onward, Susano'o purple luminescence forming around him.

Itachi is faster. He comes between the two parties, blocking the younger with an arm.

"Don't, Sasuke. They are Konoha shinobi, just like you…"

_Sasuke can't help looking at Itachi's back again, while the elder is defending Konoha one more time._

"…and I."

Itachi's mention of himself is almost a whisper.

_He doesn't want those shinobi to laugh at him, not because he cares about himself, but because he knows what Sasuke would do. His Susano' o is already coming to life; a bad choice indeed. It will give the shinobi another reason to oppose Sasuke, and it will give away their position to the reinforcements who are undoubtedly arriving._

_Everybody knows that a team like that has no chance against Sasuke._

_Itachi hopes that his calm –although only apparent, because he's worried. Because Sasuke's life is at stake –will reach his brother._

_Tentatively he imagines it like a wave, leaving his heart to reach Sasuke's._

_Somehow it does._

_They really are connected._

_So much that from the deepest pit of his soul a desperate question arises: if their connection-if their love –is so strong, why is it so wrong to not break it?_

_It's only a moment of weakness though. Itachi knows that he is tainted in blood and darkness, and he will drag Sasuke with him if he doesn't go away._

Susano'o vanishes, following Itachi's silent command. Sasuke's pain remains, instead.

"Konoha, Konoha…Even after knowing everything the damn village is still more important than me, uh?"

A monochord speech delivered by Shino Aburame interrupts his musings.

"Uchiha Sasuke. Konoha has been investigating on your suspicious behaviour. Now that we've located you, you must follow us. Do not attempt anything strange. Back up teams are on their way."

Through the thick glass that covers his eyes the insect user stares at both Uchiha.

"Do not attempt to cast any genjutsu. It's useless. My insects are genetically modified to adjust and react to your chakra."

_While Sasuke was at the hospital they took samples of his blood and chakra._

_They studied him, achieving a remarkable result with genjutsu immune insects, but it's not enough._

_They would never overpower a sharingan and Rinnegan wielder._

_Not even resorting to such abuse of power typical of Danzo's Root, a dirty measure that threw Konoha back to its shady past of wars and distrust instead of launching it to a future of peace and cooperation._

_That's why they manipulated him._

_They never trusted him._

_They only wanted to keep him in a cage._

_And they used him, his ideal, his loyalty to the village to control Sasuke's mind, Itachi can see it even more clearly now._

Sasuke clenches his fists.

"What will you do? Will you choose it over me again, niisan?"

The bitter tone of the question twists the affectionate honorific into a mockery.

He's testing Itachi's loyalty in the most dangerous way, putting his own life on the line.

Itachi doesn't reply. He doesn't even turn around.

_He can't turn around. They are not alone. The situation is critical._

_He would let these people take out their hatred on him._

_He would let them punish him and spare his brother, but they are connected. Any wound inflicted on him with a killing intent would hit Sasuke too._

* * *

"Sasuke is not a threat to Konoha."

_A lie. Itachi feels the hate harboring in Sasuke's heart, towards a place that he sees as the memorial of the unfair death of his loved ones, towards its people who shattered his dreams._

"He felt like a stranger in his own village, that he bravely defended during the war. He wanted peace just like you. He wanted to be of help, he wanted to work with his comrades and fellow citizens to reform the system. He made amends and proved his loyalty, but he felt discarded by the new course of things."

_Don't appeal to their minds, where there are rules and laws that would inevitably condemn Sasuke._

_Appeal to their hearts where they might find a sparkle of empathy, of understanding towards his brother._

_Although changed, deep inside the Seventh Hokage Uzumaki Naruto is still the same._

_The motivation that has always moved him is the need to be acknowledged by everyone, since he was ignored in the past. He would never decide anything that would make him unpopular in the eyes of his friends and villagers. So, if Sasuke gains a few sympathizers he would surely handle the situation in a more favorable manner._

"He thought he needed a..familiar presence in his life. When people are discriminated they end up withdrawing to protect themselves. Thus there is no more communication. The differences seem too many and it becomes harder to find a common ground, even if deep down inside they all have the same needs and wishes."

_Itachi can't shame Sasuke for loving him, a traitor, a killer. Yet he must minimize his feelings to avoid these ignorant shinobi judging him._

_He won't let anyone hurt his brother anymore._

_Even if he has to hurt him instead._

_Even if it's his words that pierce his heart and put salt on his open, bleeding wound, dismissing his feelings, ignoring any mutuality._

Itachi speaks with a deep, low voice.

"Deep down inside some of you might have experienced a similar feeling. Unexpectedly peace doesn't appease you. It makes you feel frustrated instead…"

_Appeal to their own problems, for they will not acknowledge Sasuke's. They never did._

The Inuzuka shifts his gaze for a moment.

_He wanted to become the strongest of his clan. He wanted to become Hokage, but the village only appreciates his tracking skills and his dogs training ability. Nevertheless, like his former teammate he never stopped improving. He used to train with Shino in the Inuzuka training grounds, so that Akamaru, old and blind, could keep them company._

_He refused to take another dog after his most precious comrade passed away._

The shinobi shakes his head to dismiss the dangerous trail of thoughts and retorts:

"Stop talking, Uchiha! Let me see what you can do without your dirty tricks!"

He's taken aback by Sakura's sudden move: she lashes at Itachi with the rage of a jealous child against someone who stole her favorite toy.

The older Uchiha promptly knocks her out with a hit at the back of her neck.

With a fluid movement he lowers her on the ground, grabbing the kunai that she lost, and the others in her pouch.

He looks sideways. Sasuke is two steps behind, his clothes disheveled, his expression sneering and pained at the same time, a few petals tangled in his hair.

Just a few moments ago he was ready to charge their opponents with Susano'o.

Now he looks at him without seeing him; he is lost in his own thoughts.

_In his own suffocating nightmares, where on one side there is life in Konoha, with its miserable people, wanting to swallow him, and on the other his brother abandoning him again._

_He dies for lack of air in both._

"Let them take me, brother."

His voice is broken but it's only an instant. All hesitation disappears in Sasuke when he stretches his arms wide open for everybody to see, and screams with all his might:

"You idiots, come and get me, I won't fight back!"

_Sasuke's mouth said one thing. His eyes told Itachi another._

_Don't let them take me, niisan..._

Both Anbu leap towards him, but Itachi shields him.

"Sasuke! Your life, your future are at stake. Is this what you want?"

He asks, rejecting their attack.

"This is what _you_ want, niisan."

Sasuke replies bitterly, not even bothering to deflect the backlashes of what the older blocks.

_He doesn't understand that Itachi doesn't wish anything for himself._

Shino's insects enclose him in their lethal cage, but he disappears in a flock of crows. He reappears doubled; his clone countering Kiba's attacks as well as the Anbu.

Even if his trademark fighting techniques are long range he has always been good at hand to hand combat.

_Even if he always hated fighting he has always been good at it. It was just a matter of predicting his opponents' moves, and reading others has always been easy for him. Maybe because for him it was easier to focus on the others and forget about himself._

The shinobi attack relentlessly, from all directions.

If he used Susano'o to protect Sasuke its chakra would pinpoint their position, making sensor nin's job easier. Instead, he uses katon to make them fall back, then Amaterasu to create a barrier.

This will buy him some time.

Sasuke is broken and he has to fix him.

_Sasuke is broken because of him._

"I love you, Sasuke. Since the day you were born…since the moment I first looked at you, my heart belonged to you. Even if I am no longer supposed to be here, in this world…with you."

Itachi's heartfelt words bring a sparkle of light into Sasuke's lost expression, but it only lasts an instant.

He waits for his brother to say something that the other doesn't dare _–or doesn't care to_ –say.

His eyes –pained, deep, completely at his mercy –transfix Itachi's.

"My life, my future…nothing exists without you. When you weren't with me I wanted to die so badly. I wanted to be with you again, far away from Konoha, far away from everything. I couldn't kill myself because you sacrificed yourself for me, but I wasn't living either. I was just surviving. Until I decided to bring you back."

Resigned, he sighs.

"Without you, I don't care about anything. They can do whatever they want with me."

Itachi knows Sasuke means everything he said, for he looked into his heart.

_He felt the pain his brother felt._

Nevertheless, hearing him pronouncing those words is different. It makes him want to protect him even more.

_It makes him want to protect him from everything that endangers him._

_It makes him want to protect him from everyone who's threatening him._

* * *

He must have been hiding since before he activated Amaterasu.

Tenzo, or Yamato, the name he took outside Anbu, emerges from the ground, behind Sasuke; he's fast, and precise.

_He's not backup; he wouldn't be alone otherwise._

_The retrieval squad –Itachi sees their eyes, through the flames –look too surprised to know he was there._

_His mission is to kill Sasuke._

_The real purpose has always been killing Sasuke. Retrieving him was just a decoy._

_Bringing him back was clearly Naruto's idea._

_Assassinating him was not._

_It came from the one who protects –who rules –the village from the shadows of his former pupil._

_In reality Hatake Kakashi never left the Hokage seat. He just pretended to leave it to someone whose name was a synonym of hero, whose words had inspired many, and whose lack of competence, if left alone, would lead the village into chaos._

_Uzumaki Naruto wasn't able to make difficult decisions. He wanted people's approval too much to be an effective ruler. Kakashi knew it. Supported by Shikamaru Nara, he acted like a counselor, but he was the one who revised everything Naruto decided, acting behind his back when the situation called for it._

_This is one of those situations._

_From Kakashi's point of view Sasuke is a threat, just as the Uchiha clan was for his predecessor Danzo._

_When he was the Sixth Hokage he had clipped the hawk's wings with guilt and loneliness. His plan of breaking him worked, but eventually Sasuke became unpredictable again and Naruto wasn't able to handle him._

_Not taking action could have resulted into an anti Konoha propaganda. Only, this time he would put his innocent daughter in danger._

Tenzo blocks Sasuke's legs with his signature wood vines.

In an instant the kunai is ready to slash his brother's throat.

_Sasuke closes his eyes with a sad smile._

_At least, his brother would have what he wanted._

* * *

The hand holding the weapon is the first to burn.

The man screams horribly but his agony doesn't last long.

Opening his eyes, Sasuke is taken aback by Itachi, resolutely approaching him.

"You want to know who I choose this time? I choose you, Sasuke."

_Konoha manipulated Sasuke. Konoha made him feel guilty and worthless, instead of useful and loved._

_Konoha tried to assassinate him._

_Itachi carries the Will of Fire. He loves the idea of the village created by Hashirama and Madara, Senju and Uchiha together, a place where everyone puts their differences aside and words together towards peace._

_He doesn't hate Konoha, knowing that their decisions took into consideration the needs of the many over the need of one person. Yet that person is his beloved brother. The one whom he swore to protect when he was just a toddler in a bundle of cloth._

_This time he will give his loyalty to his brother._

Sasuke nods and prepares for battle –this is the Sasuke he knows –but Itachi stops him again.

"Don't. Let me do it."

_Let me prevent you from staining your hands with the blood of your comrades._

_Sasuke must stay clean and pure, just like he has always been._

_Itachi is already a demon anyway, both in his own eyes and theirs._

_They never wanted to forgive him, and he never wanted their forgiveness, for he took complete responsibility of every action._

The black flames disappear.

No matter how strong they are, Itachi is faster, smarter, more experienced, stronger.

No matter how many, Itachi slaughtered his clan almost all by himself.

The only merciful thing he can do is spare them unnecessary pain.

_Unlike Yamato, who was ordered to slice his brother's throat. He deserved to suffer._

* * *

Sasuke is entranced by the view of his brother's deadly beauty as the petals dance around him, hair crisscrossing his face, torso smeared with the blood of his opponents, taut muscles rippling at each movement.

His emotions are too strong to handle.

Finally Itachi has chosen him.

He is proving his loyalty and his love by killing his enemies.

It doesn't take much for the older Uchiha to end them all.

Once again, he is turning his back on him, facing the bodies lying on the ground.

Sasuke closes the distance that separates them. He wants to touch him. He wants…

He is at an arm's reach when they hear her voice.

"Sasuke…oh no…Sasuke…"

* * *

**_A/N: _**

**_This chapter might be considered controversial by some. Everyone is entitled to depict their own favourite interpretation of Itachi, and this is mine. I think that he is often depicted as either very domineering or very passive, and too Konoha oriented. I think he is a pacifist but not a hippie, and he loves Konoha, but he agreed to carry on the massacre because it was the only way to keep Sasuke alive. He loves Konoha, he loved the clan but he loved Sasuke more than anything else, as Obito himself says more than once._**

**_On a different note, I think that in a scenario where he saw Sasuke's canon family, which is not depicted as a happy family, he would not be happy. He wouldn't be a caring brother if he forced Sasuke into a family he doesn't love just to play uncle. He would be quite dense, actually, not to mention selfish. In my story Itachi would like to see Sasuke happy, family or not, he would like him to be a good Konoha shinobi, but he would also like Konoha to respect him._**

**_Also seeing canon gaiden Sasuke being far from his family made me feel like I was right all along both with my Sasuke, my Itachi, and this story's plot._**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Warnings: Kakasaku. anti sasusaku, anti ending, anti sakura. In a mature way. **_

* * *

_"Disarm you with a smile_

_And leave you like they left me here_  
_To wither in denial"_

_(Smashing Pumpkins, Disarm)_

* * *

Sakura is sitting not far from her comrade's dead bodies, tears flowing freely. She completely forgot that she's a shinobi and she is supposed to fight back, not to tremble in shock like a little girl.

Even if the opponent is stronger than her.

Even if her opponent is her husband.

Moreover, she is a medic; they are dead, but a medic must always check and try to do something.

Not her, for when she is around Sasuke all the hard work she made in the past to become a strong shinobi and a great medic simply vanishes.

This time she doesn't scream her accusations. She doesn't ask what happened.

She sees Itachi covered in blood and that's enough.

She looks at Sasuke with the dejected expression he hates so much.

He never really hated her for personal reasons, not even when she tried to kill him, or when he tried to kill her. In his mind she was always grouped with everybody else as a part of Konoha, too insignificant to deserve more, just an annoyance to get rid of.

When they were in the same team she was weak and childish. She made fun of Naruto's loneliness, a feeling he knew all too well, and she often talked ill about her family, not understanding how lucky she was.

Now it's different.

He has personal reasons to hate her. She is the symbol of Konoha's punishment. The house they share is his prison. And she knows it.

Sasuke walks steadily towards her. This time it will not be a genjutsu.

Their daughter will activate her sharingan for losing her.

Uchiha people grow strong through pain anyway. Making her stronger is the only gift he has for that child born without love.

Once again Itachi stops him.

He lays his hand on the younger's. Faint blue light and the typical crackling sound do not thwart him.

He doesn't even flinch when the electricity of Chidori rushes through him at the contact.

The glance they exchange lasts only an instant.

There is no need to be inside his brother's subconscious to understand what his heart is trying to tell him.

There is no need to be inside Sasuke's soul to hear the silent screams that are ripping it to pieces.

_I tried, brother._

_I did what you wanted – what they said you wanted._

_I never wanted a wife. I never wanted a family._

_I wanted my family back, not a new one._

_I never wanted to repopulate the clan. I wanted to restore its honor._

_To cleanse its memory from Konoha's bloodstains._

_I never saw any future for me. I never cared about having one._

_I promised my body to Orochimaru because all I wanted was to become stronger, to have my revenge on you. To have you acknowledging my strength. To have you looking at me with fear and respect._

_Because I wanted to see you again._

_What would happen after didn't matter anyway._

_I never imagined a future in a world without you._

_I kept on living after you died –after I killed you –only to avenge you._

_Even if what I wanted more than anything was to see you again._

_I hate her. I hate them, brother._

_They're the embodiment of my chains._

_You feel guilty for keeping me away from Konoha, but even if I couldn't bring you back I would have stayed outside the village anyway. I would have taken long missions, so not to come back for years._

_So not to see anyone._

_If I had stayed I might have killed them sooner or later, and I couldn't taint the Uchiha name –your name –with my actions._

_Please, don't look at me like that._

_Let me get this over with._

_Help me, niisan._

_Let my pain go away._

_Let my nightmare end._

* * *

Itachi's moves past him until he reaches the woman. He kneels down and cleans his blood stained hand on the grass, then he touches Sakura's shoulder.

His gesture is gentle. His low voice is as enchanting as his mangekyou sharingan spinning before her.

"Haruno Sakura. Your team was assigned to the retrieval of Uchiha Sasuke, on the suspicion of treason. When you found him he was fighting against three unknown enemies whose abilities were unclear. Their leader was interested in Sasuke and his research on the Ootsutsuki visual powers. He is a doujutsu user himself. Sasuke got to know about him; he was trying to keep him away from Konoha. He wanted this enemy to focus only on him and no one else. Your suspicions were unfounded. Your team stood no chance against the enemy's minions. You, Haruno Sakura, are still alive because Sasuke protected you with his life."

Sakura's eyes flicker from right to left again and again. She is living every single detail Itachi is saying. Everything will be engraved in her memory forever.

She sees her comrades falling like leaves under the unknown warriors that her husband kills in return.

She feels the fear when the unknown leader is almost on her, and the relief when Sasuke shields her.

She will repeat Itachi's words when she'll report the mission.

"Sasuke is dead. The enemy's powers would have let him escape and reach someone even stronger. Sasuke held him inside the flames of Amaterasu. He burned with the enemy, so that Konoha would have to face only one of them."

Sakura is completely at his mercy. She nods ever so slightly, eyes lost in the tragic vision of her husband burning alive.

A single tear streaks her cheek.

Itachi's tone becomes gentler, like the caress on her shoulder.

"Your mourning, Haruno Sakura, will soon be over.

You will understand your faults.

You will understand that you have never loved him. You loved the idea of love, but you didn't know love.

Love is not something you owe to another. Love is not something you earn. Love is not something you obtain with guilt-trips, tricks and lies."

_Sasuke need not know._

_There are certain topics women don't discuss with men, such as pregnancy._

_Itachi recalls an afternoon when he was cradling his little brother and Mikoto was having tea with her cousin Atsuko._

_They were talking about his mother's friend Uzumaki Kushina, whose baby was due in a month._

_Atsuko said that the Uzumaki clan was known for being resistant like cockroaches._

_Laughing she added that the red haired woman could have carried an Uchiha baby too, even if their bloodline limit made it impossible to successfully carry Uchiha clan genes outside the clan._

_The baby would have needed more chakra to grow and adjust to a non sharingan compatible mother._

_The Uzumaki clan had more chakra than anyone else. Their chakra was also very adaptable, especially on females._

_Naruto Uzumaki married a Hyuuga, the other clan with doujutsu, and their sons had no byakugan. This confirmed Atsuko's words. Uzumaki females were more suited than Uzumaki males for outbreeding._

_When Itachi looked through Sasuke's eyes he had his sharingan activated._

_Sasuke didn't. He never had._

_Everybody felt uncomfortable when he activated it in peaceful times._

_They feared him, and he wanted to be accepted, back then. He was willing to do what his brother wanted._

_Besides, he was too pure to think about anything of the sort._

_He didn't know much about conceiving a baby, an Uchiha baby nonetheless, alone as he was, with no knowledge of anything concerning their clan. He didn't know their mythology, their history, their traditions._

_He only knew about their power._

_Unlike him Itachi saw their daughter's chakra pattern._

_His insight on her mother filled in the blanks._

_Sakura was jealous of her friends who all got pregnant. She didn't notice that some children were born out of love, such as her former team mate Sai's, Chouji's or even Lee's, and some others were born out of obligation, such as Naruto's. She only saw that those she outwardly called friends, Ino and Hinata, had something more than her and she didn't want to lose to them._

_She wasn't born in a clan and she was no Uzumaki._

_It was impossible for her to carry an Uchiha child._

_She was a medic though. The topics women don't talk about with men, are in medical records anyway._

_Naruto wasn't the only Uzumaki left, Sasuke's teammate was one too, even if the future Hokage didn't know it._

_Karin stayed in Konoha for a while. She was thoroughly examined, just as the others from team Taka, Sasuke included._

_Itachi saw Sasuke, Sakura and Uzumaki chakra in the little girl's chakra pattern._

_He saw Sasuke's memories._

_He knew he had fulfilled his husband's duty, as people call marital sex, only once._

_He knew his brother's lack of drive towards his wife, despite his will to do what was expected of him._

_As if he ever wanted him to engage in such an intimate act with someone he didn't love._

_Someone he didn't even like. Someone he had accepted to marry as a punishment._

_The older remembered the younger declining Sakura's advances. He remembered him casting genjutsu on her so not to be bothered with something that disgusted him, the few times he was home._

_It was impossible that she got pregnant and managed to give birth in this context, without recurring to Uzumaki chakra._

_She must have used so much of it that the child took after Karin more than her._

_Luckily for her the red haired sensor left Konoha with Orochimaru, otherwise she would have figured everything out._

_His daughter has been conceived in a test tube because her mother wanted to win a competition. Because Konoha needed another chain to tie him with._

_Sasuke need not know all of this._

Itachi's hand leaves her shoulder.

If he had less self control his feelings for her would be evident, instead his gesture is composed.

He doesn't let contempt cloud his vision because Sasuke's future is more important than everything else.

Besides, like he taught Kabuto, everyone needs a second chance, so they can understand their mistakes and fix them.

_Even the woman who wanted his brother like a little girl wants a beautiful doll._

"You will understand that love is sacrificing everything you have, even your life, for the sake of the other.

Love is leaving the other in someone else's care, if it's for the best. Love is protecting the other against everything and everyone. Even against yourself.

Love is creating a world for that person to be safe."

* * *

Itachi gets up slowly.

"You will know love soon, Haruno Sakura, as it has always been at your side, protecting you from afar, hidden in the darkness. You and your daughter will be safe and loved.

Now stand up. Go meet the reinforcements."

Sakura stands up with shaky legs.

Like a sleep-walker her eyes are open but her look is void, even as she oversteps Sasuke, no longer seeing him.

She will soon be found. She will recover from the mangekyou induced vision in a day or two. She will have a breakdown, but she will be strong for her daughter's sake.

She will be fine.

She is free from her childhood obsession towards someone who would never care about her.

She will see how selfish and shallow she was, and she will be ashamed.

She will be grateful to all the friends who never abandoned her, despite herself.

She will look around and finally see the one who wanted her happiness since the first moment he met her, a young girl with silly dreams.

The one who always watched over her, risking his life for her.

The one who lied to make her feel safe, telling her that everything would be alright even if he knew it wouldn't.

The one who knew she wanted Sasuke and did everything in his power to make her wish come true.

Even if it meant destroying others in the process, no matter if they were his precious students, just like her. Even if it meant ripping out on his heart from his chest and stepping on it.

The one who, knowing too well the pain and misery of growing up alone, would love and cherish her daughter just like his own.

The one who, having known what it's like to be ashamed of his family for no reason, would be happy around hers even if they are not powerful or important.

She will finally be able to give, not only to receive.

She will give her love to him.

She will bring warmth and light into a soul fallen into the darkness after staying too much in the shadows, to protect the village. To protect her.

Her love will prevent Kakashi Hatake to end up like Danzo.

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**Maybe in this chapter some wanted more sex and less speculation, or less Sakura, or more Sakura bashing. I have been "accused" of not hating her enough, of not writing enough smut and of being confusing...I don't agree and I don't care.**_

_**I hate sasusaku, I never liked Sakura that much, but I want my story to be well written, deep, even when I express my disappointment. Character bashing is for hysterical fangirls who can't express their anger /**_

_**I don't write detailed sex on purpose. I prefer focusing on the feelings, memories, and all the intangible things that are connected to sex, more than accurate details that I find /**_

_**I'm not a native English speaker, I'm aware I make mistakes, and I keep finding typos no matter how much I revise my stuff, but I don't consider my writing confusing. I use an external narrator, I switch point of views, the italic parts are thoughts, the rest is the regular story. I abuse on purpose of character's interior monogues, expanding them throughout the events and the actions. I'm not Virginia Woolf so my streams of consciousness is not perfect, and my narration is not the most linear, but I want it to be this way. I imagine my story like scenes in a movie played at different speed: actions, dialogues at normal speed, thoughts and memories at a slower /**_

_**As for the KakashixSakura plot twist...I always liked non-mainstream pairings more than canon-ish ones. They are a nice couple, he would make her happy. And mature, something she needs. My Kakashi has become more and more similar to Danzo, he needs to be saved from the darkness more than anyone, actually.**_

_**On a different note, I plan my stories in advance. I wrote this chapter 2 weeks ago, more or less, and I find hilarious that my story and Gaiden have always some common point. This week it was Karin.**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Warnings: anti ending, anti Konoha, malexmale (****ItachixSasuke, and ****SasukexItachi mentions), incest, violence, dub-con and many triggers that are a part of this fic. See the notes at the end of the chapter for more explanations.**_

* * *

_...I live for you but I'm not alive..._

_(Alice In Chains, Love Hate Love)_

* * *

Itachi insists on washing the blood off in the nearby river. He doesn't want to bring death into their home.

_Even if he is death incarnated._

Sasuke sits by the riverbed, sandals and shin guards off, toes brushing the cold water.

He watches his brother strip off his clothes and bathe without showing any sign of discomfort.

His gestures are minimal and deft. He must have done it many times.

_After every mission. He never showed Sasuke the blood, the wounds, the grim reality that was his life._

_Sasuke was too pure, he didn't have to see how dirty his hands and soul were._

_He did it after the massacre as well._

_When Sasuke passed out he cried all his tears, hugging him tight for the last time._

_Around them there was only death. Bodies everywhere. Below them, only blood. So much of it._

_Above them the moon, pale and cold like his face when he slew them all._

_He was supposed to meet the masked man but after seeing Sasuke's little frame tainted with the blood of their parents he went straight to the river._

_He thought he knew suffering. As a child he had witnessed fear and loss during the war. He had been a tool through all his life. He had seen his best friend commit suicide, trying to prevent this from happening, but it was nothing compared to what he felt that moment._

_It was nothing compared to what he would feel from that moment on._

_Itachi kept telling himself that there wasn't another option. If he hadn't done it the blood on Sasuke's body would have been his own, because his little brother would have been killed._

_Instead, Sasuke would be alive and safe in the village, knowing nothing of discrimination and hate._

_He would keep watching over his brother so that nothing happened to him._

_Itachi loved Konoha and believed in the will of fire, but he knew human nature better than anyone._

_He knew how low humans could fall no matter how noble their ideals were._

_His loyalty wasn't blind –his brother would understand it years later, the moment he slew a team of Konoha shinobi to protect him._

_Waking up in a hospital bedroom, _ _Sasuke didn't imagine that his clothes were bloodstained because Itachi held him close to his chest._

_In his state of unconsciousness he hadn't heard his older brother sobbing, asking for forgiveness, telling him that even he wouldn't be there anymore his heart would always be with him._

_He didn't hear him saying how painful it would be to miss all his important moments. That he regretted not spending more time with him. That he was so busy that he never got the chance to say that his arm should be steadier when throwing shuriken._

_He would learn though; Itachi knew Sasuke would become a great shinobi._

_Hate would motivate him._

_Sasuke didn't feel neither salty tears on his cheeks nor his last words:_

"_The next time you'll see me you will kill me. I'm looking forward to seeing you."_

_Itachi wanted to die by his hands. His death would give Sasuke a new power._

_His death would give his life a purpose._

_Sasuke would purify him then._

"_I love you, little brother."_

_There was blood everywhere on his clothes according to those who found him and took him to the hospital, while their leader, Danzo, was facing Itachi's clone threatening to spill classified information if something was to happen to him, just before disappearing in a flock of crows._

* * *

Itachi comes out of the water, droplets falling from his hair to his taut body. He has goose bumps; the breeze has become colder in the blue-gray dusk.

He dries himself off with his shirt.

The lightest contact between skin and the fabric, crusted with blood.

_He slit their throats. A quick and silent killing, not a clean one._

_As if killing could ever be a clean act._

He is perfect, Sasuke thinks while getting up.

He is the most beautiful creature that has ever existed.

Even when he was fighting and was drenched in blood he looked ethereal like a supernatural creature.

_A deity that is only his to take whenever he wants._

For the first time since they are alone Itachi looks at Sasuke.

_How could he look at him after having killed people again?_

_It's his fault if Sasuke brought him back. If he stayed dead he would have never put Sasuke in trouble in the first place. No shinobi would have gone on a mission to arrest him –to kill him –and no one would have died._

_Itachi also knows that if he stayed dead Sasuke would have been endlessly forced to be someone else, alone among people, but it didn't make him feel less guilty for those deaths, the latest in a long list._

_He swore he would have never killed again, that he would have devoted his new life to healing the wounds that plagued Sasuke's soul, loving him, staying by his side, listening to him like no one ever did._

_Everybody either manipulated or lectured his brother._

_Sasuke wasn't and would never be a tool to dispose of when broken. He would never have the same fate as him._

_Itachi wanted to be a role model because his brother only looked up to him, in good and in bad, but he failed._

_Instead of protecting him he put him in a bigger danger._

There's blood on Sasuke's ankle, probably caused by Tenzo's vine blocking his feet.

_Itachi relives the panic, the adrenaline of the moment the kunai was close, so close, too close to his brother's throat._

_It was the first time he activated Amaterasu on instinct._

_That moment he only thought that no one were to touch his precious brother. _

_It didn't matter if they were from Konoha or not. No one were to touch his precious brother._

_Yamato deserved to die._

_His oath of not killing anymore was a coward way out. A way to feel less guilty._

_As if he could ever feel less guilty anyway. Besides, the reason why he was guilty was to protect the one he loved._

_The one he loves._

_Nothing is more important than Sasuke, be it another life, or his own conscience._

Itachi kneels before his brother to assess the wound. He rips off the cleanest strip of fabric from his shirt and wraps it over the younger's ankle.

"Are you hurt somewhere else?" He asks flatly.

Absentmindedly the other shakes his head. He doesn't care about a stupid wound.

He only cares about his beautiful older brother who's kneeling before him.

_A deity who got rid of his enemies for him._

_The very thought that he truly is more important than the village is exhilarating._

No longer able to control his urge he buries his hands into Itachi's long hair like he always does when he wants his brother to suck him off.

Usually the other complies; this time he brushes his lips against Sasuke's clothed manhood.

The faint contact makes Sasuke's skin burn with desire. He reaches the buttons but Itachi stops him with the quickest motion.

_So quick Sasuke didn't see the movement._

He gets up slowly, gracefully, dismissing Sasuke's push as if he had the force of a child.

_Sasuke suddenly remembers the times when Itachi carried him on his back after training together. He always treated him like a little boy who needed help, no matter how good his academy grades were, and how better he was compared to his classmates._

_Nothing was enough to reach his perfect older brother._

He places his palm on his forehead; not a poke, just a light touch.

"You don't have a fever. It means the vine was not poisoned. Let's head home."

Irritated, Sasuke pulls him closer by his arm and hip.

"I want you now, brother."

His eyes flicker from his brother's perfect features to his legs. The fabric of his pants is red with the traces of the previous events, unlike his bare upper body, thoroughly scraped of every drop of blood he shed.

_Washing it away doesn't mean forgetting. New ghosts will haunt him._

"We have things to discuss, Sasuke. Let's go back."

Itachi pushes slightly against him, to make his point clear. Sasuke raises his voice.

"I am disgusting to you because I betrayed the village, isn't it?"

_His look is angry and hurt. He has been denied what he wanted for so long that he can't stand it anymore._

Itachi silently shakes his head at his brother's words.

"I am the one who betrayed the village."

He mutters without emotion.

_He swore loyalty to this village yet he killed its representatives with no remorse._

_It's Sasuke who should be disgusted of him._

_He is tainted with blood. He is death._

Sasuke reiterates his will.

"I want you, Itachi. I want _this_ you, right here, right now."

"You want a killer"

Itachi states matter-of-factly.

"You killed to protect me".

_It's not the first time. The massacre was to protect him._

Itachi is touched by these words. Sasuke is truly a pure person.

Still, he knows better.

"A killer is still a killer."

_Itachi knows that Sasuke doesn't just want pleasure. He wants acknowledgment of his own importance over the village, again. Of his own power over the merciless monster that slew both his enemies and his family._

_In the recess of the young Uchiha's soul, buried under layers and layers of eternal unconditional love, there still lingers the urge to punish him, that creeps out during sex, where Sasuke's defenses are down and there is no more distinction between conscious and subconscious._

_In those moments Sasuke looks at him but sees his past self. The one Itachi himself conditioned him to see. The merciless clan killer who wanted to test his ability._

_Sasuke marks with bruises, bites and cuts that cruel monster. He wants that impassive murderer to reply with pained broken voice when he screams: "Who's stronger now? Do you feel how strong I've become, niisan? How does it feel to be submitted by your foolish little brother?"_

_Itachi's present self -his real self. The one he has always been. The one who accepted to play a role to keep his beloved alive- accepted everything, humoring him, making him feel strong and powerful, thinking that he deserves worse than that for what he did to him, and for what he shouldn't feel for him._

_But was it right? Didn't it make things worse? Didn't he fail his duty as an older brother, by letting the younger and more inexperienced one dictate all the rules?_

_Didn't this weakness of his make his brother weaker in return, like a spoiled child, instead of making him stronger and confident of his own strength?_

* * *

Sasuke's thumb is heavy with lust and frustration, tracing the contours of the elder's lips and forcefully sticking two fingers in. Itachi licks them.

"You don't realize…."

A shiver runs through the young Uchiha's spine.

Itachi's look is the same as _that night_.

He leans towards Sasuke, closing the distance he previously put.

"Sasuke…be careful what you wish for lest it come true."

His enchanting and frightful voice is the same as _that night_, but this time he purrs into his ear, hot breath burning Sasuke's skin, his nose brushing his brother's cheek as he traces small circles before reaching the younger's lips, capturing him in a long, deep kiss.

He has never kissed him with such dominance. The younger has no other choice but to drown in the slow, unrelenting pace, so different from his own, frantic and desperate like his heart.

_It is always Sasuke who voices his needs, kissing and touching the other. Or torturing him, for his kisses often bite and his caresses often scratch and crush._

_Sometimes Sasuke thinks Itachi is an ethereal creature with no needs, sometimes he's afraid Itachi doesn't want him._

_He doesn't understand that his brother would never initiate anything that he might not want._

_As if Sasuke, who needs him like the air he breathes, could not desire him._

_Yet Itachi feels too guilty, too disgusting to claim him. To taint him. _

_He doesn't deserve pleasure. Sasuke does, he thinks._

_Sasuke deserves to hurt him. Sasuke deserves everything, he thinks._

_Yet what if Sasuke deserves also something else, like freedom from the circle of pain and violence he let him perpetrate?_

_What if the only way to free him is to turn the tables?_

Itachi stops abruptly.

"Are you sure you want a merciless killer, Sasuke?"

_If Sasuke wants the merciless killer he must play by his rules, for he doesn't take orders. He gives them._

* * *

He steps back, gesturing his brother to fight. He doesn't take a fighting stance though, as if he knows he's not going to need it.

It takes a few instants for Sasuke to react after the passionate kiss.

Defiant, he comes at the elder with full force. He's fast, but not enough.

Itachi predicts all his moves; he is not different from their sparring sessions.

It's easy for him to avoid the younger's blows, grabbing his fist and yanking his arm, unbalancing him. When Sasuke reacts he sends him flying on the ground.

_While he's lifted by the arm as if he were a small child, Sasuke realizes how strong Itachi really is. He just witnessed his strength against Konoha shinobi but now that it's directed at him he feels it even more._

Sasuke lands gracelessly.

Before he gets up Itachi is on him, pinning his arms above his head, his look fixed on his brother's.

"This is not a joke. Do you still want the killer, Sasuke?"

Sasuke replies by arching his back to brush Itachi's body.

_He doesn't realize…_

With his free hand Itachi caresses Sasuke's torso, almost shirtless after the fight.

His hand wanders from his pale, toned chest to his hard nipples, that he squeezes and torments.

"Foolish little brother…"

His fingers ghost over his abdomen, feeling the twitching of his muscles.

No matter how hard and toned they may be, they are defenseless against Itachi's fist slamming hard and deep into his stomach. His mouth open like a fish, Sasuke struggles for air but it's useless because the pressure doesn't decrease.

"As you wish, little brother..."

Itachi says darkly.

_You can stop the killer anytime, his eyes say instead, trying to go past Sasuke's memories of other times Itachi hit him in the same way, when he couldn't risk blowing up his cover but his desire to touch him was devouring him so much that his fist had lingered too long on the younger's body, in a twisted caress, or a mocking replacement for penetration, as Kisame remarked after._

_He made sure his partner would never speak about his little brother in that way._

_Especially because he was right. _

_As much as he had hated himself for what he was doing to his brother, a small, dark, shameful part of him craved his brother. As much as he was dying inside while his fist slammed against Sasuke's taut stomach once, twice, three times, the last one with such strength to lift him up, a part of him felt an unthinkable, unforgivable desire. As much as his mind kept justifying as necessary for not blowing his cover and his story, the way he gripped the boy's throat and forced his weight on the younger's injured body, a part of him sent shivers running though his spine as he whispered in Sasuke's ear and breathed his very air._

_Itachi knew he was doomed since he slaughtered his clan, yet that moment he realized that he was destined to fall in an even darker pit of hell._

He bites Sasuke's neck hard enough to draw blood. The younger moans and gasps when he licks it.

Timing is vital for a shinobi. An instant is the only thing that stands between life and death.

Sasuke could throw him on the ground when he lets go of his grip to perform a seal with his free hand.

He does nothing, instead, and he ends up with black stripes crawling down his arms, paralyzing them.

It's Danzo's jutsu: Sasuke released it when he was fueled by hatred and the will to avenge him.

Getting free from the one he loves is a different matter.

_Sasuke tugs at the invisible chains in an almost mechanical way._

_He wants him, despite the obvious discomfort and pain._

_Itachi blames himself if his brother inflicts and accepts violence as if it's normal._

_He blames Konoha for not helping him comprehend the extent of his power and h__e blames himself for everything concerning Sasuke._

_There is no book where his brother can study his acquired Rinnegan with the same accuracy as when he studied snakes and Edo Tensei. There is no one who can teach him either._

_He can only master it directly. __He is smart, he already used it._

_He must use it again and realize he is potentially stronger than Itachi. This is what the elder –the killer –is trying to do. Push him into a corner and make him use it against him, like he already did once._

Itachi's tongue plunges into the younger's mouth just as his fist plunges into his stomach.

_Sasuke could bite his tongue and hit him in the head._

_Instead he moans in his mouth, not caring if his breath is short and labored and his insides are being crushed._

He sighs almost inaudibly when he lets his brother breathe.

"Not even a genin would focus on himself instead of his opponents. You are a disappointment."

He can feel Sasuke's arousal pushing towards his groin. He grinds against it, crushing the younger under his weight.

_How despicable of him to be turned on by the sight of his stunning brother struggling for breath, confused by his actions, hurt by his words, pale, lips swollen from the hard kisses, incapable of discerning pleasure from pain, so self destructively full of love and desire for him that everything else is irrelevant. Even his own safety._

_Itachi feels the same towards him; during their fight he accepted each blow, each wound with the utmost love, seeing the satisfaction in the other's eyes._

_He already gave him his life, but he would let Sasuke stick his sword in him and let him bleed to death again if it meant to make him happy._

Itachi repeats the previous seals.

Everybody knows that chakra is weaker when before activating a jutsu.

It's the perfect opening to push him away but Sasuke is mesmerized. He is unable to think straight, overwhelmed by anticipation and fear and craving of being dominated by _this_ Itachi.

_This is not the Itachi who said he would never punish him as he first took him._

_Sasuke knows he should fight back but he can't, because a voice inside his head tells him that every time he felt powerful for having his brother submitted beneath him it was because said brother let him do it._

_Itachi is still the strongest._

_Itachi is perfect and he can't overpower him._

_He can only submit._

_He only wants to submit anyway._

_He only wants his brother to guide him anyway._

Black strips appear on Sasuke's throat, making him gasp loudly. It's like an invisible hand strangling him.

_If only he could read between his brother's brief pauses he would see that Itachi is giving him time to react. He would understand that Itachi wants to lure his real strength out. __Just like he did in the past._

"You want to be seen as a strong shinobi but you only proved how weak you are. You are nothing but a scared child, hiding behind a mask of arrogance."

Darkness clouds Sasuke's look. He received a hard blow, but his body takes over his feelings, making the killer smirk.

He arches towards Itachi whose lips roam through his abused abdomen, whose tongue dives into his navel then travels south, encircling his shaft.

Sasuke's lust filled moans don't last long because the merciless killer speaks again, in a tone that's cold and eerily seductive at the same time.

_Like a deity playing with a lowly human._

"You lack strategic ability, little brother. Every jutsu has a weakness. Every strategy can be counteracted. I knew exactly what to do, if only you calmed down and followed my lead…"

His words are a poison that will affect his system after the lust is over.

Their eyes locked, Itachi pumps Sasuke's throbbing member, up and down, up and down, slow and steady then faster, faster, until the younger comes with a strangled cry, pearly seed spilling on the elder's hand.

* * *

The pale Uchiha tries to regain composure, to get a hold of his strained tone but it's almost impossible to even his breath with a clasped throat and a racing heart.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

_Hiding the hurt and the fear behind a mask of arrogance._

"The insects."

Says the elder as if he's stating the obvious. With the same attitude he unfastens his pants.

"The insects were the key to disable them. The Aburame shinobi should have been the first one to deal with."

Sasuke can't hide his surprise.

He looks at his brother's hard length and marvels at his incredible mastery of himself: his face is as emotionless as his voice, even when he spreads Sasuke's legs open, testing his flexibility, playing with him as if he were a toy.

_He's not playing; he's biding time for him to react._

_Sasuke is deaf to Itachi's silent pleas, for him to acknowledge his strong chakra and the godlike power granted by the Rinnegan. To free himself from the paralyzing jutsu. To understand that he is capable of anything he wants._

_Sasuke only sees how perfect and strong and aroused Itachi is, and he doesn't care if he is going to be hurt because everything coming from the one he loves is welcome._

_Because the only thing that really hurt is his absence. His indifference._

_It hurt when Itachi said he wasn't even worth killing that time at the inn._

_Sasuke wanted Itachi to pay attention to him; to look at him, to touch him._

_Caress or punch it didn't matter._

_Caress or punch it doesn't matter._

* * *

Itachi's fingers are sleek as they scissor him.

"You have the ability to travel through dimensions. If you brought the Aburame with you the insects would have lost their connection to their master. Not sensing him anymore they would have been disoriented and no longer able to counteract our chakra. My genjutsu would have been effective against the whole team, while you would have incapacitated the insect user."

Sasuke can't suppress a muffled scream when he is roughly penetrated.

_Sasuke didn't care about roles but something –an addiction to Itachi's body, the always lingering rage, the ever present insecurity –made him more than often take the active role._

_He needed to control everything, all the time._

_Besides, Itachi never rebelled against his dominance._

_Now that he is being dominated though, he maybe knows why. Letting the other do what he wants, submitting to each and every one of his desires, is like an offering to a deity. It's almost mystical, and the more Itachi talks, the stronger he becomes, the more Sasuke submits, revelling in his strength. _

_He would let him do anything, if the elder wanted._

"No blood would have been spilled. They would have come back to Konoha with fake memories. Alive. And you would be safe, no longer bound to them."

Itachi stays still, inside him, letting him adjust to his intrusion, silently fighting against the lust and the rage and the pain that are threatening to explode and turn him into the merciless beast he's pretending to be in order to push Sasuke to react and use his true potential.

When he starts moving his self control is already dwindling; behind the cold emotionless mask a spark of burning anger arises.

"But it didn't happen."

"Those deaths could have been avoided. All of them."

"With your ability you should have sensed Tenzo's presence long before he pointed a kunai at you."

Itachi's thrusts deeply into him, the fear of losing his little brother biting at him again.

_Sasuke can't see how his hands are shaking._

"Now they are dead."

"They are all dead."

"You could have been killed"

"You would have let him kill you"

Itachi's hard cock rams into Sasuke, fucking him hard, making him see stars from the pain, but he doesn't mind. For him everything is allowed during sex, and pain is only part of the sensations.

Pleasure, enhanced by the lack of oxygen, is so intense that he is hard again.

Besides, it's not that the pain that hurt him the most.

It's the words, cold and reproaching, describing his flawless strategy.

It's Itachi's air, detached, too far from him, when they should be one.

By the time he comes and his brother allows himself the same_ –A guttural moan, his eyes closed. When he opens them they're shiny with tears that refuse to fall– _the merciless killer façade has cracked and Sasuke is aware of how bad the other feels.

_He thinks it's about the shinobi he had to kill, he doesn't understand that Itachi lost it when he saw Yamato's kunai pointed at his throat._

_He hasn't understood what just happened was supposed to mean._

Sighing, Itachi releases the jutsu. The black markings disappear.

Sasuke props himself up on both elbows, coughing.

His brother is already standing, still far away from him even if his words are no longer blades that pierce his heart.

"Sasuke, you don't understand your immense potential. It was not your fault. You have been discouraged to use it because people feared you. Nevertheless it became your fault when you ignored it even being far from Konoha. It became my fault too, because I didn't encourage you enough."

Sasuke stands up feeling dizzy. He reaches Itachi, to face him.

_Itachi wouldn't want to look at him after having defiled him._

_He should have stopped when he realized that Sasuke was too pure, too loving to react against him, but he succumbed to his lower instincts._

_He told himself that he had to be rough to shake him but in truth he had no justification. He hurt his little brother. He tortured him. He took him with animalistic brutality and he enjoyed every moment of it. He released the jutsu in a last desperate attempt to let him react but it didn't happen and instead of stopping because his plan had failed he continued pounding him and crushing his throat and sadistically playing with his breath, enjoying every single moment while hating himself for it._

"The power you have been granted makes you almost as strong as a god, Sasuke, and no one is a threat to a god, therefore a god does not need to kill. A god can use his power for good. To help, instead of destroying."

Itachi looks at his brother, no longer menacing but distant, disappointed.

_He is disappointed of himself. Once again he failed to be a good role model._

_He failed to bring out his potential._

_He failed to protect Sasuke, from enemies and from himself._

"Look at me. I was dead but you brought me back. You are a creator, not a destroyer. So don't ignore your real strength anymore."

Sasuke opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out, and his brother continues.

"Do not doubt my loyalty, Sasuke. I am yours. I have always been yours."

His tone is even, devoid of passion.

_Disappointed at his failed attempt of helping his brother. Disappointed at his own selfish needs satisfied so brutally._

Itachi starts walking.

"Once we'll get home I'll accept any punishment you see fit."

His words are those of a slave, his demeanor is that of a king.

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**This chapter may be controversial for hardcore Sasuita shippers. Itachi is a pacifist, he lived for Sasuke and sacrificed everything for him, so a common headcanon is that he is an asexual martyr in bed too.**_

_**(by the way I consider Itachi asexual EXCEPT with Sasuke, just as I consider Sasuke asexual EXCEPT for Itachi.)**_

_**I had the martyr headcanon too until I saw the fight against Kabuto, then I started seeing his character differently. He is a leader, a dominant person. A pacifist but a fighter, and Sasuke who's a normally domineering person, totally accepted Itachi's lead.**_

_**Also, Sasuke acts in an arrogant and domineering way but I see him as a slightly passive person in relationships.**_

_**My idea of Sasuita is now different. To me this dynamic is not meant to last. It implies that Itachi is stronger and willingly submits to Sasuke who needs to be in control, but if needs be Itachi can be very dominant.**_

_**Even forceful. After all he was forceful, even though for a precise reason. I think that after an initial moment where he lets Sasuke do what he wants, he would return to his non passive, non weak self and "submit" Sasuke. Also because he would know that Sasuke would accept the submission because he accepts Itachi's role. Because he doesn't really want to lead. He wants Itachi to lead instead. He wants Itachi to show his dominance, his strength, because he respects, admires and loves strength, and he respects, admires and loves Itachi.**_

_**Also, I disliked Itasasu for the fanfic dynamics. Mostly Itachi is possessive and jealous, and vain, while Sasuke too stereotypical uke-ish. I think that Sasuke is naive in a different way, and Itachi is protective, to the point of being harsh, but not possessive. Anyway I can see Sasuke "submitting" to Itachi in this kind of dynamics. He respects force, and he respects his brother. Therefore, erasing typical stereotypes, I like Itasasu.**_

_**This is just my opinion about them, everyone has their own so what's IC for me might be OOC for others, and I don't really mind because it's my story and to me it makes perfect sense. Before reviewing consider this. Consider also that my English is not native level, and that maybe your comprehension is not native level either.**_

_**In case it isn't clear Itachi is not angry with Sasuke for those deaths. He is angry at himself for not having been able to keep Sasuke safe (and calm, so he could have carried on his own plan). He is worried because Sasuke doesn't unerstand how strong he can be with the Rinnegan, and he wants to put him in a situation of danger where he has to use it, like the time he made Orochimaru come out of the cursed seal..kind of.**_

_**so he acts like the Itachi that Sasuke thought he was before knowing the truth. The only flaw of his plan is that Sasuke doesn't perceive violence the same way Itachi would like him to perceive it and things don't go as he planned..**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Warnings: anti ending, anti Konoha, incest mentions (ItachixSasuke).**_

_**This is maybe my favourite chapter so far.**_

* * *

_"He said to lose my life or lose my love_

_That's the nightmare I've been running from"_

_(White Lies, To Lose My Life)_

* * *

How nostalgic for Sasuke to walk behind Itachi, watching his back and wishing to close the gap between them.

He hasn't reached him yet, neither in intelligence nor in strength.

He is still the kid staring in awe at his perfect older brother.

What Itachi said was true: keeping one's emotions under control was a basic ability that even genin had, while he had acted on instinct, not thinking at all.

That morning, when he had sensed the squad approaching _–enhanced Rinnegan sensing. He used that sometimes –_ an idea had struck him. Taking Itachi to the cherry blossom grove and waiting for them to come.

He had hoped that Naruto would have been there. He had hoped that Itachi would have spoken to his former best friend who countless times had used his name as a trap.

Sasuke had wanted to prove him wrong once and for all.

It was childish and unbecoming for someone who had wanted to revolutionize the whole shinobi system and control it from the shadows for eternity, yet he needed to show that his brother didn't want him to live a life he never wanted.

He had thought that facing the truth about whom Sasuke loved and was loyal to, the Hokage would have understood. He didn't care about other people's approval, but for once, at least in the happiest time of his life now that he had his beloved brother and soulmate beside him, he wanted to be understood and left in peace.

There could have been a fight but he knew he would have won this time. Itachi and his freedom were at stake.

He should have known that Naruto wouldn't have been there; he was always so busy that he only left Konoha for official meetings, even if he had brilliant minds such as Shikamaru as his right hand and Kakashi as his counselor. Besides, he had set up a retrieval mission to arrest him. To kill him.

_Sasuke still ignores what Itachi has already understood, that it's Kakashi, not Naruto, who ordered Yamato's mission._

He should have realized that he was stronger than the bunch of useless shinobi that had defied them, but when they had disrespected Itachi all the pent up pain and anger had blasted, clouding his reason.

Sasuke had wanted to defend his brother from them. They were unworthy of talking or fighting him.

They used counter sharingan tricks obtained manipulating his obedience.

_It was his fault that they were able to disrespect Itachi's strength._

Surrounded by enemies, with no way to use genjutsu, he had wanted to destroy everything and everyone.

When he had thought his brother would have chosen Konoha again he had wanted to be destroyed.

He had felt relieved, proud, loved, when Itachi had chosen him.

For Sasuke those deaths were inevitable. It was either them _–his former wife included –_or his freedom.

He would have never come up with Itachi's strategy even if he considered himself a capable planner.

He had started planning when he was just a child. He wanted to enter Konoha Military Police Force; Itachi had told him that only the strongest shinobi could deal with crimes committed by other shinobi.

He dreamt to become strong, make his father proud, work side by side with his big brother.

To make his dream come true he had trained and studied hard.

Back then he ignored that he would have ended up in the police anyway because the Uchiha clan couldn't do anything else.

Tobirama had given them what he considered to be an important task. He had hoped that their eyes would have given them a better insight on people, that their will to protect their loved ones would have been spread through the whole village, but despite his good intentions the clan had felt emarginated whilst Konoha had begun considering them arrogant elitists.

His childhood plan had crumbled with the massacre.

He never showed his despair in front of others. He cried and screamed his weakness to the walls of his old house, to the empty streets, to the lake.

In the compound that had been his home he had formulated his second plan. To kill his brother and avenge the clan.

He had trained and trained to become stronger. Nothing could have stopped him. Not his team mates, not his sensei, not the gap between his strength and Itachi's.

Not even the fear of what would happen once he gave his body to Orochimaru.

Everything would end with Itachi's death anyway, after that nothing would matter.

The truth about Itachi had wiped out his second plan.

Being told that everything his brother had done was to keep him alive, knowing the pain he had suffered, the sacrifices he had made for him, to the point of letting his foolish little brother have his revenge to give him a new power and prestige as a hero, had forced him back to a life that should have ended.

He _had to_ avenge Itachi and destroy Konoha, but meeting him had wrecked his third plan.

Like his brother had done when he was only a child, Sasuke had sought knowledge; once obtained it he had decided to defend the loathed system from the enemy, then to destroy it and build a new one.

_They had told him that his revolution was crazy, that the subsequent killings would have been a criminal act but why? To build something new the old must be destroyed._

_Some deaths were inevitable if they wanted a new world. They would all have been sacrifices to a righteous future. They would all be offerings to his precious brother._

_Not unlike his clan had been a sacrifice to Konoha's safety and a sacrifice to the hateful elders._

He had no plan after the battle with Naruto, after the guilt trip, after everything happened _after_.

His life was meaningless, empty.

He had no purpose until he had come up with an ambitious idea. Reviving his brother.

When Itachi asked him about what his future projects he used to avoid replying.

Living together was already his future project. It was like a dream come true.

A dream that had become Itachi's worst nightmare.

His brother hated violence. His strategy was flawless but the younger's emotional frenzy had forced him to react accordingly.

He had grown up but his incompetence was much worse than when he had insisted to hunt the giant boar with Itachi. Back then the elder wanted to hurt the animal so that it would be scared and flee, but Sasuke had failed in his task and he had been forced to kill it.

Such a smart, caring, strong _–perfect –_being like Itachi wasn't supposed to spend his whole existence fixing Sasuke's mess.

* * *

When they arrive home Itachi doesn't speak nor come inside.

_He failed in handling Sasuke's crisis. He failed in being a role model._

_He let his violence come out freely, trying to atone for his sins, but he had only disoriented the boy, then he used violence to let his Rinnegan come out but all he managed to do was confuse and hurt him._

_He has to speak with his brother, explain him, fix everything. Fix him._

_Yet, he just needs a little time alone._

Leaning against the window Sasuke watches him watching the stars.

They do it often; sitting in that very spot Itachi points at the constellations and recounts their legends.

Sasuke remembers some of them since their childhood. They had the same stargazing habit the few times there were no missions the day after.

Once he said that Kaguya came from another planet. Itachi replied that it was fascinating as it meant that humanity descended from the stars as well.

Kaguya told him that he wasn't as smart as his brother.

Sasuke didn't believe in gods but she was right about this.

Itachi is unique. He isn't.

He is just a failure who can't handle himself, who puts in danger the one he loves.

Outside, Itachi blames him of the same faults.

Inside, Sasuke smiles. He has an eerie look while his hands form a seal he hasn't used since the last time he left.

* * *

One of the first symptoms of Itachi's illness was feeling dizzy when he woke up.

That sensation is so ingrained in him that it takes a few moments to remember he is no longer ill _–he isn't even alive, technically._

Sasuke made sure his body was perfectly healthy.

Like every other Edo Tensei, his body and abilities were the same as when he died, only without such limitations as pain or sickness.

Being a great mind and not just a fighter, Sasuke improved this jutsu _–he wanted his brother back, no matter how hard it was –_so that he had no black sclera but a natural white one; so that he felt every bodily sensation.

Not just pain but pleasure, forgotten after years of constant pain, after an excessive training that had numbed him.

_He wasn't supposed to feel anything. He was supposed to be a tool._

His Edo Tensei body has no scars, not because Sasuke wouldn't love them _–he would love each and every single one –_but because his brother ignored their existence or lack of.

On the contrary, he didn't ignore that people may grow even past 21 years.

His Edo Tensei body was a few inches taller.

_Their height difference was still the same as before._

* * *

Itachi has no time for speculating. He has to wake up.

He and Sasuke must devise what to do.

Their cabin is sealed undetectable. His genjutsu was flawless and Sakura incredibly weak.

There's no reason to fear that she will remember the truth.

_Her feelings for Sasuke were weak too. She will be surprised when she will experience how strong are real ones._

Nevertheless, they can't stay here. Soon the news about Sasuke's and the squad's deaths will be disclosed in the village first then forwarded to the other villages.

The whole shinobi alliance will be alerted of an unknown threat.

It's safer for Sasuke to move.

* * *

Something bothers him. Something is different.

The thin ray of light that enters from the tightly shut curtains is not enough to understand the time.

Everything is dark, but his left side vision is even darker, and his left eye stings.

It doesn't matter; he has to get up. Sasuke needs him more than ever.

_He has to explain him why he inflicted violence on him. He has to tell him that it was for him to acknowledge his strength, but also that despite not wanting to go all the way he succumbed to the urge to possess him._

_That his body was so enticing that he was not able to control himself._

_He has to ask him forgiveness._

A warm weight is resting on his left shoulder.

_Why hasn't he already sensed it? Why is he feeling so light headed?_

Sasuke is right beside him, face buried behind his shoulder, arm wrapped around his waist.

_His little brother, always afraid that he might leave him alone._

After what he did he is still there, beside him. He doesn't deserve such a loving and pure soul, Itachi muses, raising his hand _–why is it so heavy –_caressing his mane with infinite tenderness _–why does he feel so clumsy? –_muttering gentle words _–why does his voice come out cranky and his throat is dry? – _to wake him up.

He used to do it during their childhood, when Sasuke came to his room and watched him polish his weapons, only to fall asleep with his head in his lap.

Itachi had to wake him up but the little boy slept so peacefully that he didn't have the heart to insist and he had to carry him to his room still asleep in his arms.

* * *

Sasuke doesn't wake up. _Maybe it's too early._

Itachi feels weird. He must wash his face, drink some water, talk to Sasuke, plan the future.

He leaves the bed being careful not to wake his brother up.

_His brother who mumbles "niisan" in his sleep like he did when he was just a child._

He doesn't expect having to brace himself on the bed and wait for his legs to be sturdier.

He doesn't expect to stumble, his vision blurred, nausea getting stronger at each step towards the window.

He deeply inhales the fresh air as he opens the curtains.

It's not early in the morning. In fact it's afternoon.

And his left eye is bandaged.

He has no time to formulate a hypothesis. Sasuke is stirring.

"Niisan…"

The light must have woken him up.

"Niisan no! You can't be up yet."

Itachi doesn't fully understand his brother's words.

There's a dark stain on the bed.

Sasuke's left eye is haphazardly bandaged. The gauze is messy, blood has seeped through.

Under the red stains Sasuke looks pale.

* * *

The younger gets up carefully.

"You have to rest some more. The anesthetic will wear off soon."

He leans on bed and furniture to move around.

_He seems used to it…_

Itachi would rush to check on Sasuke and ask for an explanation but the giddiness _–for what his body feels, for what he sees –_is so strong that in order to not collapse on the ground he must stay still, mute, astounded.

Sasuke's voice is lower than usual, and more strained.

"I thought a lot about the things you said the other day."

_The other day; a vague statement implying that more than one day has passed since they encountered the retrieval squad. Since he behaved like a beast and damaged his brother, who spent the following days thinking about what he told him, suffering because of him._

_Acting desperate and reckless because of him._

"I told myself that I would bring you back because I had to hear from you what you wanted me to do with my life, but the truth was that I only wanted you back. I only wanted to live with you, to see you every day, just as I imagined it would have been."

_When Sasuke was a child he never imagined that sooner or later Itachi would have married some Uchiha woman, had children, lead the clan. That he too would have chosen a girl, worked, went on with his life. Such details didn't exist. In child Sasuke's mind only he and his precious brother existed._

_He hasn't changed much: in adult Sasuke's mind only he and his precious brother exist._

He takes Itachi by the hand, more gently he would expect, and guides him towards the mirror.

_His hands are perfectly clean. The blood is only on his face._

"This time spent together…I have never been happier in my whole life, brother. Even if I knew you had no choice but to stay with me because ending your life would have meant ending mine as well."

It's not the first time that Sasuke stands behind him in front of the mirror. Usually he watches his brother's reflection and touches him, getting more and more aroused at the sight. This time though, his fingers are delicate like feathers on crystal as he removes the bandages.

"I am giving you something you never had, brother."

Itachi's sharingan-red eye is slightly reddened and swollen.

_This feeling, familiar and foreign at the same time..._

Sasuke activates his sharingan.

Itachi's eyes automatically activate themselves too. But they're not what they used to be.

His left eye is purple, with a ripple pattern and six tomoe.

Sasuke gave his Rinnegan to Itachi.

He gave back to his brother one of his eyes that he had been transplanted after his death, enriched by an immense power.

"I am giving you freedom."

_Itachi has never been free, but neither has Sasuke, whose entire life has revolved around him, whether it was under dark hate or the light of love, like a planet orbiting around his sun._

"For once you can choose what to do with your life."

Sasuke's fingers ghost over his back, as if he wanted to hug him but he held back.

"I realized I can't force you to stay with me. Or to stay alive. Now you can release Edo Tensei."

The young Uchiha notices the elder's look. He inhales deeply and straightens his back

"Don't worry about me. You freed me from Konoha. I'll be fine."

_His eyes say the opposite. He will wander, again. He will be free from a marriage without love, a village that exploited him and comrades that manipulated him, but he will be once more alone._

_Itachi never wanted such loneliness for him. He wanted him to be surrounded by friends and comrades, respected and cherished like he deserved._

Itachi musters his strength, focusing on his breathing and chakra flow. Once they're stabilized he speaks with a tired, cracked voice.

"Foolish little brother. Why?"

_He could have just released the jutsu and set him free._

_Why giving him that power as well?_

_Itachi knows though. He is the only one._

_Nevertheless, Sasuke needs to voice his thoughts out loud, no matter how painful it will be for Itachi to hear them, for each of them will make his heart churn with guilt._

His little brother has performed a difficult operation all by himself.

He implanted his Rinnegan eye in him and only after he was sure that the operation was successful he implanted the spare eye on himself.

The different level of care for the two operations is undeniable.

Sasuke's better tolerance to the anesthetic meant he used less on himself than on Itachi so he could be able to watch him.

Itachi's gauze is pristine, meaning frequent changes, endless watches, utmost concern.

Sasuke's is bloodied, unchanged since who knows how long. His hair, his clothes, his face, everything is a mess.

Everything but his hands, to take care of his beloved brother.

"That was your eye, brother. I just gave it back to you."

The younger Uchiha looks at him with a surprised expression, as if he didn't expect to be questioned. Or talked to.

"I trained hard to become strong…to become like you. My powers, my abilities, are the ones I worked for. I never wanted this power."

_This was given to me during a war I fought only to save the village you loved, brother._

_This was given to me to protect the same corrupted system that I wanted to destroy to rebuild a better one, in memory of your sacrifice._

"Hashirama gave it to me because he had no other option. If you had been there he would have chosen you, not me."

_Sasuke felt so proud when the God of Shinobi said Itachi was amazing._

"I am not a creator. I'll never be. I brought _you_ back because to me _you_ are the only one. I don't care about the rest of the world."

_The world could be burnt to ashes and I wouldn't care because you are the only one that matters._

"I am not a creator. I am a destroyer."

_An avenger._

_A missing-nin, a fugitive._

_A lover._

_A brother._

"You are smarter and wiser than me. You see the truth about everything and everyone. You see their potential, I only see annoyances. You gave Kabuto a second chance, I would have killed him.

You are a better creator than I'll ever be."

_How ironic to be called creator when he is death incarnated, even if there is no trace of irony in Sasuke's words. His brother, so pure, so loving, really sees him as a perfect being despite what he did to him._

Sasuke takes a step back. His reflection leaves the mirror. It's just one step but Itachi feels a sudden sense of emptiness.

_Sasuke feels the same way but he can't be close to his beloved brother, he can't feel his warmth, he can't have any physical contact with him, or he won't be able to let him go._

"You want to know why I gave it to you? Because you deserve it. I don't."

"I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve you."

He slightly raises his voice, to sound like his eye is not hurting so much that he feels as if his skull is about to explode, and his heart is not breaking in a thousand pieces knowing at the thought of losing his brother.

_He has to be an adult, he has to be mature and selfless like his perfect big brother, who preferred leaving him in the village to grant him safety._

_He must set Itachi free. He can't force him to stay._

_He knows he should thank him for the time they spent together._

_He played countless times in his head this moment, while he was watching over him, caressing his hair and whispering his love and his will to make him happy and proud at last._

_Why is it so hard to say farewell then? He already told him once, after the fight with Kabuto, and he was in indescribable pain as well but it was nothing compared to this moment._

_It's harder because they have lived together. They have loved each other openly and sincerely._

_He can't back down now; there is one more thing he must tell him._

_One thing and Itachi will be free._

_One thing and Sasuke will be alone._

Sasuke turns too fast for someone who is recovering from surgery. He must lean on the door frame so his head won't spin.

"No matter what you'll choose to do…no matter what you'll do from now on. I will always love you."

_It's his turn to say the same words Itachi told him. The same words he cherished for so long._

_Words that give him strength and break his heart at the same time._

The young Uchiha is about to leave the room when Itachi grabs his arm.

The dizziness is gone. Sasuke is more important than his health anyway.

"You deserve everything, Sasuke."

Emotion cracks his voice. Without loosening his grip he turns his brother around.

He is a young adult now but to Itachi Sasuke is still his little brother, especially now that he is so, so pale and messy and helpless.

He stares at him for a moment_ –his eye, a pit of desperation. The bandaged one, an endless pit of love –_then he averts his gaze. Itachi gently lifts his chin and turns his face towards him.

"I had no choice until you were born. The moment I saw you, so small, so helpless, so pure, I decided to protect you with my life. There is nothing I wouldn't have done to keep you alive and safe. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, Sasuke. You are the light of my life. You have always been."

_The moment Itachi saw Sasuke for the first time was an epiphany. Before he thought that reality was harsh and sad, made of training, rules, silence, war, blood, pain. Then he saw him, a little bundle in Mikoto's arms, so small and yet able to make stern Fugaku look happy._

_He carefully approached his mother and father –he was always careful, as if he were to strike or be stricken, because that's what happened in war –and he saw him. A round puffy face, rosy cheeks, black hair._

_The portrait of innocence._

_Despite being aware that he was going to have a sibling, seeing him was more intense and meaningful than everything he had seen. His mere existence was the proof that there were wonderful things in life._

_Things worth fighting for. Things worth protecting. Things worth dying for._

_The toddler opened his big eyes and looked at him, lifting the tiniest hand and touching his face._

_That moment Itachi stopped being the emotionless killing machine the clan needed and Konoha wanted him to be, and became a protector._

_He became a brother._

A single tear falls from Sasuke's eye. Itachi wipes it gently, as if he used to do when his little brother tried to walk but fell face first on the ground.

_His little brother, the one who chased him throughout all his life, who brought him back from the dead, who loves him to the point of harming himself, of giving up to a godlike power and give it to him._

_Itachi knows Sasuke's heart; he knows how hard it is for someone so possessive, so needy of him, so passionately and madly in love with him, to let him go._

_He also knows that the young Uchiha's love is not just that. It's deep and faceted like a prism under the sun, radiating lights of different color. Clear blues as his admiration for him. Blood-red hues as the fear and anger and desire to kill him after the massacre. Susanoo's purple, and Amaterasu's black as the wrath and urge to destroy everything and everyone that made Itachi suffer. Melancholic greens as the sadness and regret he felt when he remembered the long gone past. Bright golds as the determination to bring him back. Dark stains of jealousy and possessiveness that melt, like every color, into an all-embracing white, pure like Sasuke's soul, a clean slate that has been painted with sad gray colors for too long._

_A clean slate that is now white as the purest love._

_Sasuke doesn't even realize how selfless his act was; there was no need to give him his Rinnegan._

_He followed his feelings –feelings that no one else was lucky enough to receive but him–and gave Itachi a part of himself._

_Even if he already gave him his heart._

Itachi takes Sasuke inside the room. He lets him sit on the bed. Exhaustion and pain are too strong for him to listen while standing.

The elder kneels in front of him to remove his bandage. His voice is as soft as his movements.

"Our bond is not just the jutsu that tied your blood to mine. It is not just the eyes that passed from me to you and to me, again."

The gauze is hard to pull out because the blood has crusted.

Sasuke flinches slightly and Itachi moves slower. He caresses the younger's hair to distract him, before peeling away the last layer, the hardest.

"Our bond is not just our common Uchiha blood. All these are parts of our bond, but they're not our bond. Our bond is greater than its single parts. Our bond is the love that we share."

He gently squeezes the other's hands, looking at him with love, and care, and gratitude, not just for the Rinnegan but for everything else.

_For existing. For having been born. For having brought light and hope in his dark, sad world._

* * *

Itachi leaves for a moment, gesturing Sasuke to stay there.

He comes back with a basin and a piece of cloth. Kneeling again he cleans his brother's face with lukewarm water that becomes reddish from the blood. Sasuke's words come out naturally, naively, almost as a pouting, as if he were a child.

"I didn't want to be a god. You are perfect. You are a god, brother."

Itachi smiles. A sweet smile, a shy smile.

"I am far from perfect, Sasuke."

_You are, my sweet pure brother._

"I don't deserve the unconditional love and trust you put in me. Yet you gave me so much. You bestowed me your Rinnegan. You defied everything for me: the village, Madara, a goddess, even death. You loved me, as flawed as I am."

Itachi's tone becomes solemn.

"I will honor your gift, your trust, your love. I am yours. I have always been yours but now you have the ultimate proof. There is no jutsu tying me to you, yet I will never leave you."

Sasuke is overwhelmed.

By feelings, for he never expected Itachi to stay.

By fatigue and pain: his eye is so swollen he can't open it properly but he doesn't seem to mind.

By now he is used to that kind of discomfort and the constant throbbing.

Itachi touches his brother's forehead then he brushes the agonizing area with the tip of his fingers. The younger groans; he is feverish from an infection caused by the poor after care.

The elder reassures him.

"I will honor your gift. I will do my best to use this power for good."

Red eye and one purple eye activate. Light chakra comes out from his fingertips, healing his precious one from the infection, soothing his agony, cherishing his battered heart.

He seems to have been born with that power. Sasuke looks at him in awe, just like when he was a child.

Itachi is really the one who deserved the Rinnegan. Not him.

* * *

After the healing process is over the older Uchiha handles a glass of water and a pill to Sasuke, who stubbornly shakes his head.

"You refuse to obey, Sasuke? Have you forgotten how strong you made me?"

Itachi says, softly joking at his brother's antics.

_Sasuke gave up to a power that made him stronger than him. He gave him the lead on his very self, on his life, on their lives, just like he accepted to be led during the fight against Kabuto._

Despite his tiredness the younger smirks, swooping his bangs on his left eye to temporarily avoid sunlight. He opens his mouth slightly, revealing his white teeth and his pink tongue.

_A couple of months before he had flu; nothing that some medicine and a good sleep wouldn't cure, but Sasuke refused to take anything because a strong shinobi didn't need such useless luxuries. Therefore, Itachi took the pill and a little water in his mouth. Gently but firmly he pushed the sick boy against the wall and held his face, caressing his neck and jaw, nibbling at his lower lip. When the younger opened his mouth the elder passed him the medicine in the most sensual way._

Itachi puts the pill in his mouth and sips some water. He traces Sasuke's lips with his thumb.

Both brothers close their eyes as the liquid goes from mouth to mouth.

The younger tugs the elder's arm.

He wants more but his body is too exhausted.

_He wants his older brother, his strong older, to kiss him again, to lick and bite him, to ravage him, to mark his body just like he marked his soul, because he belongs to Itachi too, even if he didn't say it, even if the words fail him._

He doesn't resist when he is being laid down. The elder lies next to him, kissing his cheek and caressing him tenderly, coaxing him to rest and whispering:

"I will do anything to make you happy, Sasuke."

Sasuke mumbles, smiling lightly, before giving away to sleep:

"I just want my older brother."

He doesn't need to specify that he wants him as a lover too. And a friend, and a counselor, and a comrade.

Itachi knows the younger doesn't care about words and definitions.

To him they are brothers and they love each other.

Everything else is irrelevant.

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**Some time ago I was writing a post war Itasasu/Sasuita fic where the system wasn't perfect and didn't treat Sasuke exactly well, but he had his friends and comrades trying to defend him somehow. Then the fight between Naruto and Sasuke started and I imagined that the ending would have done Sasuke absolutely no justice at all I started writing a one shot where he didn't get any of it, and he became slowly crazy, so that everyone shunned him, even the girls (in my ideas Sakura always moves on!), until he was able to revive Itachi. It was a short dark fic and Sasuke was going to be really crazy in it, because I think that he wasn't crazy before, but he could have become if he didn't obtain justice for Itachi and the clan.**_

_**Then the ending came out and he really didn't have it, and I decided to write a longer, better fic. I planned it in detail, but seeing it written and uploaded it's better.**_

_**I'm glad I changed my initial idea.**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Warnings: anti ending, anti Konoha, Kakasaku, Itasasu.**_

* * *

_Turn your life to happiness_

_Turn your tears from sorrow._

_(Ikon, In Trust I Return)_

* * *

The brothers' journey is long and unhurried.

_Arriving is not important. Traveling together is._

Time tiptoes fast.

Or slow, they can't tell. Time is relative, just like space.

They could move faster if they wanted. Itachi could bend space, jump through dimensions, go anywhere, but there is no point of doing it, when the world is full of wonderful sights, smells, sounds, animals and plants, habits and foods they can experience and admire together.

Both of them traveled for most of their lives without seeing anything, for their eyes and hearts were not living in the here and now. They had goals to achieve, important goals, goals of hate, goals of love.

This time they are not hiding their true selves, they are not following someone or escaping.

They can stop by and enjoy every sight.

On rare times they use henge to travel unnoticed. Their doujutsu is better; in the past Itachi entered Konoha undetected, walked its streets at daylight, stopped by a dango shop.

_Heard Kakashi mention his little brother; hiding the strong feelings of regret and longing that clenched his heart behind a curtain of pragmatic thoughts._

_Sasuke was alive, safe, he was being trained, he was being treated to eat by his sensei._

_It was the best he could have given him._

_It was the reason he had come back, to make sure Danzo hadn't forgotten his promise._

He uses Rinnegan on Sasuke as well, not wanting him to use all his chakra if he has such power.

At the end of the day he is exhausted though, even if he is able to activate and deactivate it at will.

That's why they resort to transformation jutsu.

Sometimes they enter a new village as females.

_Two kunoichi, two sisters, walking hand in hand. The taller one is gentle and soft spoken but her demeanor is regal. The other one is cocky and blunt but she seems uncomfortable with herself._

Other times Itachi, whose features have been forgotten in this new world order, chooses not to change but he turns Sasuke into a girl.

_The pouting young woman leaning on his arm is shorter than his brother and her body is softer._

_The elder is extremely protective of this Sasuke, whose embarrassment and grumpiness are endearing, in his eyes._

A few times it is Itachi who turns into a woman.

_It's hard to keep Sasuke from picking up fights with those who look at this Itachi in a lewd, disrespectful way._

For them henge is not just a jutsu to disguise themselves. It's the way they learn that they love each other no matter what they are. The proof that in their eyes the other is the most beautiful being, no matter the appearance.

* * *

They learn to communicate using dialects and languages of the places they visit. They pick the basics through their sharingan, the rest is one of the many interesting experiences they share.

Despite being a private person, Itachi's people skills are surprising, for Sasuke. They are not unexpected though, and not just because he is perfect in everything he does.

Even though he was strong and smart he was always polite and respectful, never arrogant or rude.

Not with Konoha elders who deserved nothing, not with fellow Akatsuki members, not with curious villagers and chatty eatery owners.

Unlike him, Sasuke never respected age or authority, only strength.

He always hated talking to strangers and engaging in small talk.

Sometimes he is jealous of Itachi patiently listening ear to old folks' endless stories, mothers complaining about their sons or daughters ranting about this and that.

Then he understands something.

Team 7, Taka, even Orochimaru; they all talked to him. It was him who avoided them.

_His mind was full of future goals, his heart full of pain. Itachi was both._

_Itachi was the only one who mattered._

Itachi would have been a wonderful diplomat. Or a leader, strong and loved by his people. Instead he had been trained to be a shinobi, he had entered Anbu, he had become a rogue nin, he had acted like a villain among villains.

Shunning others was his job. It meant safety.

_Not his safety but Konoha's, and most of it all, Sasuke's._

Old people reminded him of the grandmothers and grandfathers in their clan.

Middle aged women reminded him of their mother.

Normal people talking to him about petty matters reminded him that he, too, was a human being, not a killing machine.

_Not anymore._

_Not in this life._

* * *

They spend the cold and rainy seasons in small inns or rented rooms, where often the landlady is a motherly woman who spoils them with delicious food and embarrassing questions.

_Sasuke replies with grunts at first then he opens up a little, almost engaging in the discussions his brother is always dragged into. He, too, is reminded of their mother._

During warm seasons they often sleep in the open, surrounded by trees, lulled by the burbling of a stream nearby, protected by the stars above.

Be it a cozy bedroom or a cave every place is comfortable. It's each other's company that makes everything special, new and familiar at the same time.

Every place is special in its own peculiar way.

For Itachi, experiencing war as a child, haunted by horrific memories, plagued by disease and blindness, it's a relief to be finally able to express admiration for the beauty of the world.

For Sasuke, whose only thoughts about beauty had occurred when he looked at his brother, for whom everywhere was sad and hostile, it's a strange feeling.

At times it overwhelms him, urging him to stop, his gaze fixed upon what catches his attention.

Itachi understands that the younger is embarrassed for those unknown emotions.

He approaches him with just a few words –once he quoted a piece of poetry he read in his past life, overwhelmed by the beauty of the here and now. _Then I reflect that all things happen, happen to one, precisely now. Century follows century, and things happen only in the present. There are countless men in the air, on land and at sea, and all that really happens happens to me_ –and he is greeted by a shy childlike smile.

_He knows what it means: thank you for bringing me here._

_Thank you for not leaving me there._

_Thank you for not leaving me alone._

* * *

They don't bend space, yet they do bend time.

During their first life _–Sasuke refers to their past as first life, trying not to make Itachi suffer further with the memory –_they had been robbed of their time together, that had been replaced by sad, desperate existences. Itachi had to pretend to be a criminal, fight illness, wait for his brother to kill him and gain power and glory. Sasuke had to feed on hate and longing and despair, in an endless quest for his brother.

The younger Uchiha wanted that time back.

That's why he asked Itachi to stop the physical manifestation of its passing.

That's why, when he revived Itachi, he him taller; a minor detail that reveals a lot about Sasuke.

He did not just want his brother back. He wanted him to look older, taller _–stronger –_than him, like he should have been if Konoha hadn't destroyed his life.

To Itachi his stubborn devotion to his idea of perfection is endearing, like many other little things Sasuke does for him.

Like insisting to try the local sweets even if he detests sweet food, only to have something more to share with him, or making sure he has extra blankets even if it's not cold and he is not sick.

_Not anymore. Not in this life._

* * *

Mentioning Konoha is inevitable.

Sasuke's grudge hasn't vanished yet _–it will never entirely do– _but it's not as destructive as once.

After all, talking about his past life, the one he had before joining Orochimaru, is natural.

Sometimes he manages not to ruin his mood when he does.

He hardly ever brings up what happened after the war.

He hardly ever thinks about that period; instead he thinks about what his existence would have been if he hadn't brought Itachi back.

* * *

_It's a nightmare, the future he envisions without Itachi._

_He would have become a lonely bitter man._

_He would have stayed away from the Leaf for as long as he could._

_He would have avoided a wife he didn't love, with whom the only connection was a child conceived as an obligation._

_He could have never pretended to love his family and the village._

_He would have done his duty, guilt as the only reason to keep him there._

_And honor, for he would have done it for Itachi._

_With an absent father and a frustrated mother his daughter would have felt insecure, unworthy._

_She would have not reached her full potential nor understood what she really wanted._

_She would have tried to obtain her distracted father's approval in any possible way, risking her life in the process, probably dying before her time._

* * *

_Sasuke is relieved that he's not there anymore._

_Now he understands that she has no fault for being born._

_He doesn't know that his former wife used Karin's Uzumaki chakra to carry on a genetically impossible pregnancy, in order to add another chain on him._

_Itachi will never tell him. He read Sasuke's soul. He felt his pain, the shame for not having been able to prevent betrayal and manipulation. He doesn't want his beloved brother to suffer anymore._

_Sasuke doesn't need to focus on the past when the future is much better, and the present is sweet and bright as the sunlight in spring._

_Besides, the child is happy. _ _Her mother is happy too. They mourned his death and got over his loss._

_For Sakura it was like being freed from a curse, to be was finally over with the childhood obsession that clouded her judgment and turned her into a selfish shallow woman._

_Hatake Kakashi, former Sixth Hokage and current Seventh Hokage's right hand, supported her discreetly until he understood that her heart was blooming again, for him._

_Now he loves her openly, unconditionally, and she loves him back._

_No, he loves them openly, unconditionally, and they love him back, for Sakura is no longer a teenage girl. She is a young woman with a daughter who needs her more than anyone else._

_Together they brought him back from the darkness he had fallen into._

_Together they are his light and warmth. They are his world._

_Now he has someone real to protect, not just the honor of the village._

_His stepdaughter carries Uchiha genes. No one is more qualified than him to raise a future Sharingan user._

_For the silver haired man her slight resemblance to Sasuke is a reminder that he failed him, and an oath not to make the same mistake again._

_Not with the daughter of the woman he silently loved for years._

_Not with his own daughter, because Sarada calls him dad now._

* * *

When Sasuke muses about how his unwanted future he feels overwhelmingly grateful to Itachi, who didn't dispel Edo Tensei, who chose to stay with him.

_A god choosing to stay with a lowly human._

He hugs him tight then, burying his face in the crook of his neck, as if hiding from gloomy thoughts.

Itachi lets him do it. He knows what he's thinking.

He knows that his brother's hug will become passionate.

He also knows that his brother wants him to take the lead now, to be as passionate and rough and _dangerous_ as he can be, to not be afraid of his darkest side, just like Sasuke has exposed his own so far, and doesn't do anymore because things have changed and he's no longer obsessed with control.

* * *

_Sceneries resonate into Sasuke's young soul; the beauty of their surroundings and the beauty of the person he loves inspire his newly discovered sense of aesthetics._

_A meadow._

_The tall grass, almost reaching their knees, hinders their movements as they spar._

_Sasuke defies Itachi._

_He is fast. He throws him on the ground, with a satisfied grin, but his victory is only momentary._

_In the blink of an eye their positions are reversed._

_He finds himself pinned, hands above his head, buried under a blanket of green, his brother straddling him. Sasuke loves feeling the elder's weight sinking into his body._

_He loves the strong hand on his throat, the grip loosening only when he's on the verge of passing out._

_He loves the idea of being almost erased, his body crushed, his consciousness numbed, by the one he loves._

_He loves the worry Itachi is no longer able to erase from his eyes, as he chokes him._

_He loves the lust Itachi is no longer able to hide and his feral look as he takes him._

_He loves his hoarse, broken voice –"say you want this, Sasuke" –when he sinks his length deep into him._

* * *

_Itachi's reflection in the window._

_Outside, the snow falling quietly over a quiet village._

_Inside, the smell of tea and the humid warmth of hot water in the bathroom._

_Sasuke strips his brother of the yukata. He washes him slowly, carefully, running his pale fingers across every inch of the elder's body, following each ridge and hollow, mesmerized by the patterns the liquid traces on his broad shoulders, his taut chest and abdomen._

_Without even realizing Sasuke kneels before him._

_He kisses his feet as if he were worshiping a sacred being –he is –then his mouth goes up; ankles, shins, knees, thighs. Restraining himself becomes harder but he endures the torture._

_Itachi catches his breath when Sasuke takes him in his mouth__._

* * *

Itachi can't shake the guilt off his soul. It's part of who he is, even in this life.

For him, who slaughtered the clan, who killed their parents, who ruined his brother's life, who tainted his pure body, letting go is harder than for Sasuke, whose only desire was to be with him.

His only desire has always been Sasuke's safety.

He couldn't afford anything else when his clan was on the verge of being annihilated.

He couldn't afford to be less hard on him if he wanted to make sure that a child who adored him would have no doubts about his cruelty, so that he would never ask questions.

So that he would never get in trouble with Danzo.

Itachi knows there was no other choice but just like Sasuke he can't help being haunted by dark thoughts.

_He can't escape from them. He doesn't even try._

_He deserves them, he thinks. It's a fair price to pay for the second chance he got._

When this happens he looks at his beautiful, beloved brother and tells himself that everything he did in his life, all the blood he shed, all the lies and silences and pain, all the acts of sacrifice and love led to that very moment, when he is so blessed to have the light of his life by his side.

He is not sure if he will ever be able to truly forgive himself, but the idea that for Sasuke _–who could have hated him –_he is the most important person _–his whole world. Even if he could have chosen another life, another person –_gives Itachi the strength to try harder.

Clouds don't make the sky less beautiful. They add new shapes and colors.

For them it's the same: their tragic past makes their present even more beautiful.

* * *

When Sasuke enjoys especially the village they are staying in, he states with a deadpan expression:

"I wouldn't mind living here".

Itachi always agrees with a smile and replies that there is a much better place waiting for him.

_For them, he adds almost shyly, ruffling his brother's hair._

Nevertheless he makes sure their stay is longer than originally planned.

Sasuke never complains anyway. He trusts Itachi's judgment.

He yearned for his big brother for so long that even being scolded or denied something _–he loves to defy Itachi with little insignificant things just to be lectured –_it's a source of happiness.

It means that the one he loves cares for him.

* * *

Masking their chakra is more than enough once they cross the Great Shinobi Countries.

Neither of them has ever been so far away.

The five main states and the smaller ones occupy a whole huge continent, but beyond a mountain with an unpronounceable name, across a seemingly endless ocean, there are other villages, other states, other alliances and rivalries, other elders in charge and youngsters obeying.

Humanity is the same everywhere.

In these lands everything seems simpler somehow; villages are smaller and poorer, lords and rulers less militarized, guardians and fighters weaker, compared to what they come from.

* * *

In the farthest corner of the world, in the poorest wasteland, Itachi says they're almost _there_.

Sasuke asks him if he is sure even if he's not worried.

He trusts his big brother, even if he only sees a rocky barren land.

With his utmost surprise, beyond a canyon they are greeted by luxuriant nature, animals, people.

Not far from them there's a small, open gate.

The banner on top is blank.

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**The words Itachi quotes are from Labirynths by J. L. Borges, my favourite writer.**_

_**In my story I never wanted to bash Sakura even though I put her under a negative light. It's not her fault but kishimoto's, who instead of developing her he made her selfish, shallow and destructive for the whole plot.**_

_**In my story I pointed out her flaws but I gave her a happy ending with Kakashi. I love Kakasaku, I think he really protected her since the start, more than Naruto (with whom he was indifferent, then indulgent) or Sasuke (with whom he was hard), I like the idea of them as a couple. Sakura needs someone who makes her grow up as a person, and I think that someone like Kakashi, who has seen so much in his life, is the perfect complement for someone who has always been shielded from the worst things.**_

_**I like the idea of Sakura and her daughter becoming Kakashi's family very much, even if I really dislike the new generation kids. Maybe you'll have noticed that I referred to Sakura's daughter with her own name only in this chapter.**_

_**I did it on purpose, and not because I'm hysterical and can't handle that name.**_

_**It's because in my universe, where things are viewed from Itachi's or Sasuke's point of view although the narrator is external, she represents a symbol (of an unwanted relationship, of a forced marriage) more than a real person. She represents the result of Konoha (=Kakashi, Sakura, Naruto) manipulating Sasuke through guilt. In my story Sasuke's point of view depersonalizes her. Her existence is "legitimized" only now that Sasuke is free, Sakura is free too, and Kakashi treats her like his own daughter. Now she is a real person. A happy person.**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Warnings: f-ck warnings, it's the last chapter. you guys know what this fic is about. Itasasu. More notes below.**_

* * *

_"Let's grow old together and die at the same time. (White Lies, To Lose My Life)"_

* * *

Apparently the gate is unguarded, but a second glance a group of children is playing make-believe in the guard post.

As they spot the strangers they interrupt their game and rush at them.

Itachi kneels down and whispers something in the tallest boy's ear. He opens his eyes wide and nods before running away.

His friends stay, gesturing the brothers to follow them.

They pass through a wide area that looks like a camp, with tents and buildings under construction, before arriving at the core of this new village.

Here the streets are vibrant and lively. The houses are simple, but each one has its own peculiar shape and color.

Like its villagers.

_As if all those people and their houses were samples of humanity._

* * *

They hear noises from what looks like a training ground. Then silence. Then something or someone attacking. Sasuke unsheathes his sword and effortlessly blocks it.

Young voices murmur their admiration for the stranger.

"You can't beat me…Suigetsu." Sasuke grins.

"Watch your mouth, Uchiha. You're talking with the owner of the Seven Swords".

Replies the other with a smug look.

"Six." rebukes Sasuke: everyone knows Killer Bee has Samehada.

_At least there is someone who doesn't back out from a good fight, Suigetsu thinks, but his joy in seeing Sasuke is much deeper than that._

Suigetsu keeps bragging until he is cut off by a high pitched scream, a sequel of insults and a loud "I'm so happy to see you!".

Not even Kusanagi prevents Karin from hugging Sasuke so strongly he can barely breathe.

_Uzumaki people are strong indeed…_

He doesn't complain, not even when she looks at him, then at Itachi, then at him again, probably weighing their chakra and everything that comes with it.

_She notices how tall Sasuke has become, how his hair are still unruly even if they are longer, and his bangs almost cover one eye until he shakes his head to shift it._

_He is still pale and slender, much like his brother, because she recognizes Uchiha Itachi from his chakra and the resemblance with her friend._

_The older man's skin tone is less pale, his hair are straight and neat, he has distinctive tear troughs and his eye shape is slightly different, but nevertheless they look like each other._

_They are both attractive men. They both are intimidating in their own way._

_Karin sees their chakra. It explains their eyes._

_Sasuke seems to harbor a raging storm that threatens to burst out if he doesn't keep it under an impassive mask._

_Itachi holds a fire inside, a deep warm fire buried underground. He is calm and collected, knowing that nothing can put out that fire._

"Karin, let him breathe…"

Says Juugo with his usual calm tone.

His curse mark is smaller. He has it under control now.

That's why he looks more confident, happier.

_Karin is the main reason._

_The way she looks at Sasuke is caring and affectionate, but it's not the same look as before._

_That look is for Juugo now. Her love made everything possible._

Karin takes his hand and pulls him closer to her and Sasuke, for a big collective hug.

Suigetsu looms teasingly over the group, close enough to touch them.

Itachi smiles at the heartfelt display of affection.

* * *

A loud caw and a screech free the younger Uchiha.

Sasuke's hawk is flying over them. Itachi's crow is following it mischievously, multiplying then returning one again, taking advantage of the raptor's confusion to pull his tail.

They both land on Juugo's shoulders.

"Crows like pulling tails. They are smart and playful animals."

He explains, handling it to his owner.

The brothers haven't seen the birds since days. They often send them ahead but usually they return soon.

This time they must have enjoyed this place so much that they decided to stay.

The hawk reaches Sasuke's arm, closing its eyes under its master's pats.

"Anyway the crow always looked after the hawk."

_Just like Itachi._

_Life forced him to pull his little brother's tail hard._

_Yet he always watched over him._

* * *

The hospitals is peaceful and clean except from a room full of test tubes and books.

Orochimaru's lab.

_Some things never change._

_His research must have been a complete success. He looks younger and healthier._

"I had a feeling you would have looked for me once again, Sasuke."

The man remarks, smirking.

_Orochimaru hoped to see Sasuke again._

_He knew that his former pupil was a free spirit, that he would never be content in Konoha, that he would never forget his ideals._

_He hoped he was wrong. Living in a small world with a narrow mindset would have been easier._

Orochimaru can't help but feel proud that his pupil succeeded where he failed_._

_He improved the Edo Tensei like no one ever could. Not even him._

_It must have taken a long time and great effort_.

He is proud that the young man is a free thinker, guided only by his values, not those imposed by Konoha's hypocrite system.

He can't help stare in awe when Itachi's left eye activates a Rinnegan.

_Itachi doesn't need to intimidate him; he knows that the snake sannin has no hostile intent._

_Nevertheless, his big brother instinct kicks in._

The young boy who wanted to become stronger, who followed him, perfectly aware that he would have to give him his body, the young man who summoned him to learn everything he ignored because he wanted to understand the brother he chased throughout all his life, is an adult now.

_Yet his brother is still the force that moves him, Orochimaru thinks, shaking his head._

_Maybe Itachi is the only way to predict where the wind will blow when it comes to Sasuke_.

Lastly they meet Kabuto.

He is healing a child's leg, looking tired but serene.

They say that he is the one who works the most, both as a medic and as a teacher, but Karin complains loudly: she works with him therefore both of them work the most.

Kabuto is overjoyed at the sight of the two brothers.

When he was trapped in Izanami's loop he experienced firsthand their love for each other, Itachi's will to protect Sasuke and Sasuke's pain for being forced apart.

* * *

The group shows them around, pointing at this and that, bickering and screaming, asking about their former leader's opinion on countless matters.

A few steps behind his brother listens carefully to the older ones' telling.

They traveled for a long time, using Orochimaru's hideouts as lodgings, until they decided that their continent and its peace and order, were no longer for them.

They wanted something more.

At times the group split up, each of them looking for something different, but they always reunited.

_Although there was nothing to keep them chained to the others, there was an unbreakable bond between them. They cared for each other. They loved each other. They were a family._

They hated admitting it but when someone wasn't there they missed them.

Even Juugo and the too many animals that slept in his room.

_Juugo always had the habit of saving animals._

_He saved a child once. Then another one, and another, until there was a bunch of orphans following them._

Even Suigetsu and his constant picking up fights because he needed to keep his collection of swords in exercise.

_He defended the weak but was often found drinking with those he beat up. He said he enjoyed liquor, no matter who poured it._

_Besides, most of those criminals were just rogue nin who had lost their job and purpose to a peace that didn't offer anything in return._

Even Karin's bossy attitude.

_She insisted that the orphans called her big sister, not auntie. She was young and beautiful, she specified._

_She ignored the youngest ones calling her mommy but in her heart she enjoyed it._

_She cared for all her boys, young and old._

Even Kabuto and Orochimaru's weirdness.

_Unlike the others, tentatively following their instinct, Kabuto had a purpose: to atone for his crimes by helping as many people as he could._

_He would never forget that Itachi saved him. He wanted to be worth of his trust._

_Orochimaru observed them, neutral._

_Once they were his test subjects and assistants._

_They were scared, for he had preyed on their fear. They were selfish, for they had to survive._

_They had grown up. They had forgiven him._

_He would have never thought such detail could matter so much._

* * *

"It is a challenge" Orochimaru said when they left the last outpost of humanity –nothing more than a wasteland –towards an empty, barren land.

They all agreed that the sannin's smile was scary when he inspected the enormous plain of nothing, envisioning how it would become.

They were undoubtedly the right people for claiming such hostile and useless land.

_Hostile and useless, just like them._

Kabuto and Suigetsu used their water jutsu to create a lake and a river.

With the techniques replicated from Yamato's Hashirama cells Orochimaru created plants, trees, flowers, a fertile soil.

Juugo told his animal friends that this place was safe for them to live in.

After animals humans started arriving too; outcasts without a place in the world, people who had lost their families and their villages in a war between mythical creatures in a faraway land across the sea, or so they had heard, because the only thing they knew for sure was that their whole world had been wiped away by gigantic burning stones.

* * *

Juugo is in charge with security.

His animals patrol the land, inside and outside the village.

They can perceive chakra.

When they sense bad people arriving a seal is activated and the village becomes invisible.

There haven't been many bad people arriving anyway.

Most of those who come only need a second chance.

_Just like them._

They are greeted by Karin, who senses chakra, lies and true intentions.

_Suigetsu says she's not smarter than animals._

_She hits him, he turns into water and people smile, after a long time._

Kabuto takes care of their poor health.

Suigetsu keeps things in check because fights may happen between people from different countries and cultures. They can be settled, sometimes through talking, sometimes through a brawl and a few drinks.

Orochimaru doesn't take part in these activities. He created the environment; he is a scientist, not a philanthropist. He enjoys the observation.

"It is an experiment," he says, "a study on social behavior".

Karin jokes about him having become a good old man, after a young woman they walk into bows respectfully, without an ounce of fear, to greet him.

"What a nonsense" he adds, "I'm not old."

* * *

They arrive at a lake whose water is impossibly blue, surrounded by trees and flowers that shouldn't exist in the same place.

"Here snakes and birds live together."

States Juugo, pointing at the luxuriant scenery.

"How is it possible?" asks Sasuke, masking his curiosity.

_Sasuke is uncomfortable showing emotions to anyone but Itachi._

_Sometimes he still hesitates with him too, but the elder is able to see everything he feels and thinks. _

_He doesn't need Rinnegan to see what's in his brother's eyes._

"Because we want to." is Orochimaru's reply, "This place is a paradox. An impossibility made possible by our will."

"You will like it here," he adds, "You are two paradoxes as well."

* * *

Karin explains that she recognized Sasuke's chakra when she spotted the birds.

They couldn't wait to see him again; they wanted to set everything up for his arrival but there was too much to do.

The only decent place they have is a nearby shed.

She can't imagine that Sasuke will love it.

_A wooden cabin hidden by the trees, just like the place where his new life began._

* * *

Itachi never had dinner with such chaotic people.

_He has perfect table manners, like the future leader of a prestigious noble clan was supposed to._

_He lived on food pills during his Anbu years. Later, because of the illness that gave him constant nausea he barely ate._

_Since he's been brought back he enjoys eating with Sasuke, just the two of them sharing food and talking quietly, a simple act, but for someone who had been stripped of everything like him –like them –it was pure bliss._

He enjoys the noise and the silly fights over food.

He drinks the liquor Orochimaru pours for him and Sasuke, jokingly remarking that in the past this would have never happened because they were both underage, conveniently omitting what happened between them all.

He answers everyone's questions.

He squeezes Sasuke's hand under the table.

The younger is used to their chaos, but their presence brings him back to a past where he defended Itachi's memory. This makes him tense, ready to strike if someone dares insult his brother.

Even if said brother is there, even if he is the strongest one, even if he knows that Taka never judged him before and it's not judging them now.

_Itachi's warm hand is soothing, so that Sasuke sees things as they are._

_Sasuke sees that they like Itachi._

_They are not Konoha people. For them his brother is neither an abomination nor a killer._

When the feast is over, just as Karin and Juugo walk arm in arm, Sasuke takes Itachi's hand.

_Suigetsu is about to tease him; the former leader of their group, the one who defeated Orochimaru, the one who defeated a so called god, needing his big brother's hand._

_He doesn't say it though. No one better than his former comrades know how much he loved Itachi, how strongly he suffered knowing the truth, how hard he fought to avenge him._

He doesn't bother hiding his love.

_They already know. They always knew._

_Now they see it with their own eyes, that his love brought his precious person back from the grave._

_That he gave his beloved one the greatest power because he didn't need it, because the only thing he needed was him._

* * *

Even though it's very late they are not tired.

They are excited for the many possibilities that this place might bring.

It's like starting a new chapter of their lives, but at the same time they feel that their wonderful journey –of which they'll always cherish each memory –is over.

It's a warm feeling, coming home at last.

Sasuke thought he had forgotten his former comrades' voices, their gestures, their quirks; on the contrary, everything they did was familiar.

He had chosen them.

He hated to admit it back then, but he knew well that he needed their abilities to find Itachi.

_So that he could kill his terminally ill brother, who took medicines to prolong his life so that Sasuke could end it himself, something he wasn't able to do anyway._

_They fought, he used all his attacks and yet he couldn't defeat him._

_He wasn't strong enough to reach him. He ended up watching him die in front of him._

_The memory of Itachi's burnt arm, his injured leg, his hand clutching his chest while coughing blood will always make him shiver._

He had chosen them but they had chosen him too, when they stayed after his goal had been reached, when they helped him towards his new goal, avenging Itachi, then protecting the village in Itachi's memory.

They were truly loyal. He had been loyal too, until he had to choose between Karin and Itachi.

_They all knew that in his mind, in his heart, in his soul, there was no place for anyone else._

It wasn't rare that Sasuke talked about his old team, who had tried to lessen the anger, the desperation, the pain he felt.

_It hadn't worked for him, but it had worked for them: trying to make him smile, doing small and big tasks for him had lessened their own burden of sadness._

He never talked about wanting to meet them, so before arriving Sasuke didn't have a clue about Itachi's destination.

He didn't even know if he had a place in mind or if he would decide it along the way.

It didn't matter because he trusted him. Besides, every place would have been perfect if they were together.

Every place was perfect because Itachi himself is perfect, Sasuke can't help but think, once again.

_Once again he is surprised by his brother's foresight and ability to read between the crevices of his heart._

_Itachi saw that he would have liked to meet his friends long before he did, but there was more._

_Itachi wanted to give Sasuke everything he deserved –Sasuke deserved everything –but couldn't have because of Konoha, because of life, because of him._

_For Itachi what Sasuke deserves is not just his love –his endless love. His eternal love. His devoted love –and protection._

_He needs roots, a place to belong, friends and people who love him for who he is._

_Even if said friends are remainders of a dark past, even if Orochimaru has been an evil man for most of his life and Itachi, who knew him well from their Akatsuki days, has many reasons not to trust him._

_When he had access to Sasuke's memories Itachi saw how much they respected and cared for him, unlike those he left in Konoha._

Sasuke is not able to read Itachi's heart with the same ease.

_He is not like Itachi and he doesn't want to be. Not anymore. He is luckier because he can admire his perfection. He can live beside such perfection._

Nevertheless, he knows that there is one more reason behind his decision.

A selfish one, although selfish is not the right word to define his older brother's need to give his new life and power a bigger purpose.

_Every place would have been perfect, Sasuke always said._

_For Itachi it was the same. He loved wandering with his brother. He loved the intimacy between them, whether they were the sole humans in a forest at night or strangers in a crowded town._

_He loved how the younger depended on him for orientation, guidance and much more._

* * *

It's the first time that they see a bath tub whose legs are shaped as lion paws.

The light of countless candles dancing on his chiseled bare chest, Itachi points out his marvel at the vastness of the world and the diversity of its people to a seemingly distracted Sasuke, who enters the tub and rests his head on its edge.

The elder knows why his brother is so silent.

He is overwhelmed by emotions and resurfacing memories but most of it all he is afraid to lose what they have.

_The precious complicity, the intimacy they share, the meaningful words, the comfortable silences, the hungry kisses, the light touches, the heavy caresses, every facet of their love, the kaleidoscopic bond that escapes definitions and boundaries._

He is frightened of not being Itachi's only thought anymore.

_Something always came before him, in the past. Training, their father's orders, missions, Konoha. Even capturing Naruto was more important than fighting him._

_Sasuke knows, now, that Itachi loves him more than anything and anyone._

_He knows that his older brother sacrificed his whole life for him, that he devoted the new one to him as well._

_Itachi listened to him like no one ever did. He cared for him. He took his violence, welcoming with open arms the madness that was creeping inside him since the war ended –not before. They said he was crazy when he attacked the Kage. That he had fallen into the darkness when he killed Danzo but he knew exactly what he was doing. He was avenging his brother, a lucid act that they condemned as madness to keep their consciences clean._

_Itachi betrayed Konoha for him. He killed for him. He set off on a journey to find his brother's old comrades._

_Knowing that Itachi's love for him and his need to use his power –he never thinks about his Rinnegan as the power he gave him –for good are two different things doesn't help Sasuke._

He is scared that Itachi will entrust him to his former team mates, that he will no longer watch over him.

That he will no longer love him.

_Sasuke doesn't need to be entrusted to someone._

_He doesn't need a new Naruto. He doesn't need a new Konoha._

_He can look after himself perfectly._

_He wants to stay with Itachi because he loves him, and he wants to be loved by him._

Every time Sasuke adjusted to the sudden changes that shook his life since the massacre, every time he found a way to react, a new event occurred and he had to start all over, picking up the broken pieces, that became smaller and more shattered each time, with each hit.

Like their meeting in the woods, that brought him an indescribable joy, but when he disappeared Sasuke was alone and desperate.

_He wished to cling to him as he was fading away._

_He wished to grab his hand and never let it go._

_He wished to close the distance between their mouths, as their foreheads touched._

_He wished to be inside Kabuto's head, where he and Itachi were still fighting side by side, where they still had time._

Sasuke needs reassurance. Itachi's eyes are full of love and understanding as he caresses his cheek.

"Nothing will change between us, Sasuke. I promise" he says, softly.

The younger's look lightens up. He needed to hear this.

"I will never abandon you." Itachi cups his face with both hands.

"I love you, Sasuke."

He whispers, kissing the younger's lips. It's a chaste loving gesture, until Sasuke opens his mouth ever so slightly, and Itachi can't help but do the same and it's like opening a dam and letting his soul pour into the other through the contact of their lips and touch of their tongues.

When he breaks the long kiss Sasuke's face is flushed and his eyes half closed.

_Hypnotized by the elder's deep gaze, wanting more of those kisses, wanting more of his soul that he just tasted._

Itachi enters the tub, settling behind his brother, washing his hair as he always does.

Sasuke nestles against his chest, while the elder's hands massage his scalp then his tense shoulders.

"…I wouldn't mind living here…" Sasuke mutters.

Itachi kisses the back of his head.

"You will be happy here."

He hugs him tightly.

_Just as Sasuke has a hard time expressing his feelings, he still can't relate himself and happiness._

"We will be happy here."

He grazes his teeth on Sasuke's neck. He kisses the junction between neck and shoulder, while his hands travel lower, from his waist to his groin to his hard length, pumping him slowly, while the younger moans, his hips bucking unto his hand, asking for more.

* * *

The brothers start helping the village a few days after their arrival.

Itachi does everything, from healing the sick with Kabuto to assisting Karin in welcoming and counseling other newcomers to find their inclination, so they can settle, be independent, and give back to the community. _They all need to give back. They need to feel useful. Itachi sees it in their eyes._

Sasuke's inclination not being people oriented, he helps with building and repairing, not unlike what he used to do during his genin days.

His favorite task is taking care of the animals with Juugo.

_He finds easier to express affection to animals._

_Some things will never change._

Itachi often joins him.

_He promised they would be together and they are._

Working side by side with his older brother makes him feel safe, content, worthy, no matter the task.

* * *

One autumn day the whole group, including Orochimaru, leads the Uchiha brothers to a newly built structure in the center of the village. In the largest room a little man is polishing a beautifully carved desk and a throne-like chair.

When they all compliment him heartily the artisan keeps dusting, brushing off their words as if his work was nothing special.

_He worked hard but he did it happily because he wanted to thank those who helped him and his family._

_These people are indeed special._

_The noisy one with the sharp teeth who bets too often on the wrong side and has to pay drinks for everybody._

_The quiet one who is good with animals._

_The girl with glasses who managed to get his wife out of the fragile state she was in, after the loss of their youngest son during their pilgrimage, by visiting her every day and chatting about everything that came to her mind._

_The medic who never looks at people in the eyes but spends entire nights watching over them when they are ill._

_The effeminate young man who talks like he's way older and the new arrivals, the man with the kind smile and the sad eyes who's always willing to help, and his younger sibling, who works in silence and leaves before he can be thanked._

Casually tracing the hollow and pointy peaks of the chair Orochimaru says:

"Sasuke, I decided to help you in the past because I wanted to see you change the world."

He always welcomed any change. To him, stable meant stagnant.

"I still want to see the kind of world you have in mind, so…this is for you."

Sasuke doesn't bother hiding his surprise.

_Konoha rejected him and his ideas of change. He was deemed as crazy, unreliable, wrong._

_He was forced to hide his real self, succumbing to their manipulations in order to be accepted._

_Now his former mentor is giving him complete control of the place he built with the comrades he left behind._

He sits in the carved chair while all the eyes are on him.

Especially Itachi's. He is proud of his little brother, finally acknowledged as trustworthy.

Sasuke accepts without formality. Before the congratulations begin, the young Uchiha stands up.

With the same confidence he announces:

"My first change is to leave the job to my brother, Uchiha Itachi."

A moment of stupefied silence follows the announcement.

Everyone is familiar with Itachi by now. They trust him completely just as they trust Sasuke.

Orochimaru smirks at another development he didn't foresee.

_His former pupil is really special._

"My, my, the once power thirsty Uchiha Sasuke becoming sentimental and leaving everything to his brother…again …" he jokes, unfazed by the younger's glare, "…Fine. It's your choice, after all. I have the feeling I'll have a lot of fun from now on…"

Sasuke is serious as he addresses his old sensei.

"I wanted to build a better world because it was my brother's dream" he asserts calmly, after a brief glance to his brother, "but now that I have him with me..." he pauses, looking for the right words.

"_Now that I have him with me I don't care for anything else, I have everything I want."_

"I'm not the right person for ruling a village. Itachi is. He is smart, and wise, and selfless."

_He sacrificed himself and the ones he held dear for the greater good, while I would have burnt everything to ashes in his name._

_I would still do it._

"…He is perfect…"

The words slip from his lips as a barely audible whisper.

Itachi places both his hands on his Sasuke's shoulders. Now all eyes are on him.

_The older Uchiha couldn't choose that path when he was young and the whole village was in danger._

_When Sasuke –his precious Sasuke, his pure brother whose birth had blessed his sad existence –was in danger._

His voice is firm, unwavering, unlike his heart.

_He was a criminal, a killer, a monster who didn't deserve such honor, a voice tells him._

_Sasuke's eager, loving eyes give him strength, pulling him out of the swamp of guilt and self-hate._

_Their friends' acceptance gives him confidence._

_This is his new life. This is the village where everyone deserves a second chance._

_He has the power to help all of them._

_He has the power to help make his dream of a better world come true._

_He has the power to make the world a better place for Sasuke, like he desired as a child._

"I humbly accept this honorable position, on one condition."

Orochimaru is visibly thrilled at the new surprise.

"We will rule together."

* * *

The banner on the gate finally has some writing painted on it.

Koegakure no Sato.

_The Village of Voices, where everybody counts and nobody is forgotten._

The name was decided with a vote.

Each part of the community, from agriculture to carpentry and construction, from the police corps, to arts and medicine, from the founding members to the newly arrived, everyone is equal and has the right to express their opinion, first in assemblies, then through their delegates in the Council, where the Kage expresses his final verdict only after having listened to all parties.

Civilians are involved in every issue. Nothing is kept secret from them.

People feel safe and happy. Population keeps growing from the inside and the outside.

* * *

Everybody loves the powerful but modest Kage.

Everybody loves his irritable right hand, who makes sure that his brother's final decisions are followed through and his name is not disrespected.

_Itachi never asked for this and nobody ever disrespects him, but some habits are old to die._

Mostly he prevents the Kage himself from working too much.

_At least he tries. Itachi is incredibly stubborn, in his own, soft spoken way._

Before submitting his ideas to the council Itachi wants to know Sasuke's opinion.

Despite the frequent disagreements –the younger's ideas are bold, often reckless –he values immensely his insights, a result of growing up alone, with no real model, no heritage, no loyalty besides the one to the oath he swore, only his unrelenting will and the memories of a happy life that had turned into a nightmare.

They both enjoy the moments before the official meetings start, when sitting by the carved table there is just him and the beautiful, vehement young man.

Sasuke doesn't mind being outsmarted by his wiser brother, but it doesn't stop him from saying what's on his mind.

He likes defying him after all. And he likes teasing him, so much that more often than not their exchanges turn into something else entirely.

_It happens, sometimes, that Sasuke ends the debate by leaving the room. Or trying to. _ _He never makes it because Itachi shoves him on the table –just like Sasuke likes it, he sees it in the younger's eyes, as he loosens his hair, he hears it in the younger's words –to explain him_ _ the issue again, all the while kissing and biting every inch of his pale taut skin, relishing in every moan, shivering every time he arches beneath him, defying him again_ _, urging him to sink deeper, calling out his feral and hidden side._

* * *

Kabuto runs the hospital. He is always considerate of others' ideas, but when it's time to decide he always supports Itachi, just as Juugo always supports Sasuke.

Orochimaru never expresses his opinion. He likes the discussions, though.

Sometimes he doesn't leave his lab for weeks, until he calls for a special meeting to announce his latest discovery to improve farming, health, or security.

_No more experiments on humans for him. Climate and plants and bacteria are more interesting. His countless jutsu, applied to the village's needs are more satisfying._

_Besides, doing the same thing for a lifetime is boring, he says ironically._

On Itachi's suggestion Sasuke keeps learning from the sannin.

The elder noticed his inclination for research as soon as he was brought back. He told his brother that it would be a waste of potential if he didn't explore that part of himself.

_Itachi wants Sasuke to learn as much as he can, to be more than a shinobi, unlike what happened in the old world, where fighters had to fight without knowing why and how the conflicts started in the first place._

_Itachi enriched his baggage with history, philosophy and art, subjects he still loves._

_He asked each family to bring the few books they owned to the library they built._

_There wasn't much, until Orochimaru donated his own huge collection._

Karin is in charge of the school, where children study history and culture of every part of the world.

They learn how life is in the places where their schoolmates come from; they are reminded of what it's like to live in times of war and hardships, so that they'll appreciate peace.

They learn arts and crafts because the village needs all kind of abilities to function properly, because everyone has a unique potential, and everyone's contribution is equally important.

Although not a militarized village like Konoha, there are many who want to defend the place they love so much. There is no will of fire and no rhetoric in the authentic love for their homes and their families.

Suigetsu is more than happy to teach how to fight to adults and kids alike.

At times Orochimaru offers his help.

He considers himself a good teacher who was misunderstood, after all.

It's interesting to teach basic chakra control to people who never practiced it before.

Occasionally Sasuke and Itachi join them.

Karin and Juugo, always hand in hand, bring lunch for everyone.

Suigetsu complain that they should kiss in private; Karin teases him because he hasn't found a girlfriend.

The swordsman assures he has plenty. Someone laughs out loud.

They eat together, enjoying the breeze and the sunlight.

And peace, for they have finally found theirs.

This is their new world order.

* * *

Sasuke's past idea of a new world was equal rights under an all-seeing ruler.

His ideal Hokage was not loved by citizens. It was someone strong enough to shoulder their fear and hatred.

He would have become that Hokage.

He wanted to be like his perfect brother, who willingly accepted to become a monster in the eyes of the same stupid people he protected, so much that the idea of bearing the world's hatred was a way to be closer to Itachi. To be like Itachi.

_To be Itachi. So he wouldn't miss him anymore._

He never made it. He was beaten and manipulated, forced into a life he didn't want, until he brought Itachi back. Until Itachi lightened up his existence.

Itachi made his resolve, his plan real. And better.

The Shinobi Alliance has now a common enemy to keep them united and strong.

_Not in hate and fear but out of love for their dear ones and determination to protect them._

Sasuke is remembered as the hero who died protecting Konoha from that unknown threat.

He is a martyr, unlike Itachi, still considered a monster.

The thought bites at him. Not at Itachi, for whom Sasuke's life, his safety, his reputation have always been more important.

Besides, that is not their life anymore.

This is their life.

A village that loves them both.

A village that knows everything he did and still accepts him.

A village that respects Sasuke.

A place that's both real, for they built it and call it home, and ideal, for it represents the realization of their ancestor's wills.

Here Senju and Uchiha work together. Here there is no discrimination.

This is their life now.

His brother, alive, safe, surrounded by companions who don't want to change him. His brother beside him. His pure, childlike smile that's just for him.

Not for his friends, not for Orochimaru, who stares at him like he's looking at a masterpiece, and at Sasuke as the genius who created it.

"You made my dream of immortality come true, Sasuke."

He discloses. The younger doesn't reply.

Itachi doesn't either.

After a long silence, filled by the chirping of birds and distant voices, he speaks softly, his hand on top of his brother's.

"I'm not immortal. I intend to live until Sasuke lives, and die with him."

There is more but he doesn't need to say it.

Not now that the sunrise colors Sasuke's pale skin with a rosy hue.

Not now that his eyes are speaking in a silent language that's only theirs, telling that Itachi made his dream come true. His sensei wanted to defeat death, he wanted his most important person to come back. His sensei calls it immortality, he calls it love.

They both call it love.

That's why if Sasuke wants to live he'll live with him.

If Sasuke wants to grow old he'll grow old with him.

If Sasuke wants to die he'll die with him and they'll go to the other world together.

If the cycle will continue, if they will have to be born again, if they'll be separated, he will find his brother.

His soulmate, for their souls are connected and their bond is stronger than life and death.

If there's a price to pay for bending the rules –life and death, time and nature –Itachi will take Sasuke's burden upon himself.

He will protect Sasuke for eternity, as he swore when he first saw him.

That's what a big brother does: protect his younger brother.

That's what he wanted.

* * *

_**A/N:**_

_**I hope you liked this ending and the whole story. Even though it turned from Sasuita to Itasasu, so some hardcore Sasuita shippers might be disappointed.**_  
_**I loved Sasuita dynamic only when I first conceived this fic, but as I was writing, because of various reasons and because of a major clarity thanks to the writing itself, my perception of their dynamics changed.**_  
_**I am tired of this psycho Sasuke/submissive Itachi. I like mentally disturbed Sasuke and Itachi who submits to a "figure of authority" but this is different. I can't help but see Sasuke's masochistic side stronger than his sadistic dominating one, and I can't help but see Itachi's controlling side and his old brother side stronger than his submissive side. So, to me Sasuita is a phase that could exist in such similar context, but that would end at some point, when Itachi decides it's time for him to return to lead, because Sasuke needs a lead. It's my opinion, not meant to be a general rule anyway. And it's the reason why despite the usual "uh I don't like the uke/seme separation it's so stupid" I agreed with, I am reversing their roles. To me it's not just a matter of sex, it's a matter of life dynamics.**_  
_**I quoted Ray Bradbury in one of Orochimaru's lines (We are an impossibility in an impossible universe).**_

_**I wrote this story because I hated the ending and I wanted to fill in the blanks it left. Before writing a completely different ending I wanted to explain myself canon, in a way.**_

_**Fanfictions are the author's self-indulgence first, a study on characters and events after, and no matter how objective they may be, there is always a subjective point of view filtering them. Reality is filtered through the single individual's mind, fanfictions are no different. Anyway I think I did a good job with the characters, all of them, no matter what some may think, especially because even if I don't go around criticizing others' stuff doesn't mean I don't see flaws in their characterization. It's normal, everyone sees things differently after all. I am thoughtful enough to realize that it's what the author wanted to write. Fics/rps are first and foremost written to please the author and not the readers. This is my characterization. many consider Itachi a passive character, I explained already why I don't consider him that way. Same for Sasuke and his friendship with Team 7, I already explained my view on it and on the way he respects and accepts Itachi's "dominance".**_

_**I don't hate any character, not even Sakura. When I uploaded the first chapters some anti-ending readers said I was not enough against her. This is stupid, because they were supposed to be friends so they should have trusted my own judgment, and because they didn't know what I clearly said I had already planned for the following chapters and they assumed they knew everything already, and also because blind hate for her character is really childish. I hate the way she's written too. I wanted to express my hate not like a child who points his feet and screams, but like an artist, using creativity to transform what's bad written and superficial into something meaningful.**_

_**From what I noticed in the reviews it may have annoyed more than one reader. Those who wanted a post ending fic that explained the new situation didn't like the Itasasu parts because they just wanted a general fic. The Itasasu fans didn't care about other characters and the village and wanted smut. Some didn't like the way I write their relationship cause it's too dark and not healthy enough. Some didn't like my style.**_  
_**Well, sorry, but this is exactly what I wanted to write.**_  
_**My style is how I want it to be. I use reiteration on purpose. I expand thoughts and stray from events on purpose. I focus on feelings and sensations more than acts during sex on purpose. I write violent/dub-con sex as a way to express certain feelings that words can't express on purpose. I don't like bdsm cause it's too structured and safe, I get bored with fluff. Not to sound arrogant but to me my way is the right way. Or I'd write different stuff, simple as that.**_

_**Now, this story made my own explanation of canon, and my own headcanons about own view that is stronger than everything that comes from the outside, no matter how many boruto movie and crap will come out, to me Naruto married Hinata for political reasons, Sasuke is in Konoha because he has been manipulated with guilt, and there is Itachi waiting for him in the cabin, and soon they will leave the village and have their own life and Sakura will marry Kakashi and they will live happily ever after.**_

_**(a warning to a certain someone who stalks and did horrible things against me: don't you dare sh-t on my fics, creep)**_


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